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Old 07-30-2013, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,874 posts, read 10,527,668 times
Reputation: 4494

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You look good and i think the clothes are ok since everyone knows the 30s are the new 20s
dress as a young person as long as you look it and you sure do
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Philippines
1,961 posts, read 4,384,622 times
Reputation: 2781
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKoolKat80 View Post
Part of the reason I posted this thread was because I had recently posted a profile to an online dating site and I'm wasn't getting hardly any responses to e-mails I had sent. Granted, that's a whole different topic in and of itself as to why that might be the case, but, I know pictures/looks are important and that's kinda what prompted this thread.
I would be willing to bet that the lack of response has less to do with the way you look than what you are writing.

Are you only sending emails to the absolute most attractive women, or women who you see a picture of and who does not initially catch your eye but at second glace you see some sort of spark after reading her profile.

Perhaps the women you are emailing get many many messages and just don't want to respond to any other than the ones that really strike them.
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
100 posts, read 119,151 times
Reputation: 260
I'm the same age range and I'm single. I think you look attractive in those pics. Good luck! I'm considering trying my luck online dating. Just be yourself!
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Old 07-31-2013, 03:06 PM
 
10 posts, read 19,043 times
Reputation: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by easternerDC View Post
I would be willing to bet that the lack of response has less to do with the way you look than what you are writing.

Are you only sending emails to the absolute most attractive women, or women who you see a picture of and who does not initially catch your eye but at second glace you see some sort of spark after reading her profile.

Perhaps the women you are emailing get many many messages and just don't want to respond to any other than the ones that really strike them.
Not to derail this thread too far, but..

All very possible. I asked a close friend of mine, a good looking female who met her fiance on match.com about her experience. She said she got 50-75 emails the first day and around 5-15 each day thereafter. She said she looked at their 1) pictures 2) job/income 3) religion 4) kids status 5) profile and email text, in that order. She isn't a gold digger, she has a good job and wanted someone equally successful.

I feel like I've been emailing all 7-8s, definitely no 10s. Looks wise, majority of the girls I've emailed are comparable to girls I've dated in the past or girls who have let me know they find me attraction. So I don't think I'm too far out of my league.

But it is very possible that they are just getting tons of messages. I'm doing all the "things" you're supposed to do in the emails 1) use a decent subject, something other than "Hi", "Hey", or "Blank" 2) Pick something out in their profile to comment on 3) Keep it reasonably short 4) Ask a question.

For the record, here is a sample emails I sent. I try to add some humor in. Don't Monday morning quarterback me too hard here!

This girl made multiple references to being a Montana native and recently relocating to the area. That was the piece that stood out to me:

Subject: A question for Montana natives

So I don't really know anything about Montana. I think it's located somewhere near Canada or maybe Alaska? Do people keep Moose or Elk as pets up there? I'm a big fishing and camping fan, all my fishing buddies like to take week long excursions up there to reconnect with nature and wear flannel, which makes sense since I think it's snowing there year round?

Just kiddin'! Although I don't really know anything about Montana other than I hear it's a place for nature lovers (and I am a big camping and fishing fan). I just wanted to say hello, I'm <XYZ>. So being a Montana native, what brought you out to <XYZ>? That seems like a big change of pace.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kgreenel View Post
I'm the same age range and I'm single. I think you look attractive in those pics. Good luck! I'm considering trying my luck online dating. Just be yourself!
Thank you! Good luck to you if you decide to give it a try.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:51 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,762 posts, read 19,968,204 times
Reputation: 43163
You look good! I don't agree with previous posters - don't shave your head!!! Leave that for later when you HAVE to. As long as you have hair and you are not balding, don't shave it off.

I like the lean, muscular look but wouldn't lose any more weight.

Don't get discouraged if the online dating is not working out as you expect. It is tough. Flakey people and too many choices and too many fakers. I got contacted by tons of people and then when I answered, they disappeared. Just weird.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,650 posts, read 60,914,057 times
Reputation: 101078
Brave post! I like that.

My honest answer is....





I think you look great. Keep on doing whatever you're doing. And I like your hairstyle. If you want to color it, fine, but it looks good just the way it is.

I think you look fine at your present weight, and I can imagine that clothes fit you better as well. But I also think you looked fine at the higher weight.

