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Old 08-05-2012, 11:37 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 4,268,427 times
Reputation: 1941

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therapist is not going to help her. they will make the situation worse. some will tell you that you are unattractive
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Old 08-05-2012, 11:54 PM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,208,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
therapist is not going to help her. they will make the situation worse. some will tell you that you are unattractive
Wow,did that happen to you and a therapist?
I consider therapists a waste of money,even though I have health insurance.
Well,maybe I shall give it a try.

But regarding the post before yours,I'm not obese,just overweight and I'm neat and clean,shower everyday.
But my face is grotesque and hard looking,because I notice people are taken aback when they see me.
I have a heavy brow bone. To be honest,I look similar to Australian Aborigines.
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Old 08-05-2012, 11:57 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 4,268,427 times
Reputation: 1941
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Wow,did that happen to you and a therapist?
I consider therapists a waste of money,even though I have health insurance.
Well,maybe I shall give it a try.

But regarding the post before yours,I'm not obese,just overweight and I'm neat and clean,shower everyday.
But my face is grotesque and hard looking,because I notice people are taken aback when they see me.
I have a heavy brow bone. To be honest,I look similar to Australian Aborigines.
no that never happened to me before. but I have spoken to several people online who said that their therapist told them that they were unattractive and gave them ways to cope with it. it wasn't the most helpful approach

i mean its pretty embarassing to go to a therapist and say yeah I am depressed because I am not light enough/pretty enough...they may say something that I don't want to hear. or they may not be experienced with black women who are going through what I am experiencing. in the black community they are always talking about this stupid strong black woman b.s. mental health issues are not taken seriously. you are just considered weak. so my issues are just harder to deal with
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Old 08-05-2012, 11:59 PM
 
Location: My House
33,058 posts, read 26,870,396 times
Reputation: 24400
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Wow,did that happen to you and a therapist?
I consider therapists a waste of money,even though I have health insurance.
Well,maybe I shall give it a try.

But regarding the post before yours,I'm not obese,just overweight and I'm neat and clean,shower everyday.
But my face is grotesque and hard looking,because I notice people are taken aback when they see me.
I have a heavy brow bone. To be honest,I look similar to Australian Aborigines.
OP?

I'll take you at your word. Still, as a parent? I'm apalled that your family would treat you so terribly.

Go see a therapist. You should interview some and find one you trust.

I think it would help you. Honest.

I know it may seem like I've strongly disagreed with you here. I do not disagree with plastic surgery in general.

I just think a person needs to be honest and realistic about why they're getting it. That's all.

I think the right therapist could help you make an informed decision.
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:02 AM
 
Location: My House
33,058 posts, read 26,870,396 times
Reputation: 24400
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
therapist is not going to help her. they will make the situation worse. some will tell you that you are unattractive
What. On. Earth???

You cannot be serious.

I have had (and still do have) friends from a variety of ethic backgrounds.

None of the black women I'm close to have EVER mentioned some of the things you mention here.

I don't even know how to begin to reply.
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:07 AM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 4,268,427 times
Reputation: 1941
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
What. On. Earth???

You cannot be serious.

I have had (and still do have) friends from a variety of ethic backgrounds.

None of the black women I'm close to have EVER mentioned some of the things you mention here.

I don't even know how to begin to reply.
Maybe they are lighter skinned and more privileged which is why it never came up
I know in real life I wouldn't talk about my issues with anybody especially someone of a different race
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:22 AM
 
Location: My House
33,058 posts, read 26,870,396 times
Reputation: 24400
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
Maybe they are lighter skinned and more privileged which is why it never came up
I know in real life I wouldn't talk about my issues with anybody especially someone of a different race
Nah. Variety of complexions. One that springs to mind (we hung out quite a bit together when we were younger) was from a large family. Seven kids. All different shades of brown. Some quite dark. Some very light. Same mom. Same dad.

My friend was fairly dark, but she rarely hung out with black women outside her family. They were wealthy and attended private schools. She was often accused of not being "black" enough.


I'm confident she would've mentioned the seedy underbelly of fierce discrimination. If it existed.

And I live in a Southern state.

Granted, I do realize Halle Berry types are more accepted in the mainstream than the Williams sisters.

For us white girls, it's centerfolds and supermodels.

Be yourself. Someone will appreciate it. Besides, it's who you are.
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Old 08-06-2012, 01:01 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,208,781 times
Reputation: 7485
Then,out of all this,comes this study:

(Not sure how to post the link,but here goes)

MSN.com.
Research suggests unattractive women more likely to chose careers over marriage.

Or this
Don't marry career women.com/wordpress
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Old 08-06-2012, 05:05 AM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 4,268,427 times
Reputation: 1941
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
Nah. Variety of complexions. One that springs to mind (we hung out quite a bit together when we were younger) was from a large family. Seven kids. All different shades of brown. Some quite dark. Some very light. Same mom. Same dad.

My friend was fairly dark, but she rarely hung out with black women outside her family. They were wealthy and attended private schools. She was often accused of not being "black" enough.


I'm confident she would've mentioned the seedy underbelly of fierce discrimination. If it existed.

And I live in a Southern state.

Granted, I do realize Halle Berry types are more accepted in the mainstream than the Williams sisters.

For us white girls, it's centerfolds and supermodels.

Be yourself. Someone will appreciate it. Besides, it's who you are.
Do you think all black women experiences are monolithic?

I am so sick of the "oh I know a black girl and she NEVER went through that" syndrome, like we all experience the same thing. Of course if she is from a very privileged background like I mentioned in my earlier post to you, her experience is going to be different from black women that are from lower and middle class backgrounds.

mehwhatever, your post is classic racism. And I really don't appreciate you rubbing this black woman's wealthy background in my face. How many people in general are wealthy? Not many. You are using every tactic you can to invalidate my experience as a black woman.
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Old 08-06-2012, 09:05 AM
 
Location: My House
33,058 posts, read 26,870,396 times
Reputation: 24400
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
Do you think all black women experiences are monolithic?

I am so sick of the "oh I know a black girl and she NEVER went through that" syndrome, like we all experience the same thing. Of course if she is from a very privileged background like I mentioned in my earlier post to you, her experience is going to be different from black women that are from lower and middle class backgrounds.

mehwhatever, your post is classic racism. And I really don't appreciate you rubbing this black woman's wealthy background in my face. How many people in general are wealthy? Not many. You are using every tactic you can to invalidate my experience as a black woman.
Actually? You started it.

You implied that my friends must all be light skinned and/or unwilling to discuss their thoughts with my whitey self.

Your comment prompted me to give you an example. I never said that ALL dark skinned women felt that way.

I just refuted your original claim.

Sorry. I don't do the racist thing. I absolutely don't give a damn what a person's racial/ethnic background is, unless it matters to them.

Furthermore, I don't know enough about you to know if you're poor or not. I assume, based on your response, that you're not wealthy.

It's fascinating that you've now concluded that the experiences of wealthy black women are irrelevant, though.

Shall I bother to give you an example or two from some poorer, dark skinned black women I've known, or will their experiences be irrelevant because we live in the south or because they were or were not married?

If you see my comments in anything but a conversational manner, you're reading entirely too much into them.
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