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Old 07-26-2013, 04:44 AM
 
249 posts, read 338,755 times
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GrandviewGloria, that is a wonderful story. I can't tell you how happy I am for you and your man. It was with gusto that I clicked on the recommend button!
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Old 07-26-2013, 12:12 PM
 
5,017 posts, read 4,833,112 times
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Sounds to me like the yougn man needs to work on his confidence.
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Old 07-28-2013, 02:30 PM
 
Location: The Help Desk
255 posts, read 505,475 times
Reputation: 289
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Agreed, he should do fine in the long run. I've found women are FAR more likely to overlook physical defects than men are.

Definitely true. Women are far more concerned with social status and earnings than looks.
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Old 07-28-2013, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,798,792 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Help Desk View Post
Definitely true. Women are far more concerned with social status and earnings than looks.
And I'm concerned with neither of those things
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Old 07-28-2013, 02:37 PM
 
Location: The Help Desk
255 posts, read 505,475 times
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Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
And I'm concerned with neither of those things
That is definitely an enduring quality in my book.
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Old 07-28-2013, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,798,792 times
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Originally Posted by The Help Desk View Post
That is definitely an enduring quality in my book.
Most men think that women demand a high social status or money because of perceived competition with other men... not because women actually demand those things.

Unless you're trying to bag a supermodel or something, of course. I have no idea how much the guy I'm seeing makes, nor does it make a difference in the way I feel about him. I took him to dinner last night and paid for everything so I'm not looking to be pampered.
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Old 07-28-2013, 02:44 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,427,088 times
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Most I have dated had moral deformities looking back the physical would have been preferable
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Old 07-28-2013, 03:11 PM
 
Location: The Help Desk
255 posts, read 505,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Most men think that women demand a high social status or money because of perceived competition with other men... not because women actually demand those things.
The problem with generalizations is they're based on personal value judgments, not reality.

Women trade on looks, men trade on social status and wealth. This is why men, as they get older, are able to 'trade up' to younger, more beautiful women.

Doesn't mean all men want to do this, nor does it mean that all women play this game either, but it is a well established pattern.

Example; Bill Bob Thorton. Guy is ugly as a mud fence, but that didn't stop him from thumping Angelina Jolie's gourd, did it?
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Old 07-28-2013, 06:34 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
6,191 posts, read 14,728,660 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WRolle View Post
So my cousin was born with glaucoma in both eyes. He has his life together, for all intents and purposes. He is currently in medical school. The problem is that, even though he works out and has a better abdomen than me, he has strabismus in one eye due to multiple surgeries. He already had surgery, but it had minimal impact. He says that girls automatically write him off due to his eye. He says that he has never been on a date but twice. I have a question for women, would you date a man with a minor deformity? He pretty much is on the road to success and takes care of himself.
To echo GrandviewGloria:

Few people are physically perfect and it matters less to women then men, in general.

First serious BF: had psoriasis. Not disfiguring, but there. Mattered to me not one whit.
First ex husband (LOL): had a slightly withered leg from polio. Otherwise a complete hottie, completely able, 6' 4" and fit, hiker, biker, etc. Not an issue.
Current gentleman caller (again, LOL, I am older) is bald, wears glasses, has high BP and a family history of colon cancer.
Also I have several friends who are somewhere between fat and seriously obese and unhealthy....and they are married, happily so.

Are any of these things "minor deformities" along the lines of the OP's scenario? I don't think so, really...just little blips in the mosaic of human experience.

To the OP, your cousin's condition sounds so utterly not an issue, especially for someone smart and accomplished enough to be in med school. I suspect he has a confidence problem, rather than an actual problem with his looks, that is impeding his dating history.
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Old 07-28-2013, 06:43 PM
 
7,282 posts, read 8,388,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WRolle View Post
So my cousin was born with glaucoma in both eyes. He has his life together, for all intents and purposes. He is currently in medical school. The problem is that, even though he works out and has a better abdomen than me, he has strabismus in one eye due to multiple surgeries. He already had surgery, but it had minimal impact. He says that girls automatically write him off due to his eye. He says that he has never been on a date but twice. I have a question for women, would you date a man with a minor deformity? He pretty much is on the road to success and takes care of himself.
No human being exists that does not have a minor deformity.

Getting the date with a woman is one of the easiest things to do, it is asking for it that is usually the more difficult.
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