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I'm black, 5'2, 116 lbs and a size 4. I changed jobs almost a year ago and the daily comments, skinny jokes and flat out insults about my size from my male and female coworkers have finally subsided. I have been told that the comments are "compliments" because every woman wants to be my size. One day one of my slightly obese male coworkers called me skinny and I felt the tears spring to my eyes which is when I realized I had enough and that I wanted them to realize how ignorant and hurtful it is commenting on my size day in and day out and being the butt of everybody's joke. I called him fat ass and asked him how it made him feel. I then went on to tell him that I know that I am small and it's not a compliment being the butt of everybody's comments and jokes.
Finally, they've stopped.
Good for you I dealt with this at my old job being the butt of short jokes. Unfortunately, employers will not approach situations like these like they would sexual harassment or racisim, so it's up to you to take the initiative and approach to tackle the ignorance. Many will take it as a joke.
There is an Asian woman at my job who is about your height and has a skinny build. She is the butt of jokes and the other female employees verbally bullies her everyday. She just sits there and takes it. It angers me to watch it go on.
Last edited by Walter002; 09-08-2012 at 04:25 AM..
Nope,its neither.
I think its a generational thing.
Just look back,way back into Roman times....the various statues.
The ideal was small breasts,large hips and butts. In medieval times,the slim figure with a thick waist was in style.
Then Victorian times,the hourglass figure.
In the 1920's,the skinny,thin women were in again.
In the 50s,the hourglass again. Then came Twiggy.
Then came the 90',large boobs,no butt,and really thin(Pam Anderson) ..now I hear men say she is disgusting. She was all the rage in the 90's.
Presently?Kim K,Beyonce,etc.
It's not a "generational thing" and it does have to do with one's socioeconomic background.
Wealthy women are still reed thin. Always have been and always will be. I am not referencing ancient times but modern times. A trim gamine and compact figure in women is highly valued in the upscale white and Asian communities, and increasingly, but at a slower pace; in the AA community of means.
I am not speaking about teenagers, but about adults. Society people, the country club set and those with old money, have for at least the last 100 years valued a slender and trim figure on women.
The people I speak about do not care about Beyonce or the Kardashians.
Even back in the 59s and early 60s this split exited. Lower middle class and working class men seem to prefer voluptuous figures, from the "Pin Up" girls on calendars that graced the working class males garage, to the hip-hop culture of today men with a lower income and education go for big boods and buts. There is also the example of obesity, which is a problem in the middle to lower classes, and not so much in the upper classes.
There is some acceptance of heavy women, and even celebration of heavy women in lower class communities. But if you go to a chic designer boutique on LA's Rodeo Drive, NYs 5th Avenue, Palm Beach FL or any other haunt of the truly elite, you will be hard pressed to find any thing in a size 10. Size 8 might be pushing it.
There is an old adage that in still repeated today "A woman can never be too rich or too thin".
There is pressure on upper middle and upper class women to maintain a lithe and slender frame.
Hollywood and Hip Hop will never change that.
The upper class black community is beginning to incorporate these ideals.
I'm Black American and naturally a size 2. I however notice that people tend to laud thin Asian and White women, but seem to take offense when Black women are thin as well. It's almost like, they expect every black woman to have thick thighs, a big behind and huge breasts. I'm just curious if anyone else has noticed this general attitude towards Black women? Why is it that thin black women are shunned, while thin Asian and White women are viewed as prizes?
Morning Lilly: I think you are worried unnecessarily about being so small. It is unfortunate that so much emphasis has been placed on the physical attributes of women in general. Doesn't matter what race a woman is anymore as much as it does what SIZE they are. Shame. I am an older white woman who has fought my weight my entire life. I have never seemed to have much trouble with dating men thru the years with the only exception being my first husband who LOVED all women and told me at one point that I was so fat he couldn't stand making love to me..nice huh? He was a total NIT WIT and I ended up leaving his butt anyhow.
If you feel you are being shunned then give that BIG personality most black women have a boost. I have a black friend who at one point was perhaps a size 2 and quite tall. She has quit smoking and is now a size 12 and is EXTREMELY happy with herself. She has always had a super big personality so size 2 or size 12..we all love her.
Have I noticed this attitude towards black women?? I have to say no, except for perhaps on the talk shows on TV but not in general. Love who you are, not what others want you to be and if you are a size 2 then that is how the Good Lord made you so embrace your tiny-ness like I have learned to embrace my "fluffy-ness"....
