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Most of what everyone said is true about guys and I am one. I do generally ignore dowdy women, not consciously but it just doesn't draw my attention. Guys, even married and ugly ones, just like talking with pretty girls because it lets them keep the little fantasy in their head alive of getting with her, even if they wouldn't in real life because they dont want to cheat on their wife. I'm logical about it though and I don't fawn over pretty girls and help them, I ignore them and the most attractive man to a hot girl is one who ignores them.
I know a ton of girls who think they are uglier than they are. Most girls I've dated believed they were less attractive than they are, thats why u often see kind of busted guys with hot girls a lot more than the opposite.
With this response,its no wonder many women feel self conscious abiut appearance.
I bet 98% of men ignore dowdy women,but don't want to admit it.
Yet,people want to play that same tired "its not about looks,its about personality bull...t."
Why on earth is there an article in People about the new Yahoo CEO focusing on her clothing, decorating skills and cooking skills? And nothing about her achievements at Google that caused her to move up the ranks?
pretty women are mistreated and disrespected all the time. and they're treated that way because of how they look. they suffer abuse from jealous women who can be quite evil. when all these so called nice men find out that they can't sleep with you, they turn real nasty real quick, curse you, and bad mouth you to discouraged other guys from getting with you because they're mad that they didn't get you.
just because you get attention and men want to sleep with you doesn't mean that they love you or that we're any happier. and on the job? are you kidding? want that promotion? better take off those panties or you can forget about it.
you talk and no one takes you seriously because you couldn't possibly be intelligent. some will hate you because they ASSUME that your life must be roses. when in reality you have men and women who treat you like dirt because they're positive that you always get your way and they're not going to treat you kind like everyone else. but when you have a whole slew of people who all think the same way, you get treated really nasty by a lot of people, because they THINK that you get spoiled rotten.
and yes if i get a perk i feel i do deserve it. not because of how i look, but to make up for all the crap i have to go thru. because we get judged, discriminated against, envied, used, disrespected, and experience outright hatred all because of how we look.
believe it or not. take it or leave it.
this is my rant for today.
I absolutely believe you. Occasionally I have been envious of an attractive woman. But the bottom line is, we're all women and we're all subject to the same prejudices and we all grow old. For some men, and within the culture, women are primarily valued for youth, beauty and the ability to bear children. If you're not conventionally pretty, young or without children you may as well not exist for a lot of people. Pretty women may be able to pull more quality mates and get more male attention in general, but they are not immune to being discarded for a pretty model, violence, aging being cheated on or otherwise being exploited. To me it's senseless to see a pretty woman as my enemy unless she's blatantly going for my husband or my job.
Why on earth is there an article in People about the new Yahoo CEO focusing on her clothing, decorating skills and cooking skills? And nothing about her achievements at Google that caused her to move up the ranks?
If you look at the top left of that page you'll see a logo which represents People Magazine. This is the magazine that is widely knows for their "Most Beautiful People", "The Best Dressed", and "The Sexiest Man Alive" issues. They're going to write articles that are vertically aligned with their topics of interest.
All of the above is absolutely true-- women have been judged on their looks for centuries. This is nothing new, whether or not you think its fair, valid or important.
What I am getting from this thread is the "next level" of lookism. Why those of us who are basically thin and attractive by most standards obsess over flaws (real or imagined.) I am one of the people that drives the OP crazy. I keep it mostly to myself, but my SO has to hear about why I think my butt is too big, my arms too flabby, my earlobes (yes earlobes) ueven, all of the things I would change, how I am too fat (size 4-6) etc.
Why is this? Simple. Even if you are attractive (as reinforced by daily reactions and comments, positive feedback, attention, etc.) there are STILL 30millionbillion ways that you are not perfect. And not being perfect= not quite good enough to those of us who have doubts, insecuries or other common issues. So you fixate on things that you would like to "fix", even if they aren't noticeable or important by any sane person's standards. They can even become distorted in their importance. In that way, we keep ourselves down. In this age of makeovers, diets, surgery and positive feedback for self-improvement, we have an unending list of things we can "improve." Somewhere, there is someone who has found a healthy balance and let some of this go. It ain't me, yet.
Personally, I find flaws in others interesting and beautiful. I love a little curved belly on a woman, a nose with a bump in it, a gap between teeth, freckles, etc. None of these things would I love in myself. Sad, eh?
For women, i believe they bring that on themselves most of the time. This obession with being thin, wearing makeup and etc is because women allow the media to tell them what to do. You never hear men obsess to the level like women when it comes to getting a six pack. Seriously, how stupid does this sound, I'm going to let a magazine or commerical control my body image.
For women, i believe they bring that on themselves most of the time. This obession with being thin, wearing makeup and etc is because women allow the media to tell them what to do. You never hear men obsess to the level like women when it comes to getting a six pack. Seriously, how stupid does this sound, I'm going to let a magazine or commerical control my body image.
Men are willing participants and contributors in this game.
Women aren't obsessed because of what they see in the media. The media reflects what we value and expect out of women, it starts far earlier than when you are exposed to pop culture. Women come out of the womb being judged on their appearance. Men have the fortune of not being limited in this way.
For women, i believe they bring that on themselves most of the time. This obession with being thin, wearing makeup and etc is because women allow the media to tell them what to do. You never hear men obsess to the level like women when it comes to getting a six pack. Seriously, how stupid does this sound, I'm going to let a magazine or commerical control my body image.
First, yes, men do obsess about their appearance, but probably not as much as women do as a whole. Second, I agree with Jade, men play an enormous role in making women obsessed with appearances. I've seen men pick apart the most minute details of a woman, things that I would never have noticed. Seriously, it's stupid stuff like her feet are too veiny, her knees are too saggy, she has that extra flap of skin by her armpit. Most women would never wonder if their butt was round enough, their breasts bouncy enough, or their back arched enough if there weren't so many men constantly critiquing those who don't measure up.
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Yes a lot of it is just perfectionism, especially when the woman is already beautiful on the outside. The thing is, like a top athlete, once you've reached that level you have to be meticulous above upholding it. You can't 'let go' or else you'll, God forbid, slip into normality.
It's a two way street two. Sure men feed it, but it's not like, as the militant feminists hope, women are all burning their high-heels and throwing away the lipstick. They obviously seem pretty happy with being the preening peacocks. This is why attraction is becoming so upside down, you have 6 year olds wanting to be sex objects and females being glorified to high heaven, convoluting their sexuality.
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