U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-09-2013, 01:19 PM
 
9,825 posts, read 13,910,287 times
Reputation: 10709

Advertisements

Entire thread is hijacked. Question was - why women that are in emotional bond with someone, eg, married or otherwise involved in a monogamic relationship, make themselves prettier than they really are, in social situations? Which I'd say, men do same, just without makeup, by "dressing up". Unless you are a slob. Or guy like me - shirt, pants, scrubs, comfortable shoes. Done. Not naked in public place.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-09-2013, 01:23 PM
 
9,825 posts, read 13,910,287 times
Reputation: 10709
Another good question is - why women do NOT make themselves pretty for their mates in home situation? At least, well into relationship, when they feel SAFE with that person not dropping them. Then, they say "Oh, you do not love me anymore?" Hell no, I saw you naked. Remember Eddie Murphy face in Nutty Professor when he saw naked grandma?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: A place that's too cold
4,085 posts, read 4,052,014 times
Reputation: 10061
Quote:
Originally Posted by derosterreich View Post

I wasn't trying to slam women, I completely understand why single women use make-up.
I'm pretty sure you do not understand that. In fact, to even assume that all single women use makeup for the same reason shows how wrong your "understanding" is.

I will admit that when I was a teenager (back in the 70s) I remember being warned that if I spent much time in the sun without sunscreen, I'd have bad wrinkles by the time I was 40. I remember actually thinking "So what? I'll be married and old by then. What I look like won't matter then." Well, I am WAY past 40 by now, and I see how foolish that thinking was, and that seems to be the same kind of thinking the OP is displaying. So I kinda get where OP is coming from, but I must respectfully say he's as wrong as I was as a teenager. Young, middle-aged, old, regardless of relationship status....many people still care about their appearance.

Why do we care how ANYTHING looks? I could let my flower garden get overgrown and weedy. I could let my walls be all nicked and smudged. I could wear clothing that has snags and stains. And I COULD quit wearing makeup. But I prefer all of those those things looking their best. A little paint here, a little stain-remover there, a little makeup here.....it's strictly an aesthetic preference. None of those examples has anything to do with me being single, dating, or married.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2013, 02:46 PM
 
Location: South Minneapolis
4,526 posts, read 5,056,507 times
Reputation: 6496
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
I'm pretty sure you do not understand that. In fact, to even assume that all single women use makeup for the same reason shows how wrong your "understanding" is.

I will admit that when I was a teenager (back in the 70s) I remember being warned that if I spent much time in the sun without sunscreen, I'd have bad wrinkles by the time I was 40. I remember actually thinking "So what? I'll be married and old by then. What I look like won't matter then." Well, I am WAY past 40 by now, and I see how foolish that thinking was, and that seems to be the same kind of thinking the OP is displaying. So I kinda get where OP is coming from, but I must respectfully say he's as wrong as I was as a teenager. Young, middle-aged, old, regardless of relationship status....many people still care about their appearance.

Why do we care how ANYTHING looks? I could let my flower garden get overgrown and weedy. I could let my walls be all nicked and smudged. I could wear clothing that has snags and stains. And I COULD quit wearing makeup. But I prefer all of those those things looking their best. A little paint here, a little stain-remover there, a little makeup here.....it's strictly an aesthetic preference. None of those examples has anything to do with me being single, dating, or married.
Agree. The OP is trying to reduce everything to a strictly utilitarian basis on which he seems to evaluate things, but doesn't seem to understand that some people appreciate beauty for its own sake. That's why we seem to be speaking in different languages.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-09-2013, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Volunteer State
1,243 posts, read 891,201 times
Reputation: 2159
Strictly speaking for myself - as a married man - I think the effort my wife puts into make-up, hair, etc. is wasted. She is pretty. She is beautiful, both to me and to others . But I know that she goes thru these steps every day so that she can fell better about herself. She also wants me to tell her how pretty she is - she wants to feel and hear it. And not from a self-esteem issue, I believe it simply makes her feel good.

I think the problem the OP is refering to - and correct me if I'm wrong - is that, well, the effort is really wasted. At least to me. I didn't marry my wife because she's a blonde-haired, blue-eyes beauty - which she is . I married her because she's my best friend. (talk about friends with benefits! ) And when she does go thru all of the effort to gussy up, what did it really do? She's already beautiful! And I'm not just being biased or cheesy. And I've told her this over and over for the last 16 years. But it doesn't change the fact she will still do it. Why? Probably more for her than me.

So I think the OP might be alluding to the idea that "why do women make such an effort to improve upon what simply doesn't need improving?" At least that was the way I read it. And I think most men feel similar about their wives/SO's.

Last edited by Starman71; 01-09-2013 at 04:05 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2013, 05:52 AM
 
Location: In a cave
946 posts, read 789,920 times
Reputation: 716
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
I'm pretty sure you do not understand that. In fact, to even assume that all single women use makeup for the same reason shows how wrong your "understanding" is.

