Would you date someone with a minor deformity? (girls, head, damage)

[WRolle]

So my cousin was born with glaucoma in both eyes. He has his life together, for all intents and purposes. He is currently in medical school. The problem is that, even though he works out and has a better abdomen than me, he has strabismus in one eye due to multiple surgeries. He already had surgery, but it had minimal impact. He says that girls automatically write him off due to his eye. He says that he has never been on a date but twice. I have a question for women, would you date a man with a minor deformity? He pretty much is on the road to success and takes care of himself.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

My husband has a lazy eye. It's not a big deal to me, I could care less. He also has an 8" scar down the center of his abdomen from surgery when he was an infant. Again, doesn't matter to me, I saw it long before we got married.

If your cousin feels like his eye is really noticeable, he should get a pair of glasses, even if they're just plain glass. It will make it less obvious to people looking at him. Anyhow, if he's a med student, then there will be plenty of women who find him attractive pretty soon. I've never heard of a doctor so weird-looking that he couldn't find a wife, have you?

[Padgett2]

Well, they always dated me, so I don't guess I would refuse to date them.

[CSD610]

When I was dating I dated men I was attracted to because they are who they are. Not one aspect of him specifically but the entire man.
So yes if I was attracted to him I would date him.

[Pitt Chick]

Strabismus is not a deformity.
And what does the fact that he has a better abdomen than you have to do with his dating-ability?

[Schermerhorn]

Pitt Chick, I agree; "deformity" is probably not the right word; "visible disability" might be better.

WRolle, I am in just about the same position as your cousin. I am blind in one eye and that eye has a tendency to move to one side. My other eye has a limited visual field but (for whatever reason) doesn't move around a lot.

It's not just the position of your eye; it's also the position of your head when talking to people. Humans have a natural urge to put the iother person in the center of our field of vision, so if you have a limited field of vision, your face will appear to not be looking directly at them.

And while I had an easy enough time making female friends when I was young, I had a very difficult time attracting a partner. In fact, when I met "the one", she noticed me specifically because she has the same eye problem!

I'm sure it's a bit off-putting to "regular" people, but please try to understand that it's not easy for us visually-impaired folks. My eye has been called a lot of things ("creepy", "weird"); we would never talk this way about people with missing or damaged limbs. Why haven't we as a society extended this courtesy to other handicaps?

[easternerDC]

Maybe he needs to do a better job of picking the women he dates?

[GregW]

I pay attention to the woman's personality. Her looks dissapear in the dark.

[Ohiogirl81]

Shouldn't this be in the relationships forum?

[Schermerhorn]

Originally Posted by easternerDC

Maybe he needs to do a better job of picking the women he dates?

Easterner, I think you're misunderstanding. It's not a matter of "picking" -- it's a matter of getting any romantic attention at all. Beggars can't be choosers, unfortunately.