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Old 07-13-2013, 10:36 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,626 posts, read 2,113,543 times
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Anna Nicole Smith was obese for a while. Maybe in part from drinking. (I've never read a biography about her. She was an awful spectacle.) That reminds of the obese mother of someone I haven't seen in years. The mom is dead now, I think from cancer. I heard she was an alcoholic.

Here is something from Google on alcohol and obesity.

Another idea I've had for years is that exercise becomes more painful with added weight, which leads to being less active and getting heavier. So between that and other possible reasons, maybe things easily spiral out of control for women once they're moderately overweight.

Last edited by goodheathen; 07-13-2013 at 10:58 PM..

 
Old 07-13-2013, 11:09 PM
 
12,607 posts, read 14,609,308 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Not trying to be lame,but Oprah isn't married.
I think the op is talking about obese women being successful in their love lives?
Wow. You have to be married to be successful in your love life? Oprah has been with the same man for many years and isn't married because she chooses not to get married.

About what happens that makes people become obese - well, I think one thing is DIETING. We used to be told fat was the culprit so we could eat sugar and grains, just not fat. Then we were told to stay away from white stuff - sugar, potatoes, etc. Now it's low carb, gluten free, dairy free. It's confusing. So you eat the way you are told is healthy, and then years later find out it's not healthy. No wonder you gained weight - you were eating the wrong things, thinking they were the right thing.

I think you can be young and eat the wrong things and it doesn't necessarily catch up with you till years later.

In the case of women, I think we are always fighting against our hormones too.
 
Old 07-13-2013, 11:57 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,626 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by plmokn View Post
People with good genes don't have these problems.
At first I thought that comment was ridiculous, but as I wondered why the lack of obese high-powered career women, I thought of IQ and my search turned up this. I just remembered I do have a living relative who probably is obese (haven't seen him in years); like the dead one, there is something distinctly wrong with his brain.

As for obese women giving up on relationships, I think it's as simple as that in many cases - women who want to be attractive to men will fight very hard to not be obese. By the way, I agree that dieting can lead to obesity - it's by eating the wrong foods and losing too much muscle.

Last edited by goodheathen; 07-14-2013 at 12:14 AM..
 
Old 07-14-2013, 02:05 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,279 posts, read 3,729,752 times
Reputation: 4001
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
Another idea I've had for years is that exercise becomes more painful with added weight, which leads to being less active and getting heavier. So between that and other possible reasons, maybe things easily spiral out of control for women once they're moderately overweight.
I don't know about painful, but certainly more difficult. If you carry excess weight, that's much more stress on knees/feet, etc if you go running, play a game of soccer, etc.

It can also range from embarrassing to overwhelming to even walk in the door of a gym. My best friend from high school qualifies as medically ''morbidly obese". She really struggles with this, and has left the gym in tears before, due to people staring or saying unkind things about her (such as "god, I'd kill myself if I got that fat."). She's lost a bunch of weight already and is really trying hard to develop healthier diet and exercise habits, and I am in awe at the way she's tackling this. Very proud of her.

And, this might seem a bit frivolous, but it's also hard to find pretty or cute workout clothes in larger sizes. It sucks to be the only one on yoga class wearing something ugly when everyone else has on a cute little color coordinated outfit.
 
Old 07-14-2013, 02:53 AM
 
4,750 posts, read 3,315,773 times
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In high school I was depressed and that was untreated for 3 years. In that 3 year span, I ate junk food to feel better and was still active but managed to gain 100 lbs. Obviously, that's because there was more coming that going out. By the time it was treated, the depression became so severe that it became psychotic depression. The anti-depressant made me gain 20 lbs. which I think is normal. I was also diagnosed with the binge eating disorders.

So, to answer your question: Yes, I did give up on myself. I stayed in bed on the weekends. I didn't hang out with friends. I missed homecoming and prom. I didn't want to walk across the stage at graduation, but my mom forced me to. I failed a couple classes.

