U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-27-2012, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,864 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975

Advertisements

Why is the answer always:
if you are ugly, you should do everything in your power to become less ugly. (whatever that may mean). Like being ugly or attractive is a choice.

For some of us, no how much we "improve what we can" to meet society's standard of beauty, we won't get there. I know there is a whole subset of people out there who think there is no way possible someone with my features could be "attractive." Does that mean I should run out an get a nose job, lipo, breast reduction, chin implants, cheek implants, botox, skin bleaching cream....... just so I can fit in with society's beauty standards?

It is incredibly limiting to feel like the only way to be accepted or appreciated is to look as attractive as possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-27-2012, 07:21 PM
 
3,595 posts, read 3,573,502 times
Reputation: 4957
If you dress better than average and take care of yourself, you can make up somewhat for not looking like a model. 99% of people are not highly attractive, but dressing better than average can still turn heads. Walk with confidence.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 08:00 PM
 
10,339 posts, read 7,594,643 times
Reputation: 4513
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Why is the answer always:
if you are ugly, you should do everything in your power to become less ugly. (whatever that may mean). Like being ugly or attractive is a choice.

For some of us, no how much we "improve what we can" to meet society's standard of beauty, we won't get there. I know there is a whole subset of people out there who think there is no way possible someone with my features could be "attractive." Does that mean I should run out an get a nose job, lipo, breast reduction, chin implants, cheek implants, botox, skin bleaching cream....... just so I can fit in with society's beauty standards?

It is incredibly limiting to feel like the only way to be accepted or appreciated is to look as attractive as possible.
I agree. It is limiting. And you don't need to be attractive. Most people are average. But to say that is unfair is simply the truth; it's unfair. People notice whether other people are atttractive or not. We can't help it. It's not like we're even sitting there judging others or necessarily rejecting people who are not so attractive, although in the dating/mating game that is definitely the way it is, and I think that is simply evolution.

No, you don't need to fit in with society's beauty standards if you don't want to it. But don't think you are being judged on different standards than everyone else. If you find it "incredibly limiting" to be unattractive there are certainly some things you could do to modify that even a bit. And yes, is that unfair because there's other people who are born that way? Yes---- life is unfair.

But even most of the 'beautiful people' have had something done. Nobody is giving them a pass on unattractive features either. Like Angelina Jolie has obviously had a nose job.

I think we should all accept, appreciate and love ourselves no matter what our appearance. But, yes, appearance matters in life whether we like it or not --- so it's up to you what you do with the hand you were dealt.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,864 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemint View Post
If you find it "incredibly limiting" to be unattractive there are certainly some things you could do to modify that even a bit. And yes, is that unfair because there's other people who are born that way? Yes---- life is unfair.

I think we should all accept, appreciate and love ourselves no matter what our appearance. But, yes, appearance matters in life whether we like it or not --- so it's up to you what you do with the hand you were dealt.
Attractiveness and the privileges that come with it are always framed as a problem of yours and not society. That is what is limiting.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 09:50 PM
 
10,339 posts, read 7,594,643 times
Reputation: 4513
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Attractiveness and the privileges that come with it are always framed as a problem of yours and not society. That is what is limiting.
In a perfect world we would all be judged on our inner goodness, not what we looked like. But we are a social animal, we still have our caveman ancestor blood in our veins. In all of nature, looks matter. Male birds with the most striking plumage are more successful at mating. The bigger lion impregnates more females. That's just the way it is. You can't fight DNA.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 10:59 PM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,205,914 times
Reputation: 7485
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemint View Post
Good for you. For all of those who say you can't afford Botox or plastic surgery, how much do you pay for cable TV every month? How much do you pay for junk food?

Just drop your cable TV, stop eating junk food and put that money into an account. In just a few months, you'll have enough for Botox.

Instead of watching TV, use some of that time to get outside and exercise. You will lose weight and look better.

If you have bad skin, an ugly nose, a weak chin, wrinkles, or other bad features --- we're lucky. We live in a day and age in which most of those things can be improved. If you want people to accept you for what you are --- great! that's your choice.

But if you think you are ugly, tackle some of the things that are leading you to conclude that.

And most people are not UGLY, just like most people are not gorgeous---most people are average in looks. I have a feeling that many people on here are calling themselves ugly when they are average looking. And if you truly are ugly, nature did not do well by you, start saving up for plastic surgery if that is what you choose to do.
That's a myth that some people will look better if they lose weight.
Some people look better bigger,in the face anyway.
I think being skinny or thin gives the illusion of "youth",and people automatically associate youth with attractiveness.

As far as plastic surgery,there are some things that can't be fixed.
For example,head shape,a heavy brow bone,a large jaw caused by bone structure,etc those are the hardest to get surgery on,and that's my problem. My cheekbones are way to high. Even though they are a beauty marker,high cheekbones are masculine. I'm not sure why some people wish for them.
I'm not even sure botox does anything besides get rid of wrinkles.
If a woman has a beautiful face,she will have a beautiful face regardless if there are wrinkles on it or not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 11:02 PM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,205,914 times
Reputation: 7485
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemint View Post
In a perfect world we would all be judged on our inner goodness, not what we looked like. But we are a social animal, we still have our caveman ancestor blood in our veins. In all of nature, looks matter. Male birds with the most striking plumage are more successful at mating. The bigger lion impregnates more females. That's just the way it is. You can't fight DNA.
You can't compare humans to animals.

Animals are creatures of instinct. They don't have free will.
Humans do. Humans have a higher intelligence and should know better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 11:15 PM
 
10,339 posts, read 7,594,643 times
Reputation: 4513
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
You can't compare humans to animals.

Animals are creatures of instinct. They don't have free will.
Humans do. Humans have a higher intelligence and should know better.
It's automatic. It's unconscious and instantaneous. You see a person and you can't help but notice that they are attractive or not, especially if they are at the extreme ends of the continuum. That doesn't mean you need to act on it. You don't need to stare at an incredibly beautiful person, and you don't need to spurn an ugly person, but in my opinion, you can't help but notice it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2012, 11:48 PM
 
10,339 posts, read 7,594,643 times
Reputation: 4513
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
That's a myth that some people will look better if they lose weight.
Some people look better bigger,in the face anyway.
I think being skinny or thin gives the illusion of "youth",and people automatically associate youth with attractiveness.

As far as plastic surgery,there are some things that can't be fixed.
For example,head shape,a heavy brow bone,a large jaw caused by bone structure,etc those are the hardest to get surgery on,and that's my problem. My cheekbones are way to high. Even though they are a beauty marker,high cheekbones are masculine. I'm not sure why some people wish for them.
I'm not even sure botox does anything besides get rid of wrinkles.
If a woman has a beautiful face,she will have a beautiful face regardless if there are wrinkles on it or not.
High cheekbones are masculine? --- tell that to Angelina Jolie.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2012, 01:00 AM
 
Location: Yakima WA
3,856 posts, read 4,276,729 times
Reputation: 3155
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
You can't compare humans to animals.

Animals are creatures of instinct. They don't have free will.
Humans do. Humans have a higher intelligence and should know better.
Some humans are highly evolved. Others are at a more base animalistic level. The second group seems to be increasing. Not having any appreciation for inner beauty would be just one sign of many.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top