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Old 11-13-2013, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Here
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
Well, I have seen family and friends improve their self-esteem through various cosmetic surgeries. Such surgeries are popular because in the vast majority of cases, they have a positive result---otherwise, the procedures wouldn't be so prevalent. There were $11 BILLION worth of them in 2012. All those people didn't have a mental health disorder.
Not that I am doubting your story, but plastic surgery is popular because people think it will boost their self-esteem. In order to actually boost your self-esteem, you have to find the true root cause of the issue. Sometimes people think that surgery will fix their problem area, when the real problem is that this significant others (or people they find significant) aren't giving them enough attention, compliments, etc and they really just need validation they are worthy of attention/love/happiness/positive feelings.
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Old 11-13-2013, 07:24 PM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,279 posts, read 10,566,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Not that I am doubting your story, but plastic surgery is popular because people think it will boost their self-esteem. In order to actually boost your self-esteem, you have to find the true root cause of the issue. Sometimes people think that surgery will fix their problem area, when the real problem is that this significant others (or people they find significant) aren't giving them enough attention, compliments, etc and they really just need validation they are worthy of attention/love/happiness/positive feelings.
I see your point, but it is mostly true for people who are "others" focused.

Some people though, probably the other 50% just to say it, get their self-esteem from their own evaluation of themselves and how they're doing. They decide for themselves how they want to look, sometimes as a reflection of who they want to be, exteriorized. In many cases, family, friends and spouses try to talk them out of having a procedure, but the person persists. People who have gone through emotional trauma that has left its mark physically shouldn't have to look at the pain over and over again in the mirror.

And of course, there is a long history in homo sapiens, continuing right up to today, of altering their looks to their liking, or to their cultural norms.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
18,987 posts, read 12,570,291 times
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What's wrong with almond eyes?

The vast majority of humans are only average looking, at best. Its what you do with what you inherited, and how you view yourself that makes you the person people want to be with.

I agree with most of the suggestions, and you could try any of these: find a therapist who can help you talk through your feelings of inferiority; join a group or cause that does good for people and be involved in doing positive things; try to change the self talk in your head from negative statements to positive; become really good in something that brings you recognition; develop your body; develop your mind; do a good deed every day.

Especially if misery and depression run in your family, I'd see a mental health professional to see if you might need a little medical help, especially if your feelings of unhappiness keep you from doing things you would normally want to do.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:53 AM
 
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To me when a person states they are miserable and they want to be known for their looks there is more going on inside that person then just appearance. So just getting surgery will not solve that. It could even make things within the person worse when if they get let down.
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Old 11-14-2013, 02:11 AM
 
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Nightlysparrow nailed it.

After years of being looked down upon because of my appearance I am willing to go through plastic surgery to improve it. Now I am a young guy, 20 yrs old, so that might have to do with me being around so many shallow people but in the end I don't want people to respect me for my mind or what I say. I want to be the Channing Tatum or the Brad Pitt in the room. As I said, in the back of my head I know the genetics aren't there. Yet what I do know is that surgery exists that can make up for it. I don't have any facial deformities or anything severe that surgery can't fix.

Do you guys think I should give it some time and wait until I grow into my looks or should I get surgery as soon as I can? I have read about guys like Leonardo DiCaprio and Henry Cavill growing into their looks, same with Cristiano Ronaldo. Yet my problem is that I have a round face so that makes things exponentially worse for me in this regard.
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Old 11-14-2013, 02:23 AM
 
7,099 posts, read 23,930,372 times
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[quote=Libertine The Great;32224052]Nightlysparrow nailed it.

After years of being looked down upon because of my appearance I am willing to go through plastic surgery to improve it. Now I am a young guy, 20 yrs old, ...........

At 20, you don't even have your adult look yet. Try growing up a bit more. Too soon for corrective surgery. Are you sure that you have been "looked down on" because of your looks? Your imagination could be working overtime.
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Old 11-14-2013, 03:34 AM
 
17,199 posts, read 22,241,590 times
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look thru your own eyes, if you look thru the mirror of everyone else's eyes, you are assuming what they see.



why would you value the assumed opinions of yourself, over the truths you already know??

part of maturity is realizing everyone is pretty much f----- up
we all have squirrels running around in our head


look at the tabloids, even the pretty and rich folks are totally f----- up




you need to settle some demons, then you will see more clearly and less harsh
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Old 11-14-2013, 07:54 AM
 
760 posts, read 2,111,687 times
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I'm in the same boat as you looks-wise, but much older. What I found out is that if you *get out there* you can date all sorts of people and generally make most of what you want happen. To get over the anxiety of getting out there, therapy can help.
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Old 11-14-2013, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,906 posts, read 28,241,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Libertine The Great View Post
Nightlysparrow nailed it.

After years of being looked down upon because of my appearance I am willing to go through plastic surgery to improve it. Now I am a young guy, 20 yrs old, so that might have to do with me being around so many shallow people but in the end I don't want people to respect me for my mind or what I say. I want to be the Channing Tatum or the Brad Pitt in the room. As I said, in the back of my head I know the genetics aren't there. Yet what I do know is that surgery exists that can make up for it. I don't have any facial deformities or anything severe that surgery can't fix.

Do you guys think I should give it some time and wait until I grow into my looks or should I get surgery as soon as I can? I have read about guys like Leonardo DiCaprio and Henry Cavill growing into their looks, same with Cristiano Ronaldo. Yet my problem is that I have a round face so that makes things exponentially worse for me in this regard.
Grow into your looks. At 20 a round face can make you look younger, and it takes most men until like 23-5 to start grieving into their looks.


On an autocorrecting iDevice.
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