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Old 12-26-2012, 02:50 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,291,548 times
Reputation: 11862

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Because being told you're fat, or unattractive is basically the WORST thing a woman can be told. Being unattractive means undesirable and that doesn't just mean in a romantic way. That means being passed up for promotions, being ignored at functions, not being included in groups, being made fun of etc. I was bullied heavily in high school because of the way I looked and it took me YEARS to get over that. Even now, at 29 years old I still feel I never grew out of that awkward, pimply, gangly teenage phase where I had to drop out of school because of how horrible people were to me.

My ex boyfriend used to tell me I was looking 'plump' and guess what? He cheated on me multiple times with thinner women and rubbed it in my face after we broke up. I was rejected and humiliated solely because of the way I looked.
While women might be emancipated by law, I think this shows that some things are a lot harder to change...funnily enough, however, I think this 'objectification of women' is a fairly modern thing too. Yes, I do agree with the feminists that in the past women were sometimes treated as property (sometimes not always), but this women's self worth or worth to society equating to how good looking or sexy has gone way overboard, if you ask me. Notice how poorly some men treat ugly women? Some men don't respect women, they just like the gratification that a good looking woman does for them. They don't care about women as human beings, just a paid of **** and a vagina. In that sense I'm a feminist, even though some might think I'm a misogynist...Whatever though, the pressure must really be annoying. There was a recent article about our PM, who, if you don't know, is a woman. It criticised the fact that a lot of the media criticism of her was of her image, instead of her capability as a politician. Thankfully that phase is largely over, but it does show how society judges women on appearance more than men.
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Old 12-26-2012, 06:32 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,063,554 times
Reputation: 42372
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Not saying girls/women should just not care and stuff themselves silly, but I'm sick and tired about women obsessing about looks, weight.etc. It's like all they seem to talk about is looks, clothes, how fat they are (or, somewhat refreshingly, how skinny they are), how their boobs aren't big enough, their butt is too skinny/big. I've met some pretty intelligent women who make silly adolescent superficial comments about this and that being 'hot' and it makes them seem more sheeplike and irritating. I get it, it does take some effort to look 'hot and sexy' (what's with the obsession with being sexy? Pick up a copy of Cosmo or something and it's invariably about looking hot or sexy) but if you eat right, exercise, and not get obsessive over it (or diets or any of that crap) you're gonna look healthy and decent! Why do you obsess about having 'skinny thighs' and all that other crap? Stop reading these magazines that portray 'unrealistic women' then, stop buying into it!

Where can I find a women who isn't grossly overweight who isn't obsessed with looks? lol. I'm sure they're out there, but an annoyingly high percentage seem to be like this. Even fat women are miserable about it, or jealous, even as they can't control their appetites. If you're gonna be fat and not change, at least don't be miserable about it.

Okay, rant over lol.
I think the obsessive one is you, Trimac.
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Old 12-26-2012, 10:07 AM
 
Location: US
5,145 posts, read 10,451,489 times
Reputation: 5327
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Not saying girls/women should just not care and stuff themselves silly, but I'm sick and tired about women obsessing about looks, weight.etc. It's like all they seem to talk about is looks, clothes, how fat they are (or, somewhat refreshingly, how skinny they are), how their boobs aren't big enough, their butt is too skinny/big. I've met some pretty intelligent women who make silly adolescent superficial comments about this and that being 'hot' and it makes them seem more sheeplike and irritating. I get it, it does take some effort to look 'hot and sexy' (what's with the obsession with being sexy? Pick up a copy of Cosmo or something and it's invariably about looking hot or sexy) but if you eat right, exercise, and not get obsessive over it (or diets or any of that crap) you're gonna look healthy and decent! Why do you obsess about having 'skinny thighs' and all that other crap? Stop reading these magazines that portray 'unrealistic women' then, stop buying into it!

Where can I find a women who isn't grossly overweight who isn't obsessed with looks? lol. I'm sure they're out there, but an annoyingly high percentage seem to be like this. Even fat women are miserable about it, or jealous, even as they can't control their appetites. If you're gonna be fat and not change, at least don't be miserable about it.

Okay, rant over lol.
I think this is why during get togethers it goes back to the grade school dance organization of the sexes. Most women in one area and men in the other. A few may pass back and forth to the collections if they are daring but always retreat back to the same gender.
LOL

Its just shallow conversation everyone can have. I think that is why it comes up so often. Either you like talking about it or you don't. But either way you have somewhat of an opinion on it. And some of those things are just hilarious. Like the "what men find hot" articles. Those are always funny to pass around in a mixed group and laugh at.

The thighs thing....everyone gains weight there usually. I think that is why its so popular. Like beer guts for men. Its not always thinner thighs. Different mags push different words, looks and types.

Maybe you should look for a different type of friend set. There are some that are more obsessed than others.

Maybe if men stopped playing around with unrealistic types in fantasy land video collections things would change. Don't see that happening too soon or you guys complaining about those unrealistic females.

Sounds like men only like women that do what they want, when they want and how they want.

Have to say I like the same from another but I don't want to have to enforce it.

If you want someone that looks good they are going to have to know how to do that.
Its a trial and error thing to see what works for you on pretty much everything in life.
If they are fresh out of the gate they will seem more obsessed because they are in the more experimental stage of life.
And in REAL long term relationships there is going to be crap that annoys you. Not saying stick with someone who is absolutely annoying and a poor match but there will always be something you have to get over and realize they are more than the negative idiosyncrasies.

I love laughing at diet articles with the s.o.'s 80+ year old grandma.

"whaaaaaat. Thats insane! Wheres the potatoes?"

(low carb diet article recipe highlights)

Ha!