I will admit that when I was a teenager (back in the 70s) I remember being warned that if I spent much time in the sun without sunscreen, I'd have bad wrinkles by the time I was 40. I remember actually thinking "So what? I'll be married and old by then. What I look like won't matter then." Well, I am WAY past 40 by now, and I see how foolish that thinking was, and that seems to be the same kind of thinking the OP is displaying. So I kinda get where OP is coming from, but I must respectfully say he's as wrong as I was as a teenager. Young, middle-aged, old, regardless of relationship status....many people still care about their appearance.

Why do we care how ANYTHING looks? I could let my flower garden get overgrown and weedy. I could let my walls be all nicked and smudged. I could wear clothing that has snags and stains. And I COULD quit wearing makeup. But I prefer all of those those things looking their best. A little paint here, a little stain-remover there, a little makeup here.....it's strictly an aesthetic preference. None of those examples has anything to do with me being single, dating, or married.
Please, everyone puts make-up on for the same reason. To enhance what features they feel uncomfortable naturally showing. Make-up is just that, to make-up your features and exaggerate them.

If you didn't care about your skin when you are a teenage, you aren't far from the foolish kids of today who tan round the clock to look like their favorite MTV star and sacrifice beauty on the back end of their life. Some people are smart, some are dumb. Some people realize over exposure to the sun and tanning beds isn't just going to make your skin wrinkle, it will elevate your cancer probability which is why anyone who does so isn't very smart.

I am not wrong, this isn't an opinion. Women put on make-up for sexual/aesthetic appeal.

As many reasonable men have mentioned, it makes already pretty women marginally more attractive and (I saw 5%) and I have to agree with that. I instantly think something is wrong with someone who over does make-up because it means they feel the need to hide something. Someone who uses very little or no make-up and is beautiful is the kind of girl that has it right and has her priorities straight.

Extrapolate all the time women or men spend getting ready (I can specifically remember my mom growing up spending at least 1 hour doing this and that before work.) over a lifetime and you've wasted immense amounts of time that could be better spent with your husband, children, hobby, something more stimulating than making sure the people at your office think you are aesthetically appealing or sexy.

I don't do anything to the outside of my house because it makes my property taxes go up, so I guess all in all I don't care what people think about me or my stuff? I let the vain be vain, and I do what pleases me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2013, 05:59 AM
 
Location: In a cave
946 posts, read 789,920 times
Reputation: 716
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukrkoz View Post
Entire thread is hijacked. Question was - why women that are in emotional bond with someone, eg, married or otherwise involved in a monogamic relationship, make themselves prettier than they really are, in social situations? Which I'd say, men do same, just without makeup, by "dressing up". Unless you are a slob. Or guy like me - shirt, pants, scrubs, comfortable shoes. Done. Not naked in public place.
If this comfort level is an option, I always go that route. I will say, I will oblige to my guests or family when going to a more formal event with more formal clothing. I am not as utilitarian as some people my label me, but I can say that is a pretty accurate description.

I'm pretty sure it comes down to self-esteem and lack thereof, the less self-esteem you have the more artificial you are willing to be to compensate. What do you think?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2013, 06:46 AM
 
Location: A place that's too cold
4,085 posts, read 4,052,014 times
Reputation: 10061
Quote:
Originally Posted by derosterreich View Post
Please, everyone puts make-up on for the same reason.
Since you have this utterly and completely figured out, it makes no sense that you would have started this thread. No one else's answers carry any weight. You already know that everyone puts makeup on for the same reason.

Quote:
If you didn't care about your skin when you are a teenage, you aren't far from the foolish kids of today who tan round the clock to look like their favorite MTV star and sacrifice beauty on the back end of their life. Some people are smart, some are dumb. Some people realize over exposure to the sun and tanning beds isn't just going to make your skin wrinkle, it will elevate your cancer probability which is why anyone who does so isn't very smart.
I never said that I didn't care about my skin or that I tanned, as a teenager or any other time in my life. I merely said that I didn't think my appearance would matter by the time I was 40. Yes, you are right that sun and tanning beds are unhealthy. I am thankful that I have used sunscreen every day for decades, hats and sun umbrellas at the beach, etc.


Quote:
I instantly think something is wrong with someone who over does make-up because it means they feel the need to hide something.
The original post wasn't about people who over do makeup. That really is a different topic, but still a matter of personal opinion.

Hide something? Yes, some women prefer to use foundation to cover scars from acne or surgery, redness of rosacea or eczema, or even skin damage from a fire or sun exposure. If applied well, skin will look healthier and help the wearer to avoid stares due to some degree of disfigurement. If that's a reason for you to judge me, enjoy your seat on that high horse.

Quote:
Extrapolate all the time women or men spend getting ready (I can specifically remember my mom growing up spending at least 1 hour doing this and that before work.) over a lifetime and you've wasted immense amounts of time that could be better spent with your husband, children, hobby, something more stimulating than making sure the people at your office think you are aesthetically appealing or sexy.
I'm sure many people would think that spending time on this forum is a waste of time that could be better spent elsewhere. To each his own. And "an hour doing this and that" before work? It takes me 6-7 minutes to put on all my makeup. 45 minutes if you include the shower, shaving (is that a vain waste of time too? Tough toenails, I'm going to keep my pits and other parts smooth!), drying and styling hair, brush and floss (dental hygiene---i find that others appreciate it!), and ironing and getting dressed. I listen to upbeat music during this routine, and it helps pep me up for the day.

