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Have you explored alternate options to weight loss? It just seems like having a personal trainer might be a much better solution. Must less risk than plastic surgery.... overall better for your heal, and will help your looks.
Maybe he loves her and they are a team in a committed relationship?
Maybe he is twice her age, married, and pays her way through school to keep her as his booty call?
I was actually offered by a man twice my age to put me through school in Florida if I would have a relationship with him because his marriage had become cold. Guess what I did...
I said no and two years later the endowment at a private college in Boston is putting me through school.
Sleep with gross old men to go to State College in Florida and feel like I must be hot to have some random guy put me through college vs. Better myself in solid, tangible ways through hard work and go to a prestigious New England university for FREE.
I see this as a way to help you look at the bigger picture. Focus on making your life FULL and HAPPY and good things and people will come into your life.
No man can give you exactly what you want out of life, why settle for whoever is willing to put you through school when you can do it on your own and get the respect you deserve?
The point is that you had the option of someone helping you through school,I didn't. But thanks for mentioning it,or rather bragging.
Btw I am an Rn,have been for 8 years. But I was stuck on the option of furthuring my degree or looks.
So,even though I have had a career since 22(I'm now 30),I'm focused on making myself happy.
You probably never had to go through cashiers,teachers,co workers,and family being rude to you based on looks.
That is the main thing for me. Its not that I'm vain,and I wouldn't even ask this question if people were ignoring me. But people had to ridicule me. That takes it on a whole different level.
I've asked God,cried my eyes out to him,prayed,everything to make it stop and make me grow into a beautiful women. It didn't happen.
I done the whole"project confidence,think positive bull---t" nothing happened. Put on makeup,lost weight,gained weight,worked 2 jobs,got a career, nothing changed. Smiled all day long,nothing.
I will tell you,in my 8 years of nurses I have had patients respond
"What happened to the pretty nurse I had this morning?"
So don't tell me what happens when I work in the field.
Older nurses can't find work as nurses because no one wants to hire them.
There is the story about the Texas hospital that won't hire nurses with a Bmi over 35.
Don't tell me that look don't matter in Nursing when I'm on the front lines.
I've been a RN for 30+ years, am completely natural and I've NEVER had a problem getting a job. I have the best paying job I've ever had right now, and it's easily the easiest job I've ever had. If I wanted to change jobs, I can go anywhere, and work anywhere. I've always found that nurses are hired for their experience, knowledge and capacity to do the job. In my current job, I don't see that looks is a criteria for hiring since we have plenty of overweight, and older, and natural female RN's.
Edit: I just read the above post where you talked about the things you have done to deal with your options. I understand where you are coming from....a place full of pain, a place of rejection based on looks. Lots of people including myself, have to deal with rejection, for whatever reason, at some point in their lives. You said that you asked God to help you grow into a beautiful woman. I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but perhaps, a different prayer would be that God heal your pain, and help you to really accept his love. Doing so was hugely instrumental in my life and has turned my life upside down in a very positive way, a way I was completely unable to get to myself..... It really, really sounds to me like some deep soul searching, off line, is in order.
Last edited by caligirlz; 07-22-2012 at 11:36 PM..
Reason: clarification
Aside from the other stuff, but how does getting a degree= more pay?
I know in nursing the hospital down the hill pays nurses with a Bachelors in Nursing 25 cents more than Adn nurses.
I guess I wasn't thinking when I posted,but if I get a Masters in Nursing I would get paid $80,000 a year.
But the catch is most jobs in nursing are for staff nurses on med surg floors. Not too many hospitals would hire a nurses with a Master's degree in Nursing to do staff nursing. So in effect,I would lock myself out of where a majority of nursing jobs are.
I have to agree that hospitals do not pay well for higher education. I think only an administrator, nurse educator or advanced practice nurse would be rewarded financially for a higher education in the hospital setting. But only 80K for a Masters of Nursing!! That's peanuts!!! I make more than that and I don't even work in acute care.
I would suggest if you can, to transfer to one of the higher acuity units in your hospital (ICU, NICU, even OR/PACU, etc) and get some specialized training which will make you more marketable. You can always pursue a higher education on the side, because once you get sick of acute care (or have a few back injuries/surgeries like myself and can't work acute care anymore), you will need a minimum of a bachelors degree to get a good job. BTW, there are lots of great jobs out there that are NOT hospital based. I haven't worked in the hospital setting since 1999, and life is great on the other side.
I have to agree that hospitals do not pay well for higher education. I think only an administrator, nurse educator or advanced practice nurse would be rewarded financially for a higher education in the hospital setting. But only 80K for a Masters of Nursing!! That's peanuts!!! I make more than that and I don't even work in acute care.
