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Old 10-09-2007, 07:43 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,613 posts, read 42,779,610 times
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You can do as you please, of course. But just walk into any mall or grocery store and see how many women are totally clueless about how their hair looks.
I think that, usually, long hair on anyone over a certain age looks just sad...like they think if it looked good when they were 18, it still does. There are a few exceptions like Jane Seymore or Sheryl Crow, but you probably don't have the same team of experts working on you.
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Old 10-09-2007, 07:44 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,453,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anneanne View Post
I'm over 45 and have hair at about bra length. I really like my long hair. However, my stylist and others keep telling me that long hair does nothing for me and that I really should get it cut short. If I want to be painfully honest, I know that short hair probably would look best on me. But I also really love long hair on myself.

Should I cut it because, ultimately, that's probably what looks best, or should I keep my hair the way it is, because that's just how I really like it?
i am poorly qualified first i lost it on top then it was in to shave it so i did.
but i bet yours looks great.

stephen s
san diego ca
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Old 10-10-2007, 03:57 AM
 
Location: Maryland Eastern Shore
969 posts, read 2,461,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
.like they think if it looked good when they were 18, it still does. .
Great point! - I wish gravity was an option
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Old 10-10-2007, 07:56 AM
 
1,005 posts, read 1,390,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
You can do as you please, of course. But just walk into any mall or grocery store and see how many women are totally clueless about how their hair looks.
I think that, usually, long hair on anyone over a certain age looks just sad...like they think if it looked good when they were 18, it still does. There are a few exceptions like Jane Seymore or Sheryl Crow, but you probably don't have the same team of experts working on you.
Hi Gentle -

Yes, there's definitely truth to this & it is one of the reasons many see professionals for advice. But, as many people exercise, eat well & have fun, positive attitudes, not all of us are washed up at 35 & need to begin dressing "old". I know many well-toned, young-looking men/women over 40 & 50. We can't dismiss that there is a comfort level that is very important. Many of us see what we feel is unattractive on ourselves or others, for any host of reasons, but someone who's always worn hole-filled jeans & sneakers (because of their job/lifestyle) probably won't be comfortable in a Hugo Boss suit & John Fluevog shoes & will in fact project that feeling very strongly no matter how gorgeous he'd look to the rest of us. His discomfort is what makes him look "wrong". Recently, I noticed the egg-shape of a woman standing next to me in line, only because she was so uncomfortable with her body & self-consciously tugged at her waisteline every few seconds while nervously glancing around at other's smaller frames. She was very distracting, I could see how uneasy & embarassed she was (Recent weight gain? Comparing herself to the thinner girls standing around her? "Overweight" comments from co-workers/friends/spouse?) & I wouldn't ordinarily have taken such notice had she not given off such a level of discomfort. In fact, everyone in line was staring at her as she was so figity & carried such anxiety. But, I've seen many more older women look fabulous & project a feeling of comfortableness in their own skin.

Some women have never worn form-fitting clothing, although they've certainly the figure for it, as they'd never be comfortable. Alternatively, this summer I've certainly seen plenty of sized-22 women stuff themselves into size-14, low-rise jeans with a crop top. There's enough of the latter, that one can wonder how some size 4's see "heavy" in the mirror & a size-22 sees "svelte", but some will follow fads, for better or worse, richer or poorer, famous or not & that won't change. Some dress dowdy, making themselves look far older than their years, or wear colors that don't flatter their assets. Others can buy a cheap smock & shoes from Target, belt it up nicely, wear it with flair & look like they shop at Saks.

It is certainly difficult to advise anyone sight unseen or for that matter sometimes to advise at all, as we all have differing opinions & preferences. If you ask all the women on this forum what they find attractive in another, there'd be many varying & opposing opinions. I've worked with or been friends with a handful of women who hit 40, chopped all their hair off into a rather boyish style, stopped wearing make-up & took up wearing ill-fitting khaki pants, lace-up flats, parkas & blue button down shirts, all the time. I personally don't find this a flattering look, but perhaps their opinion of 40-yr old women is they "should" look this way & they seem comfortable with their choices. It's not my place to harangue them into looking a way I feel they'd look best. Others always stay the same. Others periodically change their appearance. However, not everyone needs to make drastic changes or is an old, rumpled handbag at 35, 45 or even 55 & not everyone needs to be a trained, licensed pro to do beautiful styling on themselves. I know a teenager who does all styles of gorgeous make-up on anyone & is untrained. I also know women who are licensed pros & I find their look frightful. It's hard for me to control my look of shock when I see them turn a corner, decked out in their uncomplimentary, neon-green, faddish designer suit; 70's, dyed-black retro hairdo that would be tough to pull off at 1/2 their age & frosted, sparkly make-up that wouldn't enhance anyone's best features. Sure, there are plenty of every "category" about.

That being said, "few exceptions" you say? I completely disagree, but perhaps we live in vastly different communities or travel to different locales? In my travels I've certainly seen my share of men & women who have no idea how to dress themselves up nicely or wear "age appropriate", body-style appropriate, flattering syles, in hair/make-up/clothing. I see far more of all ages/genders/ethnicities of beautiful men & women daily - nicely dressed & styled in what best suits their personal attractiveness. Not all are drop-dead gorgeous, but their flair, comfort-level & sense of what looks best of them makes them lovely to see. I also see folks who don't place much emphasis on the way they look & that is the way they've always been & always will be, no matter their age.

