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Old 07-18-2013, 05:51 PM
 
3,408 posts, read 5,126,424 times
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In the last few months I have been going out wearing shorts with stains that don't wash out (nothing gross) or shorts with bleach marks and small holes. I also have been wearing tennis shoes that are really old, dirty or washed a few times and jeans with paint on them. I have a t shirt I like but it got a few holes when it was washed, but I've still worn it a bunch of times. I can afford new clothes, but I haven't bothered to buy much and I just feel like no one comments, so no one cares or notices. I have even gone over to people's houses for dinner with stained clothes and they don't seem to care. Do you think I have crossed the line and need to dress a little nicer? I'm kind of waiting for someone I know to say something.
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Old 07-18-2013, 05:58 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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Most likely nobody is going to say anything about it to your face, but they're probably talking about it behind your back. It's unlikely that anyone will sit you down and say, "Felix, why are you dressing like a homeless person?" Those clothes would be fine for washing the car or cutting the grass, but showing up to dinner at someone's home in stained, ripped clothing is disrespectful to them. They've gone to the effort to entertain you in their home, but you can't make the effort to put on decent clothes?
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Old 07-18-2013, 05:59 PM
 
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Wear nice clothes for YOURSELF. Don't look for compliments.
Also, the better you look, the better you feel - and you might just get that person to notice you.
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Old 07-18-2013, 06:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Most likely nobody is going to say anything about it to your face, but they're probably talking about it behind your back. It's unlikely that anyone will sit you day and say, "Felix, why are you dressing like a homeless person?" Those clothes would be fine for washing the car or cutting the grass, but showing up to dinner at someone's home in stained, ripped clothing is disrespectful to them. They've gone to the effort to entertain you in their home, but you can't make the effort to put on decent clothes?
I don't look like a bum. It's a mix, like sort of bum. Right now, I'm wearing a white T that's fairly new and clean, but my shorts are light blue with some tiny bleach marks on them and one that burned all the way through. What I wore to dinner, was a newish t and some beige shorts that are a year old, but with some light stains I that haven't washed out. The invite was last minute. I guess I haven't gone "full bum" but I'm letting some things slide. I did a ton of DIY projects over the last few months, so my clothes got destroyed with paint, stains and chemicals. I was so busy, that I'd have to run out to do errands looking dirty and I got used to it. No one seemed to care, so I guess I started to think it didn't matter.
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Old 07-18-2013, 06:09 PM
 
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What else I noticed, is that people have been giving me discounts and even stuff for free. I got a free cell phone charger at best buy. I have a dumb phone with tape holding the case close and asked for a charger. They took out a big bin of chargers, found one for me and winked to me as they said "just take it" lol. I think that they were left over chargers or returns, but they took 10 mins to match it to my phone.
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Old 07-18-2013, 06:14 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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You look like a bum; your friends are wondering what's going on; people are feeling sorry for the poor man and giving him things.

Have some self-respect and spring for some new (or gently used - NO stains or holes!) things.
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Old 07-18-2013, 06:49 PM
 
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"... no one seems to care ..."

Do you NEED someone to care about how you look?
Just askin', not being a smarty here.
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Old 07-18-2013, 07:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soda120 View Post
"... no one seems to care ..."

Do you NEED someone to care about how you look?
Just askin', not being a smarty here.
no, not really. but i think many people want others to notice how nice and fashionable they look, because it seems like their appearance takes a lot of effort. i wonder how much people really care about how fashionable others look or is it more of an effort to feel accepted or worthy of a social circle.

i suppose for me it's more of a social experiment. i just don't care if i fit in, so that gives me freedom to dress as i like. a few years back, i almost always bought black shirts. black crew neck t shirts, v neck t shirts, button up shirts, sweaters, etc. i was wondering when someone would say something and eventually someone did. but i bet other people noticed and didn't feel comfortable saying anything.

i think that it takes A LOT before people will make a comment. but many will notice before that.
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Old 07-18-2013, 07:16 PM
 
5,644 posts, read 6,456,872 times
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Default Disrespect

Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Most likely nobody is going to say anything about it to your face, but they're probably talking about it behind your back. It's unlikely that anyone will sit you down and say, "Felix, why are you dressing like a homeless person?" Those clothes would be fine for washing the car or cutting the grass, but showing up to dinner at someone's home in stained, ripped clothing is disrespectful to them. They've gone to the effort to entertain you in their home, but you can't make the effort to put on decent clothes?
Yes, the hosts have gone to the effort to entertain you in their home. It is a sign of disrespect on your part that you do not dress appropriately for the occasion. I hope your table manners, at least, are good.

OP, it sounds like you are crying out for attention with all these clothing experiments... How about looking for good attention instead of bad attention??
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Old 07-18-2013, 07:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
Yes, the hosts have gone to the effort to entertain you in their home. It is a sign of disrespect on your part that you do not dress appropriately for the occasion. I hope your table manners, at least, are good.

It sounds like you are crying out for attention with all these clothing experiments!
I have to tell you the back story. The host was my old neighbor. She took one of my fathers cats. I took the cat to the vet to get a check up and some treatments. I called her to bring the print out of all the vet records at 6 at around 5pm. She asked if I wanted to have dinner with them. I said ok. I didn't have time to wash clothes. It was a casual dinner. I didn't look bad, but if you looked close you could see that there were some stains that wouldn't wash out. But I am in the middle of moving, so I think it is ok.

My manners are good. I was on time. I helped prepare food and I helped clean up. She invited me to sushi next week.
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