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Old 07-23-2012, 06:27 AM
 
Location: Up North
3,404 posts, read 7,254,275 times
Reputation: 3036

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
The point is that you had the option of someone helping you through school,I didn't. But thanks for mentioning it,or rather bragging.




Btw I am an Rn,have been for 8 years. But I was stuck on the option of furthuring my degree or looks.
So,even though I have had a career since 22(I'm now 30),I'm focused on making myself happy.
You probably never had to go through cashiers,teachers,co workers,and family being rude to you based on looks.
That is the main thing for me. Its not that I'm vain,and I wouldn't even ask this question if people were ignoring me. But people had to ridicule me. That takes it on a whole different level.
I've asked God,cried my eyes out to him,prayed,everything to make it stop and make me grow into a beautiful women. It didn't happen.
I done the whole"project confidence,think positive bull---t" nothing happened. Put on makeup,lost weight,gained weight,worked 2 jobs,got a career, nothing changed. Smiled all day long,nothing.

Its hard for me to fathom how you just believe you are not good looking.
I can imagine that wearing scrubs 4 or 5 days a week would make me feel invisible at times as well.

If you really think surgery would make you happier and you are satisfied with your level of education, then go for it.

But may I suggest running, weights at the gym, and even zumba or yoga classes. Excercise has not only made me look better, but it also combats depression and anxiety when practiced regularly.

You probably already know this as a nurse, but for anyone else who may be reading hopefully it will be of some help.

Do you wear make-up? I swear, well-applied MAC make-up can make anyone look like a model. The workers are make-up artists and can teach you how to apply and what shades work on you. Lastly, swagger and real confidence. So many average and even obese women who have this confidence and swagger seem to get tons of attention.
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Old 07-23-2012, 06:42 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,212,024 times
Reputation: 7485
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain View Post
Don't you care what caliber of men you date? Do you have respect for these men? Would you EVER choose to live with such a man?

Some women live in eternal fear that they will not 'catch' a man. WHY?

I think women must have some self respect. I think men who are intimidated by intelligent women are not worth much in the first place and probably deserve the kind of woman and marriage that they end up with. Have you seen the sort of marriages these guys end up in? Usually boring, no?

I don't know, I think I would risk being single all my life than ending up with a guy who was intimidated by my thinking. You know, there are a lot of smart women who are married and they don't have to play down their intelligence to do it. There are some brilliant men in the world who are very self assured and not so easily intimidated. I know.

Just take a look at the poor women in politics who are subjected to comments about their looks even though they are highly educated and very intelligent.
Come to think of it,I see more people attacking their looks than actually talking about the politician's actions.
I don't remember the last country Hillary Clinton was at because I didn't hear it in the news,but know how she ages and the tyoe of pantsuits she wears,and that's only because that's what I hear the media talking about.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:30 AM
 
3,517 posts, read 5,443,013 times
Reputation: 5566
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Just take a look at the poor women in politics who are subjected to comments about their looks even though they are highly educated and very intelligent.
Come to think of it,I see more people attacking their looks than actually talking about the politician's actions.
I don't remember the last country Hillary Clinton was at because I didn't hear it in the news,but know how she ages and the tyoe of pantsuits she wears,and that's only because that's what I hear the media talking about.
And? Who cares if people think they look like beauty queens or gargoyles, they are still in positions of power which they earned through hard work and intelligence, positions they're capable of actually being good at because they have the education to back it up. What high up political positions have past Miss America and Miss USA winners been offered? None? Because being really, really ridiculously good looking is only one unnecessary rung on a very long ladder.

I would much rather be the ugly woman in power than the pretty woman waiting around for people to give me things.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:49 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,212,024 times
Reputation: 7485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pear Martini View Post
Its hard for me to fathom how you just believe you are not good looking.
I can imagine that wearing scrubs 4 or 5 days a week would make me feel invisible at times as well.

If you really think surgery would make you happier and you are satisfied with your level of education, then go for it.

But may I suggest running, weights at the gym, and even zumba or yoga classes. Excercise has not only made me look better, but it also combats depression and anxiety when practiced regularly.

You probably already know this as a nurse, but for anyone else who may be reading hopefully it will be of some help.

Do you wear make-up? I swear, well-applied MAC make-up can make anyone look like a model. The workers are make-up artists and can teach you how to apply and what shades work on you. Lastly, swagger and real confidence. So many average and even obese women who have this confidence and swagger seem to get tons of attention.
I thought about wearing uniform dresses and form fitting nursing uniforms with pants,but idk if that's inappropiate.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:58 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
5,057 posts, read 7,268,202 times
Reputation: 3492
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
You never heard od patients complaining of nurses not smiling enough or complain about the fat nurse?
I have,but I think its due to more to the switch over of most hospitals from patient care to customer service.
I work in homecare,and let's just say some families don't have any manners.
Of course I have heard patients & families complain about every stupid little thing possible, especially so they can put the blame on you, the nurse, so they don't have to take responsibility for their own health. It's their choice, their life, but it's my responsibility to serve, to do my job.