And yeah..she actually works out still by keeping moving on her treadmill and bike every single day.

Amazing lady.
I don't think she is open to dating younger men though. ;P
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Old 12-26-2012, 10:15 AM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,992,112 times
Reputation: 3019
It's very hard when society expects us to look a certain way. I'm by no means obsessed, but I'm 38 with seven children. I'm in very good shape because I want to be healthy, but because I have so many children and am in good shape people point it out all the time. The compliments are nice, but there's something in the back of my mind telling me if I don't stay that way everyone around me will be somehow disappointed. That may not even be true, but for some reason that's how my mind works.
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Old 12-26-2012, 10:53 AM
 
9,936 posts, read 5,766,752 times
Reputation: 9881
Then how to explain the obesity epidemic. There are many young girls who are significantly overweight and seem unashamed of their bods based on how they dress.

The body image issue of many women is based on self obsession, not society. Better looking people have always gotten more favors, nothing new there but now people are upset because they feel it isn't fair. So they obsess because they feel entitled to what some others have. It's a shame because it is unnecessary and a time and life waster. There will always be better looking people whether you starve yourself or not.

Women (the ones who have these issues) need to stop being so shallow and superficially competitive and instead spend time on more important things than their looks. Maybe they should read the story of Narcissus and learn something.
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Old 12-26-2012, 01:24 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,964,263 times
Reputation: 61854
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Not saying girls/women should just not care and stuff themselves silly, but I'm sick and tired about women obsessing about looks, weight.etc. It's like all they seem to talk about is looks, clothes, how fat they are (or, somewhat refreshingly, how skinny they are), how their boobs aren't big enough, their butt is too skinny/big. I've met some pretty intelligent women who make silly adolescent superficial comments about this and that being 'hot' and it makes them seem more sheeplike and irritating. I get it, it does take some effort to look 'hot and sexy' (what's with the obsession with being sexy? Pick up a copy of Cosmo or something and it's invariably about looking hot or sexy) but if you eat right, exercise, and not get obsessive over it (or diets or any of that crap) you're gonna look healthy and decent! Why do you obsess about having 'skinny thighs' and all that other crap? Stop reading these magazines that portray 'unrealistic women' then, stop buying into it!

Where can I find a women who isn't grossly overweight who isn't obsessed with looks? lol. I'm sure they're out there, but an annoyingly high percentage seem to be like this. Even fat women are miserable about it, or jealous, even as they can't control their appetites. If you're gonna be fat and not change, at least don't be miserable about it.

Okay, rant over lol.
I hope you do not seriously believe that commercials and magazines are the biggest factors when it comes to women and body image. A LOT of it comes from MEN, read the posts here on the forum. Almost every post in relationships about dating, marrying etc says " the woman I marry/date/have sex with/ look at/ fantasize about HAS TO BE HOT WITH A PERFECT BODY"

So quit whining about it if you are male and part of the problem.
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,844,862 times
Reputation: 16226
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Then how to explain the obesity epidemic. There are many young girls who are significantly overweight and seem unashamed of their bods based on how they dress.

The body image issue of many women is based on self obsession, not society. Better looking people have always gotten more favors, nothing new there but now people are upset because they feel it isn't fair. So they obsess because they feel entitled to what some others have. It's a shame because it is unnecessary and a time and life waster. There will always be better looking people whether you starve yourself or not.

Women (the ones who have these issues) need to stop being so shallow and superficially competitive and instead spend time on more important things than their looks. Maybe they should read the story of Narcissus and learn something.
I think body confidence ebbs and flows... sometimes, I'll put on a form fitting dress (even though I have love handles and a belly pooch) and I'll think 'I look AWESOME, and if anyone else says otherwise, they're in the wrong!!' and other days I'll layer with two sweatshirts because I feel I look fat and that nobody will ever love me because of it.

Plus, women get more attention when they show skin, regardless of how they actually look. Cleavage is cleavage. Many young women base their self worth on that attention.
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:57 PM
 
9,936 posts, read 5,766,752 times
Reputation: 9881
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I think body confidence ebbs and flows... sometimes, I'll put on a form fitting dress (even though I have love handles and a belly pooch) and I'll think 'I look AWESOME, and if anyone else says otherwise, they're in the wrong!!' and other days I'll layer with two sweatshirts because I feel I look fat and that nobody will ever love me because of it.

Plus, women get more attention when they show skin, regardless of how they actually look. Cleavage is cleavage. Many young women base their self worth on that attention.
That's really the problem. It is undoing feminism and that is huge - women have opportunities and they are blowing it by not taking themselves seriously. It's only shallow attention and makes the person seeking it seem shallow. I don't think they are all really that way, but so many are buying into it, it seems like such a waste of potential and value.

I've LOST women friends to this phenomenon, they're gone, they won't do anything that doesn't get them attention for their looks so we can't have a good conversation anymore. And they don't look that great. They only talk about hair, nails, designer clothes, their breasts, what guys looked at them, how many facebook friends, etc. These are not young women. They were not always like this, or they were and never felt free to express it.

Wouldn't it be better to not be so obsessive about the outside? Lots of average looking women live great lives and have great relationships. The guys who say they will only date models are full of it, unless they are those d-baggy types you wouldn't want to date anyway.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:06 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,291,548 times
Reputation: 11862
^ Why do people assume it's just my friends? If anything the people I hang out with are not as bad as most, but I've noticed it even among them. It's such a common thing.

In our attention grabbing world it seems that women have to do more and more to get attention, instead of using their brains or something they just bear more skin.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:18 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
2,942 posts, read 4,229,405 times
Reputation: 3401
How many negative threads about women are you going to open, Trimac?
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