You have a good smile too - so keep smiling!
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,650 posts, read 60,914,057 times
Reputation: 101078
Oh and by the way, OP, I liked your message about Montana. I like the humorous touch.

I met my husband on match.com and we've been very happily married now for 8 years. So I can vouch for online dating! Oh, and my daughter also met her husband online as well and they've been married now for 10 years!
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Old 08-04-2013, 03:36 PM
 
Location: ATL suburb
1,364 posts, read 4,146,827 times
Reputation: 1580
Edited:
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKoolKat80 View Post
Not to derail this thread too far, but..
But it is very possible that they are just getting tons of messages. I'm doing all the "things" you're supposed to do in the emails 1) use a decent subject, something other than "Hi", "Hey", or "Blank" 2) Pick something out in their profile to comment on 3) Keep it reasonably short 4) Ask a question.

For the record, here is a sample emails I sent. I try to add some humor in. Don't Monday morning quarterback me too hard here!

This girl made multiple references to being a Montana native and recently relocating to the area. That was the piece that stood out to me:

Subject: A question for Montana natives

So I don't really know anything about Montana. I think it's located somewhere near Canada or maybe Alaska? Do people keep Moose or Elk as pets up there? I'm a big fishing and camping fan, all my fishing buddies like to take week long excursions up there to reconnect with nature and wear flannel, which makes sense since I think it's snowing there year round?

Just kiddin'! Although I don't really know anything about Montana other than I hear it's a place for nature lovers (and I am a big camping and fishing fan). I just wanted to say hello, I'm <XYZ>. So being a Montana native, what brought you out to <XYZ>? That seems like a big change of pace.
I'd be curious to read your other messages/emails. So, just as constructive criticism, I'd completely remove your first paragraph. I see where you're going with the joke about not knowing anything about Montana, but it's a bit long, and initially reads as if you're a complete moron. I initially didn't even finish the first paragraph and skipped right to the second, only for the constructive criticism. I don't know if it's the same for men, or even other women, but when I would get tons of messages from guys, if your words couldn't grab me in 5 seconds, you were toast.

(Sorry, I write, proofread, and criticize for work. Couldn't help it.)
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Old 08-04-2013, 05:46 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
7,372 posts, read 16,014,058 times
Reputation: 11867
I prefer the chick on the far right in the white dress.
Sorry, you're just not my type.
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:09 AM
 
10 posts, read 19,043 times
Reputation: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Brave post! I like that.
I think you look great. Keep on doing whatever you're doing. And I like your hairstyle. If you want to color it, fine, but it looks good just the way it is.

I think you look fine at your present weight, and I can imagine that clothes fit you better as well. But I also think you looked fine at the higher weight.

You have a good smile too - so keep smiling!
Thank you! Lots of reasons to keep smiling!

Quote:
Originally Posted by anadyr21 View Post
I'd be curious to read your other messages/emails. So, just as constructive criticism, I'd completely remove your first paragraph. I see where you're going with the joke about not knowing anything about Montana, but it's a bit long, and initially reads as if you're a complete moron. I initially didn't even finish the first paragraph and skipped right to the second, only for the constructive criticism. I don't know if it's the same for men, or even other women, but when I would get tons of messages from guys, if your words couldn't grab me in 5 seconds, you were toast.
A appreciate the advice. All of the emails I have sent have been some variation of trying to find something in the profile to make an innocuous joke about and asking a question.

You guys would rip apart any other e-mails I sent since that was probably the "best" one overall.

I just looked and in total I sent seven e-mails and received one response. That's not nearly enough apparently. The response I did receive, I went out with that girl twice and she told me a bit about her match experience and it largely mirrored mine. She said she was receiving responses from about 1 out of 10 emails she sent and she was receiving a couple emails per day, most of which she said were from guys who had kids (she was seeking without) and above her requested age range. She had a great job, an interesting well written profile, and I'd peg her at an 8.5/10 looks wise. That said, our dates went fine, but her and I seem to be looking for different things, so I don't expect we'll go out again.

Another one of my girl friends, she told me about her match experience and she said in six months she went out on five dates total. She had a great job and I'd put her at a solid 8.5/10 too. So I think part of it is just adjusting my expectations.

I am going to rewrite my profile text, adjust the pictures I am using, and possibly get some new pictures taken. I showed my profile and pictures to a couple female friends and got their input on what I wrote and which pictures to use.
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