Evaluating your own attractiveness (girl, fashion, beauty, look)

[SophieLL]

This might sound dumb (it probably is), but do you think is there a way one can know their worth in terms of looks?

Yeah, i know, looks do not matter, whats important is the attitude, yada yada (ive even said this things many times) but im talking about a different thing here. You see there are many beautiful people in the world, that are just oblivious about their looks and act in life as if they were ugly, they are insecure, do not take enough care of themselves, etc. And then you also see bad looking people who act as if they were Jude Law or Natalie Portman, you know, and a lot of people also believe they are.

I have no problem with this, im all about self worth and confident people and beauty shinning from within, but i do wonder if theres a way to know how good looking one really is to, in case you are not that good looking, work in your confidence/personality and, in case you are, dont spend time moping and asking yourself "what for?" and take advantage of what has been given to you.

I ask this cause i spend 30 years of my life thinking i was ugly. Well, maybe 20 of those 30 years i thought i was literally ugly, like undesirable, repulsive, etc, and between the age of 20 and 30, since many men have told me i was beautiful, i maybe raised my status to "average" but a lot of times i felt terribly ugly. When my boyfriend told me (he did it constantly) "you are beautiful" i thought he only said it cause he loved me, and i didnt saw myself beautiful EVER, like, at all. All the time wondering why he loved me (he was extremely good looking) and thinking people in the streets must be wondering about us together and all those things people who think they are ugly do.

Anyways, this year, i dont know exactly why (my boyfriend left me in march/april after 7 years of relationship, maybe that haves something to do with it? ) call it an awakening (?) i realized i was beautiful. I mean, yeah, men started paying more attention to me after i became single, one very very interesting particular special man started chasing me, and i did got more attention in the streets, but this was too gradual, too small, compared to what really happened: what happened was that i look myself in the mirror and realized i wasnt ugly at all, i was actually beautiful. I mean really gorgeous. It was insane, like a Kafka story. Literally surreal


It was like Gregor Samsa from the Metamorphosis, but the other way around


ok, maybe im exxagerating a bit but it was something like this. Weirder thing, after having that revelation in May, i ve never seen myself ugly again. And no, i dont look thinner, my hair looks the same, face exact same, i look just like i did in March, but i feel a millon times more beautiful, like if i was freaking Jessica Alba instead of a very ugly woman.

Anyways, point is, how to know? cause im not the only one thats like this. I know plenty of beautiful people who still think they are ugly. And its useless if you tell them "oh come on, you are really pretty" cause they dont care. I was there, i ve been told i was pretty since being a little kid by my parents and adults surrounding me and ive never listened. It took me 30 years to realize it on my own, still dont know what exactly triggered it.
How can you help a person know exactly how their looks are? (i do have a friend that worries me with her low self esteem, when she is really pretty, and i recognize myself in her too), do you know exactly how attractive you are? if you do, how so? cause im clueless about it being oblivious about my real looks for 30 years

[Cattknap]

I mean this in the nicest of terms: Get a life.

[SophieLL]

lol, this is a forum to discuss meaningless stuff like own perception of beauty. Dont read it if you dont like it

was just reading this thread in this same forum How do you know if you really are pretty? and was shocked to read my own comments of this past februray when i reffer to myself as "ugly" or "unatractive" when i would never say those words about me now. Its so weird how one perception can change so dramatically and im interested to know how this can happen and how one can actually objectively evaluate their own beauty.

[katie45]

Have you seen an actor in different roles and find that he or she may look attractive in one role, but very unattractive in another role? It's telling you that your attitude and how you present yourself is how others view you.

[SophieLL]

Originally Posted by katie45

Have you seen an actor in different roles and find that he or she may look attractive in one role, but very unattractive in another role? It's telling you that your attitude and how you present yourself is how others view you.

Yeah i do think that too. But can attitude change your perception of your looks completely? or maybe being insecure can blind you so much into thinking you are ugly?

there are even posters here who refeer themselves as ugly who im sure are super beautiful and just insecure, and if they actually could see themselves in the mirror for who they are, their world would change completely.

[katie45]

Originally Posted by SophieLL

Yeah i do think that too. But can attitude change your perception of your looks completely? or maybe being insecure can blind you so much into thinking you are ugly?

Some people are so hung up on themselves they usually could care less what others think; it's more important to them what they think of themselves. For those types, there's little hope. And I'm only referring to 'looks', not what is in their heart.

[kevxu]

Originally Posted by SophieLL

This might sound dumb (it probably is), but do you think is there a way one can know their worth in terms of looks?...

When you are totally and infallibly honest.

I look in the mirror and I see a Geriatric Love God.

When you are hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not. And I am the former without a doubt. I have seventy-five years of experience, at this point you don't have to "know" how drop-dead gorgeous you are, you just be it.

[stepka]

Good point kevxu and one of the saddest things in my life was to realize how pretty I used to be. I don't think I was beautiful but I was very pretty and didn't realize it till it was fading. I think as we get older we get more confident and that helps our perception.

The last man I dated really did a number on my confidence though. He told me I was beautiful 50x a day till I almost got tired of hearing it, only to find out 9 months in that he really didn't find me attractive at all and was just after someone with a retirement account and the idiot was 12 y. older than me. I'm not going to let it set me back too much though b/c I suspect narcissism to an extreme there. So I guess what I'm saying here is that I get my perception of my own beauty from the way other people react to me and if lots of men are behaving in a positive way towards me then I feel good and if no one has looked me in the eye for a month then I feel not so good about my looks and I know that's stupid but how else would you know? What's confusing to me is when I see a man my age and check him out and he never once looks my way and then the man behind him who is 20 years younger than either of is is openly admiring and who knows where that comes from but I get mixed messages like that all the time at 54.

[Duchamp Dude]

I think I'm a 10. I used to think I was a 5 (Mr. Modest), but my girlfriend keeps saying I'm so hot that she gets butterflies every time. So I rewrote my own score to 10

[ovi8]

Ms. Alba is naturally beautiful because she has a symmetrical face and nice eyes. Everything else is just added fluff for the cameras.

I honestly cannot tell if a guy is good looking or not, including myself. I would guess that an actor is a 9+ and my wife would ask if I'm kidding. Never was able to accurately judge. Unless a guy is obviously model material, they're all the same to me.