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Old 07-01-2013, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Howard County, MD
2,224 posts, read 2,866,057 times
Reputation: 3362

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
It's pretty slow at work so I spent some time looking through his blog...sadly, I agree with most of what he says. All that matters to men is that a woman is thin and hot. In shape? BS. I know plenty of women who are in horrible shape but who are thin and they have zero issues with men.

So, women, be hot and skinny! And....well, that's it. Nothing in that blog was something I didn't already know.
I don't think that's what he was getting at.

Yes, it is from a thin-centric perspective, but while many guys have other tastes, this is the dominant ideal in society- and this is coming from a guy who prefers curvier women.

But that aside, let me personally emphasize the following points:

1. Shape matters more than size.

3. Men don't need Victoria's Secret models.

4. Your complex about being overweight is more unattractive than being overweight.

Overall I think the point of the blog post was about being realistic and not being neurotic.

But I share your lament about the focus on skinniness and not being fit. I know a lot of women like what you described- very thin, but all their weight is skeleton and flab, and I think women who are heavier but have good muscle mass are often too hard on themselves. But I think that ties into #1, because I find they usually have better proportions.
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Old 07-01-2013, 02:50 PM
 
5,643 posts, read 5,106,164 times
Reputation: 10150
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple View Post


This guy makes a classic mistake many men make - projecting their own individual taste onto other men, as if it is some kind of universal standard.

Men who are into giant boobs do the same thing - can't fathom other men not into them & label them gay if they are not or in denial or "whipped" or some other degrading label. Men into thin women think men who like larger ones must have a sick fat fetish & men into larger women think ones into thinner women must really like boys or underage girls.

It's odd to me how much men want/need to create some objective standard of beauty by which to measure women (ie. rating with numbers); I suspect it's born of treating your partner as a trophy, a sign of his own personal value. I wonder how much more varied men's individual preferences might be if not for that, in addition to some major conditioning via the media (especially porn & men's magazines).
Very true.

Really the wide variety of women in the real world who are happily partnered shows how varied tastes actually are.

Plus, I don't think most men really know how much a woman weighs or what size she actually wears or what her BMI is. Even when they think they know, they don't most of the time. They just know that they like what they are seeing. Things like spanx, miracle bras and dresses cut to flatter are a mysterious little understood force. LOL.

Or makeup. A girl in sweatpants and a pony tail might get passed by for being too plain, but the same girl made up with her hair out and a tight dress on will get called smokin' hot.
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Old 07-01-2013, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,789,079 times
Reputation: 16226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnbiggs View Post
I don't think that's what he was getting at.

Yes, it is from a thin-centric perspective, but while many guys have other tastes, this is the dominant ideal in society- and this is coming from a guy who prefers curvier women.

But that aside, let me personally emphasize the following points:

1. Shape matters more than size.

3. Men don't need Victoria's Secret models.

4. Your complex about being overweight is more unattractive than being overweight.

Overall I think the point of the blog post was about being realistic and not being neurotic.

But I share your lament about the focus on skinniness and not being fit. I know a lot of women like what you described- very thin, but all their weight is skeleton and flab, and I think women who are heavier but have good muscle mass are often too hard on themselves. But I think that ties into #1, because I find they usually have better proportions.

Shape is generally not something one has control over....so he's basically saying either you're born attractive (yay!) or born unattractive (sad). I mean, I can't help that I carry weight in my stomach while my friend carries it mostly in her thighs/butt.

Men may not need Victoria's Secret models, but those are the gals many of them are thinking about when they're 'settling' for the woman they're with hoping they'll one day get one of those models.

I can definitely understand #4...but what he seems to be saying is 'obsess about it, just don't talk about it around me' because in another post he says you should always still be hungry after eating. That doesn't sound healthy and fit to me...
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Old 07-01-2013, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,875 posts, read 28,145,186 times
Reputation: 25988
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Shape is generally not something one has control over....so he's basically saying either you're born attractive (yay!) or born unattractive (sad). I mean, I can't help that I carry weight in my stomach while my friend carries it mostly in her thighs/butt.
That's any easy fix. Just get plastic surgery.




On an autocorrecting iDevice.
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Old 07-01-2013, 03:46 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,672 posts, read 64,140,481 times
Reputation: 68458
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Men may not need Victoria's Secret models, but those are the gals many of them are thinking about when they're 'settling' for the woman they're with hoping they'll one day get one of those models.
It true; it seems like those are the women a lot of guys consider "average".
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Old 07-01-2013, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,875 posts, read 28,145,186 times
Reputation: 25988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
It true; it seems like those are the women a lot of guys consider "average".
Or you know. The "average" fitness model or cross fit champion.


On an autocorrecting iDevice.
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Old 07-01-2013, 03:48 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,483 times
Reputation: 16
To be honest I'm a twig and I know it people call me stick and I'm 160 pounds and I want to be 100 pounds
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:07 PM
 
14,790 posts, read 13,479,584 times
Reputation: 20478
Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick View Post
All I know is that I won't be dating the author of the blog.

My BF fell in love with me and my fat self when I was 70lbs overweight. I've lost 25lbs so far (for myself, not him) and he loves me now just the same. He thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and has told me so prior to losing weight. In fact, he told me to stop losing weight cuz my butt was getting flat, LOL.

On the other hand, I know there are men who will look at me and think I am extremely disgusting and they won't go near me with a 10-foot pole. That's fine. They want something different than what I am, I don't take it personally.

I know most men who have found me attractive, shockingly to themselves, it's because of my shape. I carry all my weight evenly (hourglass shaped) so although yes, I'm big, I'm evenly big and I "convert" some guys.

So, I think the blog is correct on some points. Body shape does make a difference. Obsessing over your weight is unattractive (I don't care if it's to stay thin or to lose weight). The rest of it, is just pure opinion. I'm not a big fan of generalizing an entire sex/race/state/etc.
Your bf sounds like a great guy
And agree about generalising ... There are plenty of men who appreciate women in all shapes and sizes

Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Shape is generally not something one has control over....so he's basically saying either you're born attractive (yay!) or born unattractive (sad). I mean, I can't help that I carry weight in my stomach while my friend carries it mostly in her thighs/butt.

Men may not need Victoria's Secret models, but those are the gals many of them are thinking about when they're 'settling' for the woman they're with hoping they'll one day get one of those models.

I can definitely understand #4...but what he seems to be saying is 'obsess about it, just don't talk about it around me' because in another post he says you should always still be hungry after eating. That doesn't sound healthy and fit to me...
Right. To this one guy a certain shape is attractive.
There are plenty of women who are in relationships/married and they aren't all the same.

Not really a big deal.
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Old 07-01-2013, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,875 posts, read 28,145,186 times
Reputation: 25988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayronalz View Post
To be honest I'm a twig and I know it people call me stick and I'm 160 pounds and I want to be 100 pounds
I'd ask why you are focused in being 100 pounds. Is there a better goal for you, like focusing in body fat percentage. Or perhaps measurements. Than an absolute on the scale, which may not work with your frame, height or body type?


On an autocorrecting iDevice.
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Old 07-02-2013, 06:05 AM
 
88 posts, read 111,930 times
Reputation: 55
This point was is also good 'Your figure is significantly defined by your posture"
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