Good for you I dealt with this at my old job being the butt of short jokes. Unfortunately, employers will not approach situations like these like they would sexual harassment or racisim, so it's up to you to take the initiative and approach to tackle the ignorance. Many will take it as a joke.
There is an Asian woman at my job who is about your height and has a skinny build. She is the butt of jokes and the other female employees verbally bullies her everyday. She just sits there and takes it. It angers me to watch it go on.
I'm also short, so I get the combo version as well. The women who bully your co-worker do so because she doesn't defend or speak up for herself. Hopefully, one day she will. As for your comments about the employer? Dead on.
Morning Lilly: I think you are worried unnecessarily about being so small. It is unfortunate that so much emphasis has been placed on the physical attributes of women in general. Doesn't matter what race a woman is anymore as much as it does what SIZE they are. Shame. I am an older white woman who has fought my weight my entire life. I have never seemed to have much trouble with dating men thru the years with the only exception being my first husband who LOVED all women and told me at one point that I was so fat he couldn't stand making love to me..nice huh? He was a total NIT WIT and I ended up leaving his butt anyhow.
If you feel you are being shunned then give that BIG personality most black women have a boost. I have a black friend who at one point was perhaps a size 2 and quite tall. She has quit smoking and is now a size 12 and is EXTREMELY happy with herself. She has always had a super big personality so size 2 or size 12..we all love her.
Have I noticed this attitude towards black women?? I have to say no, except for perhaps on the talk shows on TV but not in general. Love who you are, not what others want you to be and if you are a size 2 then that is how the Good Lord made you so embrace your tiny-ness like I have learned to embrace my "fluffy-ness"....
most black women do NOT have a big personality. stop pushing stereotypes!!
I am suggesting that there is something wrong with you if you spend all day posting tons and tons of posts on a thread about black women's physical looks if you are white. It would be very bizarre if I spent my whole day arguing about tanning booths and bulldogging people into submission about my opinion about which on is best. That topic has nothing to do with me, and the only reason I would get on board with it is because I am a pathetic sad sack who loves to jump in and take swings at people if I believe I am superior. I would also venture to guess that most of these arguing white women on this thread are fat, because I am smelling a strong whiff of fattitude on this thread. So there you have a further explanation about my post, you are welcome.
I don't think anyone spends ALL day posting only on threads about black women's beauty (well, maybe Nyanna), we all post on a variety of topics.
I just don't like this attitude that you aren't allowed to comment on a subject if it isn't directly about you. We all give advice for situations we're not necessarily experts on, so saying "You're not black, you can't know!" only gets you so far.
I don't think anyone spends ALL day posting only on threads about black women's beauty (well, maybe Nyanna), we all post on a variety of topics.
I just don't like this attitude that you aren't allowed to comment on a subject if it isn't directly about you. We all give advice for situations we're not necessarily experts on, so saying "You're not black, you can't know!" only gets you so far.
Ha! On the thread "Your hair color and texture is wrong for your race." (a thread about black women's hair) the second most prolific poster is a white woman who posted all day. But oh yes, because you are white you don't notice the white female propensity for being a know-it-all about topics that are NOYB.
And of course you don't like my attitude. I am black and therefore should do and say as you wish, and if I don't, there goes that pesky black attitude again!
Ha! On the thread "Your hair color and texture is wrong for your race." (a thread about black women's hair) the second most prolific poster is a white woman who posted all day. But oh yes, because you are white you don't notice the white female propensity for being a know-it-all about topics that are NOYB.
And of course you don't like my attitude. I am black and therefore should do and say as you wish, and if I don't, there goes that pesky black attitude again!
No, because I, unlike you, don't take the actions of a single person as representative of their entire race.
It's an open forum. There's no such thing as none of your business. Live with it.
Ha! On the thread "Your hair color and texture is wrong for your race." (a thread about black women's hair) the second most prolific poster is a white woman who posted all day. But oh yes, because you are white you don't notice the white female propensity for being a know-it-all about topics that are NOYB.
And of course you don't like my attitude. I am black and therefore should do and say as you wish, and if I don't, there goes that pesky black attitude again!
How do you know I'm not black?
For the record,the OP of that thread isn't African American.
If you are talking about the other poster who mentioned drag,that poster is Hispanic.
No, because I, unlike you, don't take the actions of a single person as representative of their entire race.
It's an open forum. There's no such thing as none of your business. Live with it.
+1
I cannot stand when someone takes a comment as an affront to their entire race.
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