If a handful of folks make suggestions that you'd look best in something else, one can listen & consider the advice, because there may be some basis for offering helpful suggestion. But modifications can be utilized, meaning you don't need to go from elbow-length hair to cropped to suit someone else's opinions on your hair texture, color or age. Comments are not always in one's best interests, there are awful professionals in every field (look at the highly paid team of stylists that work on some celebrities & the results - yeesh!) & jealous, pushy friends are not an unheard of phenomenom. Listen, but consider the source. I hear what you're saying. A gorgeous 20-yr old who takes care of her/himself will be still beautiful at 50, just older. Some folks have a modest attractiveness, unusual body/face/head shape that one can only do so much to enhance. Let's face it, no huge team of pros is going to get Woody Allen to look even remotely like Brad Pitt. It doesn't mean to give up or give in to what others always feel is best for our look. It also doesn't mean to stay at home because one's not Brad Pitt.

Perhaps Anne might be projecting a level of discomfort or unknowing with her hairstyle & her hairdresser & friends are picking up on this & trying to help out? Perhaps she's ready for a modification & it doesn't necessarily need to be a drastic change? I think many people would look good in a variety of ways. Many certainly have dressy clothes, casual clothes & business clothes that are all "our style" & sometimes we all fall into ruts & need a boost. But, bangs, slight fringes, wearing hair off the face, wearing hair "up" or soft layering can make a huge difference, drastically change one's look & pull one out of a rut. It doesn't necessarily mean going from one definite style to a severe change in length, style or color. Slight modifications often give a boost to one's self-confidence & image & it's felt by everyone around us.

Have fun with your many choices... VV

Last edited by Baltic_Celt; 10-10-2007 at 08:06 AM..
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Maryland Eastern Shore
969 posts, read 2,461,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
But just walk into any mall or grocery store and see how many women are totally clueless about how their hair looks.
I think that, usually, long hair on anyone over a certain age looks just sad...like they think if it looked good when they were 18, it still does.
Excellent post.

I also bet when you see someone who you think has a nice hairdo - it ISN'T hanging limply around their face
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Old 10-10-2007, 01:35 PM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,567,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anneanne View Post
I'm over 45 and have hair at about bra length. I really like my long hair. However, my stylist and others keep telling me that long hair does nothing for me and that I really should get it cut short. If I want to be painfully honest, I know that short hair probably would look best on me. But I also really love long hair on myself.

Should I cut it because, ultimately, that's probably what looks best, or should I keep my hair the way it is, because that's just how I really like it?
How about a compromise between short and long, going to mid length?
You get the change of pace everyone needs once in a while, getting to try something different and new, but in the meantime not sacrificing to much hair in the process.
Sometimes it's refreshing to do something new, and that could be for you.
If you don't like it, just let it grow back to the lenght you are secure, familiar and happy with.
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Old 10-11-2007, 05:22 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,613 posts, read 42,779,610 times
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Kittens.. time for some decaf.
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Old 10-12-2007, 10:57 AM
 
1,005 posts, read 1,390,345 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Kittens.. time for some decaf.
LOL Nothing wrong with an open mind & a little caffeine...
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Old 10-12-2007, 12:08 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,402 posts, read 11,987,558 times
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Has anyone never heard the phrase "a women's long hair is her crown and glory" ?

I know long hair is old fashioned. I know that new spikey, layered, feathered, teased, fluffed or cropped hairstyles are the "in", but do you really want to look like everyone else?

I wouldn't go around sporting a mohawk... but I wouldn't go around trying to imitate everyone else either. my hair is just about down to my waist line. it's red, and wavy, and I streak gold/blond light highlights into it. I don't think anyone else has hair that long where I work... but if I couldn't stand in the sun and see my profile with long curly hair down my back blowing in the wind outside... I think I would feel very un-feminine.

On a completely different side-note, there are face shapes and body shapes and such... that truly compliment particular sorts of hairstyles and lengths of hair cuts. I've been short, I've been long. I prefer long, go with what makes you feel special!! As kitten's purr said in her above post... people can be there to gently give their opinion, but it is merely that. The most important thing is what makes you feel the best.

If I really looked better with a bob-cut jet black hair or what not.. but cried and wanted to put a paperbag over my head when I was done... whether it did wonders for my face or not astheticly, would it really have been the best choice?

Just my 2 cents
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Old 10-13-2007, 08:56 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,475 posts, read 33,447,811 times
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I'm 48 and still wear my hair long. I tried short when I was young and didn't like it. If I slept wrong, I had cowlicks in the morning. With long, I have the option of tying it back. Long hair is also less maintenance and means no trips to the hairdresser for me. Maybe it's also okay for me because I am Asian. I also have a few highlights in my hair for fun and to disguise the grays that are starting to appear.

And since my boyfriend loves my long hair also, so it's here to stay for a while longer.
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