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Old 08-23-2013, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,894 posts, read 28,206,166 times
Reputation: 26039

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk View Post
Are you saying that at 300-plus pounds that wearing a strapless dress she WON"T have a lot of arm, shoulder and neck area and some fat areas exposed? is that not the truth?

Where do I say she should lose weight to be presentable? Where do I say she can't look pretty?

In fact, I say more than once she should wear what SHE wants.
You tone is pretty negative.

And you are also assuming, her opinion on her own body is the same as your opinion on yourself. Your own post painted her features negatively.

She might love her arms, or shoulders or waist, or whatever. I don't know, I don't know her personally.
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Old 08-23-2013, 02:06 PM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,060,600 times
Reputation: 3328
No tone or disrespect intended but you suggested I re-read my post -- IMO -- implying that I had said or implied something I didn't say. If that wasn't your intent I'll take your word for it. My tone in my first post wasn't negative at all. So why did you suggest I reread my comment?
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Old 08-23-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,894 posts, read 28,206,166 times
Reputation: 26039
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk View Post
The truth is at 300+ pounds you're not going to look but so small, or cute, or beautiful. You're going to have fat arms, a large waist, fat face, etc....because you're obese.
Let me rephrase this for you on how it reads.

"You are 300 pounds, so obviously you really aren't that pretty/beautiful/cute/attractive/whatever. So give it up."

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdflk View Post
No tone or disrespect intended but you suggested I re-read my post -- IMO -- implying that I had said or implied something I didn't say. If that wasn't your intent I'll take your word for it. My tone in my first post wasn't negative at all. So why did you suggest I reread my comment?
That's pretty negative. Your post basically says, wear what you want, but it won't make you "attractive" [since you do not fit into the typical beauty standard]
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Old 08-23-2013, 02:50 PM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,060,600 times
Reputation: 3328
I have no idea how pretty is she (or how UNattractive for that matter.) I'm sure she'll look her best. (don't read into that your own subtext of -- "the best that she can be given that she's 300+ pounds." That's not what I said, nor implied. She'll look the best she can look. Just as ANY OF US can only be the best WE can be. No different.

All that matters is how SHE thinks she looks. (and her groom, of course.)
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Portlandish, OR
899 posts, read 1,450,394 times
Reputation: 928
have you tried them on? i notice that heavier gals who wear dresses like #1 end up with a lot of skin coming out over the tops of those kinds of dresses, especially at the back. If you're OK with that, then no biggie. From a photographer perspective, have realistic expectations of your dress and shape in the photos. Many people choose clothing that doesn't flatter their bodies and then expect a photographer to "fix" and smooth and slim afterward - not ideal.
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Old 08-23-2013, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,679,148 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie53 View Post
Something like this:

Absolutely stunning! and so classy!
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Old 08-23-2013, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,679,148 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by christiner81 View Post
have you tried them on? i notice that heavier gals who wear dresses like #1 end up with a lot of skin coming out over the tops of those kinds of dresses, especially at the back. If you're OK with that, then no biggie. From a photographer perspective, have realistic expectations of your dress and shape in the photos. Many people choose clothing that doesn't flatter their bodies and then expect a photographer to "fix" and smooth and slim afterward - not ideal.
Unless it's a VERY expensive dress that's been extensively taylored....and stiff as a damn board, strapless garments generally have to rely on their "tight fit", to keep them up. It's the same principle as wearing jeans that are too tight. You get a "muffin top". If you do not have a well-toned upper body, AND the right figure, sorry....but you have a 2nd story muffin top. It's not pretty and I'd sure hate to think my guests were looking at my overflow, while watching me get married.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:00 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,378,200 times
Reputation: 11918
Anyone can wear strapless if it's made properly.

It should have boning and corseting and fit you like a glove.

If you are a bigger girl and want strapless, have you thought about asymmetric?

Say one strap then a smooth angled neckline which blends into the bodice?

Angles are very flattering, one shoulder is very fashionable.

Pretty much whatever you wear, you will cringe at in 10 years, whether you're fat, skinny, in between. Fashions change.

About the only style of dress that really doesn't change is Kate Middletons, which is very very similar to my mothers, who married over 50 years ago. Still elegant, still in style...and it has long sleeves which is so, so rare these days.

For the rest of us, however, we want our "dream dress" so go with what you feel fabulous in, size or no size. Big girls are big, there's no hiding it, just like skinny girls cannot be made into curvy. You can dress to flatter of course, but you'll still be "big" or "skinny" so I say, wear what you want and screw everyone elses opinion.

It's your day.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
754 posts, read 1,232,481 times
Reputation: 879
Go with the one you love. People are already aware of your size.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:22 PM
 
23,964 posts, read 31,184,409 times
Reputation: 28623
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie53 View Post
Something like this:

THAT is a gorgeous dress! Wow!
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