Quote:
I don't do anything to the outside of my house because it makes my property taxes go up, so I guess all in all I don't care what people think about me or my stuff? I let the vain be vain, and I do what pleases me.
Ummm.... I'm pretty sure property taxes don't go up if you pull weeds or paint your siding. You say you don't care about you or your stuff, but you sure seem to care about others'! Actually I think you just like to argue. Do you just roll out of bed and go into work disheveled and stinky?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2013, 08:57 AM
 
Location: In a cave
946 posts, read 789,920 times
Reputation: 716
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
Since you have this utterly and completely figured out, it makes no sense that you would have started this thread. No one else's answers carry any weight. You already know that everyone puts makeup on for the same reason.
Salient point, but I wanted to get a feel of direct responses to this question and how honest some people are and other are not.

Quote:
I never said that I didn't care about my skin or that I tanned, as a teenager or any other time in my life. I merely said that I didn't think my appearance would matter by the time I was 40. Yes, you are right that sun and tanning beds are unhealthy. I am thankful that I have used sunscreen every day for decades, hats and sun umbrellas at the beach, etc.
This isn't relevant data to me.


The original post wasn't about people who over do makeup. That really is a different topic, but still a matter of personal opinion.

Quote:
Hide something? Yes, some women prefer to use foundation to cover scars from acne or surgery, redness of rosacea or eczema, or even skin damage from a fire or sun exposure. If applied well, skin will look healthier and help the wearer to avoid stares due to some degree of disfigurement. If that's a reason for you to judge me, enjoy your seat on that high horse.
I'm not necessarily on a high horse. It is just a character trait to me. Would you want to date a smoker? Or fat person? Or unintelligent person? Everyone has desirable traits in mates and friends, this is one that is a window inside the mind. Since you obviously cannot read minds, you can surmise (usually accurately) a lot about people based on the little shreds of information they display.



Quote:
I'm sure many people would think that spending time on this forum is a waste of time that could be better spent elsewhere. To each his own. And "an hour doing this and that" before work? It takes me 6-7 minutes to put on all my makeup. 45 minutes if you include the shower, shaving (is that a vain waste of time too? Tough toenails, I'm going to keep my pits and other parts smooth!), drying and styling hair, brush and floss (dental hygiene---i find that others appreciate it!), and ironing and getting dressed. I listen to upbeat music during this routine, and it helps pep me up for the day.
I agree, at some level many things become foolish wastes of time. For me, this is a way for me to study responses of a vast swathe of people from all kinds of demographics (assuming they divulge) and locations around the world and country. I hardly think that I have it all figured out, I thirst for knowledge and understanding. I will never learn all I want to in a lifetime, but I try my best to critically think about an array of things important and unimportant.

Quote:
Ummm.... I'm pretty sure property taxes don't go up if you pull weeds or paint your siding. You say you don't care about you or your stuff, but you sure seem to care about others'! Actually I think you just like to argue. Do you just roll out of bed and go into work disheveled and stinky?
I don't want to smell stinky, that is a little bit of stretch. I show and practice hygiene, again there is more than aesthetic reasons to do so. (tooth decay, disease, etc)

I don't actually care about the "others" beyond the rationale and psychological level. I just like to gather information and ponder my findings.

I can assure you the more aesthetics you put into your property, especially the curb appeal; you will be increased on taxes. It is done by a drive-by assessment, which compares your house to the "average" of the neighborhood or a baseline. If you have more appeal, or aesthetics than the average you are going to be assessed higher values than the baseline. The reverse is true as well, which is how you are measured in property taxes. The inside of your house is a whole different story, which is where I spend the vast majority of my labor and money for my own comfort. The other tip I will tell you - never get a permit for anything or you get penalized for the rest of your ownership life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2013, 09:02 AM
 
571 posts, read 947,490 times
Reputation: 1443
Quote:
Originally Posted by derosterreich View Post
If this comfort level is an option, I always go that route. I will say, I will oblige to my guests or family when going to a more formal event with more formal clothing. I am not as utilitarian as some people my label me, but I can say that is a pretty accurate description.

I'm pretty sure it comes down to self-esteem and lack thereof, the less self-esteem you have the more artificial you are willing to be to compensate. What do you think?
I completely agree w/all Kayanne's points. I wear makeup whenever I feel like it, 5 minutes after brushing my teeth, whether I'm going to be telecommuting or running errands. Maybe it's a weekend and everyone's home, maybe not. I like different looks - sometimes minimal makeup, sometimes red lipstick. My husband loves the different looks. He likes me fine without it, too. I also don't run around in sweats all day just because I work from home. It's ridiculous to think that the amount of makeup, whether or not I comb my hair, whether I wear my contacts or eyeglasses all have something to do w/some deep-seeded self-esteem issue.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top