Bottom line for me. God created me. I'm the apple of his eye. I'm his chosen daughter. All I have to do is please him. And everything else will fall into place. I'm not responsible for someone else's reaction, comments, choices or decisions. On the job, I treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are, from the world famous neurosurgeon to the housekeeper.

But.....and here's the clincher. I'm going to have big problems, IF I can not forgive others....people who hurt me with their words or actions. That includes those rude patients. It includes family & friends. It includes everyone. I have to clean up my side of the street first. If I'm stewing about what someone did to me, that tells me I haven't forgiven them. I could actually be wallowing in bitterness or self-pity which will keep me stuck there unless I deal with it. The number one reason for lack of healing is unforgiveness. I don't want to live there. Been there, done that. It is absolutely miserable. So you need to start by forgiving yourself, forgiving God, and forgiving others. I have a very good friend who has written some very helpful material on this subject. You can find it here: Life Application Ministries
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Old 07-23-2012, 11:32 PM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,212,024 times
Reputation: 7485
Quote:
Originally Posted by caligirlz View Post
Of course I have heard patients & families complain about every stupid little thing possible, especially so they can put the blame on you, the nurse, so they don't have to take responsibility for their own health. It's their choice, their life, but it's my responsibility to serve, to do my job.

Bottom line for me. God created me. I'm the apple of his eye. I'm his chosen daughter. All I have to do is please him. And everything else will fall into place. I'm not responsible for someone else's reaction, comments, choices or decisions. On the job, I treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are, from the world famous neurosurgeon to the housekeeper.

But.....and here's the clincher. I'm going to have big problems, IF I can not forgive others....people who hurt me with their words or actions. That includes those rude patients. It includes family & friends. It includes everyone. I have to clean up my side of the street first. If I'm stewing about what someone did to me, that tells me I haven't forgiven them. I could actually be wallowing in bitterness or self-pity which will keep me stuck there unless I deal with it. The number one reason for lack of healing is unforgiveness. I don't want to live there. Been there, done that. It is absolutely miserable. So you need to start by forgiving yourself, forgiving God, and forgiving others. I have a very good friend who has written some very helpful material on this subject. You can find it here: Life Application Ministries
I don't know if we are going off topic,but It does seem since I strated praying to God at 12 that's when all the taunts about looks started. But this is a very incredible burden to have,not being attractive.
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Old 07-24-2012, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Up North
3,404 posts, read 7,254,275 times
Reputation: 3036
jersey gal, I have trouble picturing you or any woman who hasn't reached her 60s yet being as darn unattractive as you claim. The taunting? Its starting to sound like social anxiety mixed in with poor self-image.

I would love to see a picture of you or at least get a description of what you look like but since this is the internet I totally understand not feeling okay about that.

My best friend is a beautiful natural curly blonde with a petite/athletic build and beautiful face and she has some of the worst self-esteem issues ever. Its almost like body dysmorphia. There is nothing I can do to help her. Every little thing that goes wrong in her love life she attributes to her looks, her lack of boobs, etc.

I really can't believe it, if she only could see herself clearly! She is smart and her family is solid and well-educated .

By the way, she is a Nurse Assistant and in Nursing school.

I have noticed a pattern among the seven or so nurses and NAs I know. They are all more insecure than the other women I know. Two of them have augmentations...but thats besides the point. Maybe it has something to do with wearing scrubs all day in a virtually all female environment?

As much as I can get annoyed by unwanted male attention...maybe sometimes we subconsciously feed on male attention and compliments throughout the day, as minor as it may be
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Old 07-24-2012, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,433 posts, read 24,210,764 times
Reputation: 24745
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I've been told by at least two different people that I would have been better off getting plastic surgery over getting my engineering degree.

So, I think it's a valid question.
Me too! If I had it to do over, I would go for vapid, brainless, and beautiful!
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Old 07-24-2012, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Up North
3,404 posts, read 7,254,275 times
Reputation: 3036
^^^^You live in Vegas. If I lived in Vegas I would probably opt for boobs instead of degree too
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Old 07-24-2012, 02:09 PM
 
3,517 posts, read 5,443,013 times
Reputation: 5566
Of course, this whole thread hinges on the assumption that plastic surgery will make you look better. Often, plastic surgery just makes you look like you've had plastic surgery.
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