Now, I'm trying to lose the weight. I've developed sleep apnea and stretch marks. I didn't know that I was depressed, but I knew something was wrong with me. I told my parents of my symptoms and mom, a nurse, "had no idea"... There is a lot of resentment towards her and I probably will never forgive her.
 
Old 07-14-2013, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
6,721 posts, read 11,739,154 times
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Default nasty newbie poster = gave up on being a nice person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
I'm serious here - since probably no woman wants to go from normal weight to obese, if she does, that means at some point she gave up on herself? What about giving up on relationships and career? I can't think of any highly successful obese woman. And yes, I know that thyroid disorder, medication, etc. can cause weight gain, but the chances of going from slim to obese due to that are almost zilch. I'm actually trying to get over the probably common perception that the typical obese woman doesn't care, but at some point she probably was neglecting herself.
You're "trying to get over the probably common perception ..."? Really? Everything else you've posted in this thread just confirms that you have a serious problem with "obese" women (and then you add that no, you think badly about overweight men as well, as if we are supposed to applaud?). You have no fat friends? Gee, I wonder why.

I don't choose my friends based on their weight. Good g-d.

Your only "obese" relatives died young or had something wrong with their brain. OK.

Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
Madeleine Albright? Yes, a possibly obese highly successful woman. She looked prematurely old in the Clinton era, and I'm not really thinking of old women with this thread. My guess is she got that way gradually. Interestingly, her husband died in 1984. Maybe after that, her appearance became unimportant to her.
Or maybe not everyone in the world is as judgmental as you and would look at Madeleine Albright and immediately think of her weight? Seriously?

What a nasty, mean-spirited, pointless OP.
 
Old 07-14-2013, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Fairfield, CT
5,530 posts, read 8,186,609 times
Reputation: 5765
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani View Post
In high school I was depressed and that was untreated for 3 years. In that 3 year span, I ate junk food to feel better and was still active but managed to gain 100 lbs. Obviously, that's because there was more coming that going out. By the time it was treated, the depression became so severe that it became psychotic depression. The anti-depressant made me gain 20 lbs. which I think is normal. I was also diagnosed with the binge eating disorders.

So, to answer your question: Yes, I did give up on myself. I stayed in bed on the weekends. I didn't hang out with friends. I missed homecoming and prom. I didn't want to walk across the stage at graduation, but my mom forced me to. I failed a couple classes.

Now, I'm trying to lose the weight. I've developed sleep apnea and stretch marks. I didn't know that I was depressed, but I knew something was wrong with me. I told my parents of my symptoms and mom, a nurse, "had no idea"... There is a lot of resentment towards her and I probably will never forgive her.
Thank you for this realistic post. My sister has struggled with obesity and it has taken an awful toll on her life. I think it's important to be realistic about it, and while it's not right to be mean, the whole "Polyanna" tone of many of the posts in this thread aren't accurate either.

I hope that you are feeling better. There's no way a positive spin can be accurately put on being obese. It has terrible physical and emotional consequences.
 
Old 07-14-2013, 08:02 AM
 
6,124 posts, read 5,149,377 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luzianne View Post
Wow. You have to be married to be successful in your love life? Oprah has been with the same man for many years and isn't married because she chooses not to get married.

About what happens that makes people become obese - well, I think one thing is DIETING. We used to be told fat was the culprit so we could eat sugar and grains, just not fat. Then we were told to stay away from white stuff - sugar, potatoes, etc. Now it's low carb, gluten free, dairy free. It's confusing. So you eat the way you are told is healthy, and then years later find out it's not healthy. No wonder you gained weight - you were eating the wrong things, thinking they were the right thing.

I think you can be young and eat the wrong things and it doesn't necessarily catch up with you till years later.

In the case of women, I think we are always fighting against our hormones too.

