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Old 09-15-2013, 09:36 AM
 
33 posts, read 163,265 times
Reputation: 40

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I wouldn't mention it to her unless she's my close friend. I think it's weird but as long as she's nice to me, I don't care.

There IS something wrong, however, if she's using that to get dates online. You can hide your homeliness with makeup in real life, but you can't hide your weight. It'd be asking for trouble.
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Old 09-15-2013, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,026 posts, read 3,566,608 times
Reputation: 4381
The situation that occurred is...

Said girl posted cute selfie online. A mutual friend, who has worked really hard and lost about 60 pounds herself, had been getting annoyed by seeing these selfies, considering she worked really hard to lose her extra weight. She posted, "photoshop much?" on the photo.... (which isn't nearly as funny as the "this photo deserves an insta-grammy" that I sometimes think when seeing them)

i am caught in the middle between these two because on one hand, I think you shouldn't point these things out, but rather be nice about it.... but on the other hand, i do see how it can be annoying and you'd like to point out, "she looks nothing like this!"

I was starting to think, "Well I use makeup to hide my imperfections, wear clothes that flatter my figure so I don't look like a fatty, dye my hair dark brown from blonde, and all of that jazz.... is it really any different?" But this friend is like "I am being bullied! Wah, wah, wah!" and I don't think pointing out something that is true ("this is photoshopped.") is necessarily being a bully, either.

It is weird to see guys she doesn't know fawn all over her and I feel bad for some of them. She is in a year and a half relationship with a guy in Illinois that I don't think she has ever met. The only photo of the two of them is one that was clearly the two of them photoshopped together. It's just an odd situation.

It just feels weird that we have so much now to hide who we really are... and if we want to look skinny, all we need to do is photoshop it.
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Old 09-15-2013, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,499 posts, read 15,953,803 times
Reputation: 38888
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ View Post
I think she has serious problems that she needs to misrepresent herself in that way. Photoshopping blemishes is cool but taking that much weight off and changing yourself entirely is weird. There was a girl on my FB who actuallly was pretty and had a nice body but she photoshopped her waist to be absurdly small and her butt to be larger than it was. It looked ridiculous and very obviously Photoshopped. You could see the building in the background suddenly curve in around her waist and outward around her hips. I posted "wow weird how the space-time continuum distorts around your waist and hips, do you have antimatter in your pocket or something?" She deleted me from her friends list lmao
Antimatter in your pocket?! ROTFL
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Old 09-15-2013, 05:36 PM
 
Location: East of the Mississippi and South of Bluegrass
4,116 posts, read 3,397,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlikeme View Post
It's not illegal to photoshop, but is photoshop just another beauty tool or is it lying to people?

I don't really know my opinion on if it is a beauty tool or not. My opinion on the situation is if someone says, "That's not really you in those photos".... it's the truth.... but if someone were wearing tons of makeup to look better in photos... i don't think you can say "that's not really you"..... but both are meant to enhance what is there.
I totally get what you're saying about both situations being similar in that something is being manpulated to appear to be what it isn't.

In the case of using makeup to camouflage unsightly blemishes I think it is more common and more acceptable because when this person ventures out into the public arena (assuming the makeup application is done in a near perfect and flawless manner) she should feel confident and attractive.

In the case of photoshopping away 240 pounds it is more akin to smoke and mirrors and hugely deceptive (to her own psyche) in that when this person ventures out into the public arena she is magically transported back to reality and 350 pounds of flesh. The only place she can "live" and be happy is in the fantasy world she has created on FB.

I can't say for sure but given the two scenarios I would much rather be the person washing my face at night and seeing whether my acne was improving than the person who can only be thin on FB, it's almost like being in the Twilight Zone and I would not want to live there.

IF, on the other hand this person IS using it as a personal tool to inspire herself to 'become' thin then maybe that's her goal. Maybe you and her acuaintances/friends should try to rally around her (depending on the type of relationship you all have together) and speak with her. Certainly not in an offensive manner nor to admonish her but to help her in some way...if you care for her.
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Old 09-15-2013, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,174 posts, read 16,536,426 times
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She's posting who she'd like to be. I know guys who have used Brad Pitt as their avatar and women who have used Marilyn Monroe. Is there really much difference? Yeah, I know there might be, as the ones who use Brad and Marilyn probably aren't trying to fool anyone, while your friend might be, but who knows. I'd let it go completely.
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Old 09-15-2013, 11:37 PM
 
Location: Czech Republic
2,385 posts, read 5,576,320 times
Reputation: 788
It's her life... It's her happiness as long as she's not stepping on other people, I don't see any problem with that.
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Old 09-17-2013, 06:48 AM
 
Location: In the Zombie Room
1,603 posts, read 2,683,580 times
Reputation: 2466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermosaa View Post
It's her life... It's her happiness as long as she's not stepping on other people, I don't see any problem with that.
^^ This.

I'm with Hermosaa - what difference does it make? It's her life let her live it the way she sees fit.

The real problem with the world today is not whether or not people misrepresent themselves online or not but the fact that people feel an overwhelming need to meddle in other people's business. I think if we all just deal with our own "house" so to speak and let others do the same. We might find all this "bullying" business that's being masked as "being honest" would disappear.
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Old 09-17-2013, 07:17 AM
 
2,429 posts, read 3,057,910 times
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1) It amazes me the questions that people actually have to ponder. "Is Photoshopping away 100 pounds, the same as wearing makeup or wearing flattering clothes?" Uh..no. Can people really not understand the difference. Really?

2) WHO specifically is bullying her?

3)
Quote:
She is in a year and a half relationship with a guy in Illinois that I don't think she has ever met.
I'm done.

The girl needs help. Period. OP, you have to decide either you accept it and continue to be an acquaintance. Or drop her and move on. Not all acquaintances develop into friends. If this is too unacceptable to you....move on from her. Plain and simple. No need to feel bad....accept for her. It's unfortunate, because she may be the nicest person ACCEPT for this. We ALL have our issues....some more 'strange,' or 'deep seeded,' than others....
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Old 09-18-2013, 10:10 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,651 posts, read 2,121,527 times
Reputation: 1684
I think she means that people are "bullying" her for criticizing her Photoshopping. I didn't know people could edit away much weight that way until an actual episode of Catfish this season. That woman was also in a long-distance relationship. Beyond tactics such as encouraging therapy and fitness and warning of lost friends and relationships if she keeps lying, there's the nuclear option of threatening to contact her boyfriend to tell him she might be fooling him about her weight.
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Old 09-18-2013, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,879 posts, read 28,182,235 times
Reputation: 26003
Maybe I should do this on all unflattering pics. .

But seriously it never occurred to me to photoshop my pics. And for me I do not photograph well without adequate lighting. Hmm. I could make so many tweaks. Add some lip gloss. Even out my skin tone. The possibilities are endless!


I am on my phone, please forgive the typos.
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