I would suggest if you can, to transfer to one of the higher acuity units in your hospital (ICU, NICU, even OR/PACU, etc) and get some specialized training which will make you more marketable. You can always pursue a higher education on the side, because once you get sick of acute care (or have a few back injuries/surgeries like myself and can't work acute care anymore), you will need a minimum of a bachelors degree to get a good job. BTW, there are lots of great jobs out there that are NOT hospital based. I haven't worked in the hospital setting since 1999, and life is great on the other side.
You never heard od patients complaining of nurses not smiling enough or complain about the fat nurse?
I have,but I think its due to more to the switch over of most hospitals from patient care to customer service.
I work in homecare,and let's just say some families don't have any manners.
I've been a RN for 30+ years, am completely natural and I've NEVER had a problem getting a job. I have the best paying job I've ever had right now, and it's easily the easiest job I've ever had. If I wanted to change jobs, I can go anywhere, and work anywhere. I've always found that nurses are hired for their experience, knowledge and capacity to do the job. In my current job, I don't see that looks is a criteria for hiring since we have plenty of overweight, and older, and natural female RN's.
Edit: I just read the above post where you talked about the things you have done to deal with your options. I understand where you are coming from....a place full of pain, a place of rejection based on looks. Lots of people including myself, have to deal with rejection, for whatever reason, at some point in their lives. You said that you asked God to help you grow into a beautiful woman. I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but perhaps, a different prayer would be that God heal your pain, and help you to really accept his love. Doing so was hugely instrumental in my life and has turned my life upside down in a very positive way, a way I was completely unable to get to myself..... It really, really sounds to me like some deep soul searching, off line, is in order.
I never thought about asking God to heal the pain,thanks for the suggestion.
I know the question may seem silly to some,but I was told the same thing.
Getting my And hasn't made me any happier than I thought it would.
I thought guys liked a woman who was pursuing an education,but I was wrong.
All on these forums,the men actually said they don't care about a womans educational achievement,how much money she makes,if she ain't attractive,she ain't attractive and having those things won't make her more of a viable mate.
There was a thread on here that someone asked a question: would you take woman A,who makes six figures,highly traveled,has great conversation,a sense of humor,a Phd from Harvard. but is not attractive.
Or
Woman B,who is attractive,unemployed,lives with Mommy and Daddy,and is shy.
Most of the men picked B.(the thread had the pics of the women on there).
I would not make such a decision based on what men think of you. Make the decision on how much self respect you will have.
Men with money sure like pretty women, but the guys who are smart (who'd want a stupid one?) do not marry a pretty face lacking the ability to be self supporting. In today's divorce environment that would be really dumb.
Get your higher education. Later on, when you get that higher salary, you can get cosmetic surgery.
I just think it's a matter of personal values and how superficial you might be.
Any guy who marries you will eventually have to deal with your aging, won't he? Would you really respect a man if he were all that shallow?
So yeah, being pretty gives you more opportunities than being plain with education. As for dating, the vast majority of men couldn't care less if you have an education or a good job. In fact, I usually don't tell guys what I do, or the amount of education I have because they almost immediately become disinterested. Telling a guy you're a mechanic with an engineering degree seems like a death wish when it comes to dating as a woman.
Don't you care what caliber of men you date? Do you have respect for these men? Would you EVER choose to live with such a man?
Some women live in eternal fear that they will not 'catch' a man. WHY?
I think women must have some self respect. I think men who are intimidated by intelligent women are not worth much in the first place and probably deserve the kind of woman and marriage that they end up with. Have you seen the sort of marriages these guys end up in? Usually boring, no?
I don't know, I think I would risk being single all my life than ending up with a guy who was intimidated by my thinking. You know, there are a lot of smart women who are married and they don't have to play down their intelligence to do it. There are some brilliant men in the world who are very self assured and not so easily intimidated. I know.
Aside from the other stuff, but how does getting a degree= more pay?
I know in nursing the hospital down the hill pays nurses with a Bachelors in Nursing 25 cents more than Adn nurses.
I guess I wasn't thinking when I posted,but if I get a Masters in Nursing I would get paid $80,000 a year.
But the catch is most jobs in nursing are for staff nurses on med surg floors. Not too many hospitals would hire a nurses with a Master's degree in Nursing to do staff nursing. So in effect,I would lock myself out of where a majority of nursing jobs are.
I would suspect that in the future we will require more and more nurses. Are you young enough to need a continuing career in nursing?
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