The above bolded is very true. I was always a thin adult (at times "skinny") - I ate like a long shoreman, whatever I wanted, and weight gain was seldom an issue. I always exercised a lot though - a couple of hours a day. Then, before the time I hit menopause, I was diagnosed with a severely overactive thyroid gland (hot nodules). These were revving up my metabolism. Great, I thought, I can live with a revved up metabolism if it doesn't make me gain weight - so I ignored the doctor and didn't pursue treatment. A couple of years later, I was irritable, walking in a fog, tired, and sick. I then went to an endocrinologist.

I'd heard horror stories of people getting their thyroid radiated (fried) and ending up hypothyroid and gaining HUGE amounts of weight - my biggest fear. The doctor did recommend this, but instead gave me the option of going on meds. The meds worked wonders, but I did have to put up with a 15 pound weight gain which was horrifying for me. Iwent from being a rail thin size 4 to a normal looking size 8, but for me it felt like being a fat lady in the circus. I just had to learn to eat better. The weight is coming off very very slowly. I may never be a 4 again, but I'm now healthy, I feel so much better and my thyroid readings are now normal, that it really doesn't matter as much at this point.
 
Old 07-14-2013, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee
1,999 posts, read 1,890,114 times
Reputation: 568
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
I'm serious here - since probably no woman wants to go from normal weight to obese, if she does, that means at some point she gave up on herself? What about giving up on relationships and career? I can't think of any highly successful obese woman. And yes, I know that thyroid disorder, medication, etc. can cause weight gain, but the chances of going from slim to obese due to that are almost zilch. I'm actually trying to get over the probably common perception that the typical obese woman doesn't care, but at some point she probably was neglecting herself.
I think it's difficult for a lot of people to not get "fat" in many countries due to the changes in modern lifestyle, which can be pretty sedentary.

Also, there seems to be a not so uncommon attitude--at least in the United States--that once you hit about 30 you no longer can engage in much physical recreation or sports.

I know when I hit community college for the first time at age 35 I was routinely walking up lonely empty staircases while the bulk of the student body--many in their 20s--would stand and wait for the elevator. Even to go 1 floor. On the treadmill for the required (actually, I'm not sure if that was required?) physical health class most would walk. I'd run, increase my run speed, and increase the incline too.

I found similar at the boxing gym I used to go to. I could often out run the teenagers. This was in my late 30s.

I think I read that in Sardinia the life expectancy is longer than in the U.S. and even old people walk up and down hills daily to fetch water for their homes. I also remember seeing the image of a very old black man in Brazil in some small fishing town. This guy was in shorts and shirtless for the photograph. His livelihood was fishing and he did it the old fashion way in a row boat using nets by hand. You should have seen how sculpted this old black man's body was. Just great muscular definition. He was standing tall and erect. I think the guy was in his 80s. But next to him you'll find a lot of 60 year olds in the developed nations that are physically weak and hurt themselves just slightly bending over. By age 80 they are bent over and can hardly walk.

I think the instructor for that physical health class spoke about seeing the cadavers of a chubby guy in his 20's and old man that lived his whole life as a farmer. The old man I remember him saying... had the musculature of a young 20 year old.

People tend to empathize with those they see in themselves, so, you'll probably find a lot of Americans rationalizing obesity in the U.S. (I did to an extent in my first paragraph although I'm not nor ever have been fat), due to the fact so many Americans are "fat."
 
Old 07-14-2013, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,465 posts, read 22,698,975 times
Reputation: 45139
OP, how old are you? I ask only because it seems like on these boards that we get teenage/20-something guys who've never had a weight problem or have always been jocks with few outside responsibilities passing judgment on the bodies of middle-aged women who are often mothers or pre-menopausal. Saying that pregnant women gain weight out of laziness just shows a lack of understanding of hormones and that of a profound physical and emotional change in a woman's body. Also, women with families tend to put themselves and their needs last, so they often take care of everyone else's needs first, and may be likely to self-medicate with food.
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