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Old 11-01-2013, 08:08 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,417 posts, read 25,434,628 times
Reputation: 19425

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Strange post, IMO. In high school, I was just as pretty as the other girls, but I didn't behave the way the rest of them did. For the most part, they acted as though they were better than everyone else. They stuck with their own group and looked down upon all of the other groups.

High school was full of groups of different types of kids back then. Cliques. I don't know how it is now. I talked to everyone, and I was above no one. I am the same way now.

Now, I consider myself to be rather plain jane, and I am fine with that.

At my last job, there were a group of pretty, young girls who found people to pick on for one reason or another. These girls were just carrying their high school antics into an adult work situation.

It gets rather old, if you ask me, and is pretty disrespectful.
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Greenwood Village Colorado
324 posts, read 421,836 times
Reputation: 310
I am wondering if looks aren't the problem. I am friends with women who are heavy, homely, plain, average, older, pretty and gorgeous. It boils down to personality. Are they nice to me? Are fun? Are they easy to talk to or have a lot in common?

I don't know in your situation, but maybe if you tried being nice to other women you might be surprised.
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Old 11-01-2013, 10:20 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 3,848,488 times
Reputation: 4673
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom View Post
Many women cant stand beautiful women - that's just the way it is - they feel very threatened - try to ignore them and be proud of your good looks - sneer right back at them - enjoy it while you can because it wont last forever. When I was in my early 20s I was very good looking and many women were very mean to me. Most ugly women are very mean.

Get involved with people who don't care about looks at much - or confident people that don't care how beautiful you are. volunteer at an animal shelter.
Similar story--good advice. In my 20s some one was always starting drama with me because they had feelings and baggage about how I looked. Mostly women who as you say felt threatened in some way, but also males who if rejected accused me of being stuck up. But I learned rather early it doesn't matter if someone thinks you're "stuck-up" just because you have standards. They're just angry because in a certain instance they were unable to meet them.
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Old 11-01-2013, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Greenwood Village Colorado
324 posts, read 421,836 times
Reputation: 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
Similar story--good advice. In my 20s some one was always starting drama with me because they had feelings and baggage about how I looked. Mostly women who as you say felt threatened in some way, but also males who if rejected accused me of being stuck up. But I learned rather early it doesn't matter if someone thinks you're "stuck-up" just because you have standards. They're just angry because in a certain instance they were unable to meet them.

There is always going to be b^tches who will start fights with people no matter what. Doesn't have to come down to appearance for them.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:16 AM
 
8,406 posts, read 16,828,703 times
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I realized after I was out of my twenties that I had thought I was much more important and interesting to others than was the reality. I'd also dated a couple models, one of whom was stunning by any standards. Not once ever did I see the behavior OP spoke of, not even by her catty model peers. Maybe OP is surrounded by a different type of people than we ever were, or is reading in far too much from the glances of others. Being 20 suggests she has little life experience to draw from.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:42 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
9,690 posts, read 14,656,320 times
Reputation: 20736
I've had a few friends who thought they were totally gorgeous.

When the friendships ended, it was never because I didn't want to be friends with someone pretty, it was because they had some defect in their personality...one of the women was always going on about how she was in her starter marriage and she couldn't wait to move up to someone better than a bus mechanic. Her child was the spawn of satan...we could never be around the kid for more than ten minutes before she had bitten both of my kids.

I don't care at all what a person looks like, if they aren't a nice person, I'm not going to continue the friendship. I'm not saying that the OP is not a nice person, but if it seems like most of the people she encounters have a problem, then maybe the problem is hers, not theirs.
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:37 PM
 
994 posts, read 985,472 times
Reputation: 1962
Who cares how others stare at you?

I get hit on regularly and command attention of any room that I enter because I have such a striking appearance (tall, hourglass figure, longish wavy hair, light brown skin). It baffles me whenever girls make threads like this because I've never had an issue making girl friends due to my looks unless I let my attitude get in the way. Sure, there's a minor expectation from others for me to be aloof or haughty, but I can knock those preconceptions out of the way by NOT being a b*tch. If you're walking with your head held high, you shouldn't be able to see haters' stares anyway.

Also, it sounds to me like you have it so locked into your head that you're gorgeous and women are jealous of you, that you're probably overestimating just how many people are looking your way. And jealousy from gay men? PUH-LEASE! What universe are you living in? Gay guys ADORE pretty women! If any generalization can be made, it's that gay guys prefer the company of a pretty woman to a homely one.

Good looks are nothing without confidence, and confidence is something that YOU own - not what others give you. So, work on it, honey, otherwise you're just wasting those supposed good looks of yours.
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:51 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
7,368 posts, read 4,338,593 times
Reputation: 8824
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion View Post
As I get older, I encounter more & more problems because of my looks. I've never been ugly, but I was a plain girl growing up. Now that I'm 20, my face has thinned some & my features stand out. Adjusting to the stares & attention has been crazy! I realize I'm attractive from ppl telling me (and the jealousy I receive from women & gay men) but i still feel like that plain little girl inside. I've had women idk roll their eyes at me, try to fight me, or just being standoffish. I can honestly say I'm humble & don't give them reasons to hate me. But it's as if they're set on hating me before getting to know me! It hurts being judged on something so shallow. Girls will talk with me 1 day & be mean & ignore me the next.I often suspect I don't realize just how intimidating my looks are. I walk into a room & the whole atmosphere changes. Women act so irritated by my presence! The treatment I receive from others because of my looks makes me self conscious. I don't believe in changing who you are for approval so how can I stop caring how ppl feel about me & learn to accept myself? Thanks!
"Don't hate me because I am beautiful......"

Shallowness is worrying about it......
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:56 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
7,368 posts, read 4,338,593 times
Reputation: 8824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
I've had a few friends who thought they were totally gorgeous.

When the friendships ended, it was never because I didn't want to be friends with someone pretty, it was because they had some defect in their personality...one of the women was always going on about how she was in her starter marriage and she couldn't wait to move up to someone better than a bus mechanic. Her child was the spawn of satan...we could never be around the kid for more than ten minutes before she had bitten both of my kids.

I don't care at all what a person looks like, if they aren't a nice person, I'm not going to continue the friendship. I'm not saying that the OP is not a nice person, but if it seems like most of the people she encounters have a problem, then maybe the problem is hers, not theirs.
It's true, and once you get to know someone their looks become secondary to the way the person acts.
In fact, you may get to where you don't even notice the way the person looks.
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Old 11-01-2013, 02:40 PM
 
1,451 posts, read 1,537,778 times
Reputation: 2400
If it's happening over and over with a LOT of people, maybe you are giving off a vibe... or assuming too quick that's what it is. I also can't believe gay men would be acting this way! I'm average looking and I never treat another woman this way! I've had friends of all looks range. To act as if all women who don't look as "good as you" are all just jealous meanies with insecurities because you are "so fine" is ridiculous. Come down from your high horse and give others a chance, too. Maybe that's the problem, too. Maybe you need to give others a chance as well. Perhaps they are sensing this mood about you and that is what is putting them off just the same. Open yourself up, be friendly, get involved in some different activities, charities, be friendly, try again. I have a hard time believing that EVERYONE you come into contact just writes you off. When I was younger and would put in some effort, I was pretty hot (big fish in a small pond/small town) I had maybe one or two females that would treat me that way, but most women are reasonable and would not behave that way. I can't believe that everyone you encounter is going to alienate you.
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