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Old 07-22-2012, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
754 posts, read 1,230,535 times
Reputation: 879

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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
...

My sick fantasy was a movie from a million years ago starring Stockard Channing, The Girl Most Likely To. Yes, I know you never heard of it. It's about a homely young college student seriously injured in an auto accident. She comes out looking better than she did before. So much better that people don't even recognize her as the same person. The rest of the movie is about her plotting and killing all the people who treated her badly because of her looks. It wasn't even a GOOD movie.
Great movie (maybe I have low standards)! Watched it on YouTube recently. I've felt the same way.
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,457 posts, read 16,408,211 times
Reputation: 13154
When I was a young teenager I had Billy bob teeth and a bad complexion and the boys and some girls used to call me ugly and weirdo all the time. It didn't help that my mother insisted on making my clothes and they were always in styles that an older woman would wear and this in a neighborhood where no one else did this. Once a neighbor gave her an old plaid skirt that she'd worn in high school and my mother made it over into a skirt for me and I was so ashamed of it that I spent the whole school day pulling my poncho over it to hide it. Then when I was 15 the braces came off and my complexion cleared up and I made some money to buy my own clothes and I went from ugly to very pretty practically overnight and I don't think that was healthy either--been dealing with the aftermath all of my life and prayed that people would just ignore me rather than always having to comment on my appearance (either way) and while I did get some dates after I got pretty, they were often of the wrong kind, if you know what I mean, and that may have been due to low self-esteem. So for me, except for the 25 years that I was married, looks have been an issue and I'd rather that they had not been and people make positive comments on my appearance all the time though I am over 50 and I still have a hard time believing it. I'm telling you all this b/c I've been on both sides of the fence and in the middle too--my married years were years of looking average and I was the happiest about looks at that point or at least I didn't spend any time thinking about them.

Also, just throwing this out there, but my guess is that few of you are as ugly as you think and I've noticed that 90% of what makes people unattractive is fixable without surgery, like weight, hair, glasses and teeth. An attractive body can go a long way but what gets people hung up is that they get bristly from thinking they're ugly so they push people away who might be interested in getting to know them but they don't realize that they're doing it so it further feeds into the cycle of thinking they're ugly. And I have known those few rare birds whose face could sink a battle ship and they were still able to be friendly and make friends and there was a woman in my dance group last year who is over 50 and has a very homely face but a very nice figure that she constantly showed off and let's just say she was very popular with the men and I was glad when she moved.
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:56 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
Well if she spent more time working on being charming and talented instead of crying over not being pretty enough maybe she would have that success too. Low self esteem is also a factor in these situations. People can smell it a mile away and its not something that will raise you up or make others feel warm towards you. Women expecting to be given something because of how they look is ridiculous. If someone wants to hire a talentless person for the position, the position can't be that great or important. Talentless people don't stay at the top.

So you have to have perfect talent or a perfect butt? So what. Get on it.

You can always do one or the other.
Both take effort.

At least the brain polish doesn't go forty-seven ways to useless after a certain age...well...maybe after retirement.
I agree. 60% of it is attitude. You deal the cards you've got. Some people, both men AND women can at least partially make it up by charm, being a wonderful person inside...if you're full of self pity that's an instant turnoff.
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
I was an ugly woman and it's tough. But there's no alternative seeing that I never had an extra 500K in my back pocket for an extreme makeover. I wasted a lot of time wishing for things I couldn't have. But it taught me a lot too. I grew up to be a kind person who treats other well. It forced me to develop other skills and talents. I had to be smart and capable of taking care of myself.

Then time passed and all those hot women started looking used up and grandmotherly. Guess what? I aged but I actually look better now than when I was 20. For the first time in my life, taking age into consideration, I am a hot property. This isn't all that easy either. The hardest part for me was getting over the anger because the person inside didn't change, I just look better than I did before.

My sick fantasy was a movie from a million years ago starring Stockard Channing, The Girl Most Likely To. Yes, I know you never heard of it. It's about a homely young college student seriously injured in an auto accident. She comes out looking better than she did before. So much better that people don't even recognize her as the same person. The rest of the movie is about her plotting and killing all the people who treated her badly because of her looks. It wasn't even a GOOD movie.
I always find it funny when people say they USED to be ugly. It's like that movie, I forgot the name, where she goes from nerdy to 'beautiful', when I thought she was just as attractive nerdy. Sure, some of it is fashion and makeup, but I think most of it is basic genetic structure.

