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Old 08-26-2012, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Bethesda, MD
810 posts, read 786,378 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
I am an AA woman as well and I have noticed this, but only among other African Americans...men in particular.

I used to be a lot heavier (size 14) than I am now at a size 4". I got sick and tired of being fat and out of shape, so after my last child I decided to get the weight off. What should have been a positive experience turned negative because of comments I got from friends and family. I can't tell you how many told me that I shouldn't get too thin because "black women are supposed to be bigger". I think thats the biggest crock of sh*t I've ever heard in my life. I was/am married and my hubby loves me at the size I am now, especially. However, other black men in my life told me that if I got too small my hubby would leave me because "black men like their women thick" and "only white women should be skinny".

Thank God I didn't listen to any of those idiots, otherwise I might be a size 20 by now. Unfortunately, a lot of black women buy into the hype, which is one of the reasons heart disease and diabetes is so prevalent among African American women.

Keep eating healthy/exercising to maintain your size as long as YOU are happy.
It's unfortunate that you were told, '...only white women should be skinny.' That particular mind-set definitely contributes to the high rate of obesity amongst black women.
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:29 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 1,525,388 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
I am an AA woman as well and I have noticed this, but only among other African Americans...men in particular.

I used to be a lot heavier (size 14) than I am now at a size 4". I got sick and tired of being fat and out of shape, so after my last child I decided to get the weight off. What should have been a positive experience turned negative because of comments I got from friends and family. I can't tell you how many told me that I shouldn't get too thin because "black women are supposed to be bigger". I think thats the biggest crock of sh*t I've ever heard in my life. I was/am married and my hubby loves me at the size I am now, especially. However, other black men in my life told me that if I got too small my hubby would leave me because "black men like their women thick" and "only white women should be skinny".

Thank God I didn't listen to any of those idiots, otherwise I might be a size 20 by now. Unfortunately, a lot of black women buy into the hype, which is one of the reasons heart disease and diabetes is so prevalent among African American women.

Keep eating healthy/exercising to maintain your size as long as YOU are happy.
Not to derail the thread, but how did you get the weight off? I had a baby 11 months ago. I'm still breastfeeding, but have had a really hard time trying to lose the baby weight. I would love to lose 10-12 pounds, and then I'll be satisfied, but I don't know how to get it off. When I wean my baby I'm going to start back dieting. Any advice? I'm really unhappy with the weight loss so far, I've tried virtually everything and the weight didn't really come off. I chalked it up to nursing, and will try after.
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:32 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 1,525,388 times
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My so has made jokes about what he would do if I got to thin. He likes thicker women as well. I guess black men as a whole tend to like "thicker" women, but certainly not obese(at least not the ones I know). I think certain subsets of black men may like black women who are very overweight, but amongst professional black males while they look "thicker" black women, usually they draw the line at a certain point. I guess because I'm not a super thin black women I don't know what the criticisms are. At my smallest I was a size 4(what I'd like to be again) and I did get a ton of flack from people, but I didn't really think much into it. I was never told that being thin was for "white women" though. I don't know... OP is it black men or black women that make you feel bad about your weight?
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:38 PM
 
706 posts, read 913,064 times
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I completely changed the kind of foods I ate as well as my mindset about food. I think you get the most success with weight loss when you stop thinking of it as dieting and more like a total lifestyle change. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. I cut out all fried foods, a lot of sweets, breads, white flour, rice/pasta and ate more lean meats, whole grains, fruits and veggies. I also decided that I wanted to start training and competing as a figure competitor, so that gave me more motivation to shed the weight.

I also had to come to terms with the fact that I was an emotional eater and ate when I was bored or worried. Once I found ways to combat that, it got easier.

10-12 pounds is really not a lot to lose...even at 2 ponds a week. You could definitely get it off if you commit to it.
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Up North
3,404 posts, read 7,260,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly1224 View Post
Perhaps, you're right. My mom has told me that I'm very thin. I've become a bit self conscious about it, but I would never want to be thick with a big bottom.

Anyhow, this just doesn't seem to be an issue for the Asian and white women that I know. If anything, they seem far more comfortable being thin.

No..but they have the opposite problem. White women are the largest group with anorexia and bulimia. They have pressure to be skinny...while other groups have pressure to be "womanly".

White women in US with beyonce or shakira figures are rarely celebrated...it's only the slim ones with little or no muscle definition. It must suck to be one of the people who constantly see any little bit of extra meet on them as fat.
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:43 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 1,525,388 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pear Martini View Post
No..but they have the opposite problem. White women are the largest group with anorexia and bulimia. They have pressure to be skinny...while other groups have pressure to be "womanly".

White women in US with beyonce or shakira figures are rarely celebrated...it's only the slim ones with little or no muscle definition. It must suck to be one of the people who constantly see any little bit of extra meet on them as fat.
I agree with this.
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:44 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 1,525,388 times
Reputation: 823
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
I completely changed the kind of foods I ate as well as my mindset about food. I think you get the most success with weight loss when you stop thinking of it as dieting and more like a total lifestyle change. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. I cut out all fried foods, a lot of sweets, breads, white flour, rice/pasta and ate more lean meats, whole grains, fruits and veggies. I also decided that I wanted to start training and competing as a figure competitor, so that gave me more motivation to shed the weight.

I also had to come to terms with the fact that I was an emotional eater and ate when I was bored or worried. Once I found ways to combat that, it got easier.

10-12 pounds is really not a lot to lose...even at 2 ponds a week. You could definitely get it off if you commit to it.
And I know this. I know I definitely have to change my eating. Did you eat a certain amount of calories, or you just changed how you were eating without counting calories, etc?
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:46 PM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,998 posts, read 5,496,519 times
Reputation: 3619
As being a skinny twig until about age 22 (now I'm more beyonce like in shape but still small) i was never made fun of for my size by OTHER races. In fact they boosted my self esteem by telling me what a great size I was,going shopping (ESP high end dresses) was a dream ! However black people made fun of me from childhood to finally college , it made me sad and depressed but then I realized according to society I have a great body and they don't
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:52 PM
 
706 posts, read 913,064 times
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I didn't really count calories. The only time I worry about doing that is when I'm prepping for a show.

I watched portion sizes though. For meats, I only ate about 4-5 ounces at any given meal. If you're having rice or other carbs, I think about a cup of whatever it is a safe amount. Eat to feel satisfied vs. stuffed.
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Old 08-26-2012, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Bethesda, MD
810 posts, read 786,378 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunkisses87 View Post
My so has made jokes about what he would do if I got to thin. He likes thicker women as well. I guess black men as a whole tend to like "thicker" women, but certainly not obese(at least not the ones I know). I think certain subsets of black men may like black women who are very overweight, but amongst professional black males while they look "thicker" black women, usually they draw the line at a certain point. I guess because I'm not a super thin black women I don't know what the criticisms are. At my smallest I was a size 4(what I'd like to be again) and I did get a ton of flack from people, but I didn't really think much into it. I was never told that being thin was for "white women" though. I don't know... OP is it black men or black women that make you feel bad about your weight?
I just wish that black women didn't have the curvy/big butt stereotype. Thin/skinny black women tend to be shunned, while big bottom black women are praised. The same is not true for white and Asian women. You stated that when you were a size 4, you received a lot of flack from people. Why do you suppose they had an issue with your weight?
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