Why is thinness always equated with beauty? The two are separate. I've seen beautiful fat women and ugly thin women.
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 80,751,010 times
Reputation: 17410
Quote:
Originally Posted by life time student View Post
There is an interesting thread on this board about women who are obsessed with their weight and their appearance. In the responses people talk about how women are always being judged by their physical looks vs. their personality or brains.

With that in mind I wonder what it like to just be plain ugly if you are a women. I have some relatives who have fine personalities, common sense and intellectual talents, but physically they are just plain ugly. They range from women with HUGE moles all over their faces, to others with really odd shaped heads, to the hugely overweight, to skin damage. I wonder sometimes what it like to be them. I would think people would look away and not want to look at them or be with them. Kids must have been cruel to them when they were growing up. Now it must be very hard to get a job or keep a job looking the way they do.

I don't look so good myself so I know the discrimination people face based on their appearance. But with these women the abuse must be just terrible.
There is no such thing (to me) as a truly ugly women if she is in good physical shape and has confidence.

In fact, I've been more physically attracted to slightly out of shape women who were intelligent and confident (several female engineers I've worked with for example) over ding bat bimbos with tight butts.
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Old 07-22-2012, 07:48 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
There is no such thing (to me) as a truly ugly women if she is in good physical shape and has confidence.

In fact, I've been more physically attracted to slightly out of shape women who were intelligent and confident (several female engineers I've worked with for example) over ding bat bimbos with tight butts.
Some women just have faces that only a mother could love though.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Plymouth, MN
308 posts, read 729,833 times
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people need to keep themselves in shape - that like 60% of the looks. it boosts confidence and self esteem too.

who cares what your face looks like when you have a body of a goddess? hit the gym ladies.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Florida
18,290 posts, read 18,533,242 times
Reputation: 20965
I have known a few truely ugly women and many others that just weren't very good looking.
Funny, they all seemed to have found nice men that had average to good looks themselves.
Maybe there's something to the old "When you're second best, you try harder"....as it applies to so many of those born very good looking and raised to believe that's all they needed to be.
So many parents, as well as the rest of the world, comment continously when a child is "so cute" "so pretty" "so adorable".
It's more difficult in the teen years when other kids are looking to boost their own insecurities by finding fault with others but eases after that.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,457 posts, read 16,408,211 times
Reputation: 13154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I always find it funny when people say they USED to be ugly. It's like that movie, I forgot the name, where she goes from nerdy to 'beautiful', when I thought she was just as attractive nerdy. Sure, some of it is fashion and makeup, but I think most of it is basic genetic structure.

Why is thinness always equated with beauty? The two are separate. I've seen beautiful fat women and ugly thin women.
Well I'm one of those people who says that and looking back I don't think I was that ugly but people told me that all the time and how else do you gauge what you look like except by the reactions of others? What I want to know is, when anyone looks in the mirror, what do they see? Because for the life of me, I don't think I truly know what I look like. Every time I look in the mirror, I see something different but most of the time, at least when I'm fixed up with makeup on, I look pretty good. What about those of you who think you're ugly--what do you see?

I think though as thinness becomes a rarer commodity these days, it becomes more in demand and I truly think that it's the single best thing you can do to make yourself more attractive, besides fixing your teeth I mean. What's sad is those people who have a bone structure that would keep them from looking attractive even when thin, but even then it's better than letting yourself get fat. And then as you get older a nice body is even more attractive and an ugly face becomes less of an issue. There is a man in my dance group who has a really nice body and an almost ugly face, or so I thought at first but it didn't take me long to think I wanted to date him--but he's not attracted to me. I am plump but not fat and I have trouble getting dates and when I lose weight I can def tell that I get more attractive to men but maybe that's a confidence thing too.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:46 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
Reputation: 11862
To me ugly means an ugly face. The proportions might just look wrong, not pleasing to the eye, too masculine, face shape, eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, ears, hair - it's everything but it's more than the sum of the parts. If anything I'm most fussy about faces. I can overlook bodily 'imperfections' much more easily. Her face has to make me melt.
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