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Old 11-25-2007, 07:18 PM
 
Location: Working on relocating
800 posts, read 3,893,152 times
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Thanks and hugs for the replies! I've done some more research and really, what women wear for a black tie event depends on two factors 1) the time of year 2) the region in the U.S. Mine will be in San Diego in January, as I mentioned in my original post

Also, I'm 35 and have never ever looked sexy until recently. But, sexy can be done in a classy way. To me, sexy is exuded via personality not clothing I never wear anything plunging by the way. Also, I have major ankle problems so I can't really wear any heels higher than 3 inches...I'll have pain for 6 months after wearing anything higher than 3 inches.

And, gosh, when did 35 become old suddenly? I look more like I'm 23-24--honestly. I also am short, maybe 5 ft. 2, wear a size 2-4, so I do pretty better than sophisticated. I'm too cute for my own good. That may sound conceited, but I'm really down-to-earth. I hope honestly this is the only black tie dinner I have to go to--ever So, I really don't feel like investing a ton of money on one dress I'll probably only wear once.

And, the event says for guys that it doesn't have to be a tuxedo...it can be a dark suit, by the way. It's Southern California--the rules are more lax in fashion usually--I thought. We won't wear flip flops or Sanuk shoes, so no worries

It's logistically not fun to plan this 'cause we're not from San Diego and will have to fly with all of our formal clothing...not fun. Thank goodness hotels have steam irons, huh? Or concierge to send it out for you Yes, I hate ironing I'm a princess and the princess doesn't iron

So, a Lucky 13 dress is not appropriate, I get it. But, the people I usually hang out with are in bands and would not judge anyone based on dress. I can let all of that go and just subscribe to the mainstream fashion rules for a black tie event. I just don't understand all of the fuss--sorry, my bad...I'm just a punk rocker from Detroit I run my company from home so I don't have much need for more than jeans and t-shirts

But, you guys rule...I've been educated, amused, and enlightened. I'm very grateful for the help Thank you so much!

I'm going to Macy's tomorrow and getting a personal shopper...Maybe get some after Christmas sale or deal on a dress

Hugs,
AB
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Old 11-26-2007, 06:38 AM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
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Quote:
I hope honestly this is the only black tie dinner I have to go to--ever So, I really don't feel like investing a ton of money on one dress I'll probably only wear once.
I feel the same way. And, you know what?
I went to an "upper class" and nice "second hand store"....found an awesome dress (very expensive brand...but, the original owner didn't want it anymore!!! Me? I paid $60 for it!) had it dry cleaned and altered, and VOILA!
To be honest, it was one of the best dresses (and the cheapest) I have ever owned!
Got tons of compliments.....and when I said I got it for $60 dollars, they thought I used that as a joke and ice breaker...ROTFL!
Worth looking into, especially if this will be an almost once in a lifetime occasion.
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Old 11-26-2007, 06:53 AM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,402 posts, read 11,982,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel Bear View Post
Thanks and hugs for the replies! I've done some more research and really, what women wear for a black tie event depends on two factors 1) the time of year 2) the region in the U.S. Mine will be in San Diego in January, as I mentioned in my original post
Hey.... what are the rules for the time of year and region? I'm attending a formal christmas party event for work that is supposed to be as formal as you can get, without being strictly "tux" or "black tie" and I already have my dress lined up and everything now.. was wondering what "rules" you ran into though! So I could run them across what I was planning to wear.
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Old 11-26-2007, 09:45 AM
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Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,564,608 times
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Originally Posted by Fiddlekitten View Post
Hey.... what are the rules for the time of year and region? I'm attending a formal christmas party event for work that is supposed to be as formal as you can get, without being strictly "tux" or "black tie" and I already have my dress lined up and everything now.. was wondering what "rules" you ran into though! So I could run them across what I was planning to wear.
You will post some pic's, right? ....Pleazzzeeeeeee, pretty pleazzzzzzzeeeeeeee
Would LOVE to see the dress you chose!
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Old 11-26-2007, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Working on relocating
800 posts, read 3,893,152 times
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MovingBack,
I like the idea of consignment! I haven't shopped at one in years--since college--I forgot about them LOL. I am a vintage type of girl--I like the designs of the 1940's for formal wear. Yeah, I'm not a "fashionista" for this modern time we live in, but perhaps about 60 years ago I would be in style Thanks I will check out the consignment store...I forgot about this option. I may ask around too of my friends--most are bigger than me though...hmm.

Fiddlekitten,
I didn't bookmark anything in my research. I was overwhelmed because there is so many varying degrees of opinion about black tie events and what to wear. I just did a ton of Googling and read what came up...I read some stuff on About.com and some other generic websites too.

Other notes...I dislike rules too much to follow some set of guidelines about what you're supposed to wear. I'm just going to get a simple black dress that is long-ish but not floor length and some black 3 inch heels. I suppose had I not bought a $1000 Gretsch guitar yesterday, I could afford a diamond necklace--ha ha ha! I have way different priorities I guess

I'm thinking this is not my first and last black tie event. Oh well, I'll be fine

Hugs and thanks!,
AB
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Old 11-26-2007, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Working on relocating
800 posts, read 3,893,152 times
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I'm laughing and super relieved! No black tie event! They changed it to a dressy informal event! Yes!!! Hee hee!

But, I'm now well-educated on what to wear if this presents again in the future
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Old 11-26-2007, 01:24 PM
 
3,567 posts, read 7,515,438 times
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Originally Posted by Angel Bear View Post
I'm laughing and super relieved! No black tie event! They changed it to a dressy informal event! Yes!!! Hee hee!

But, I'm now well-educated on what to wear if this presents again in the future
The best thing you can do is actually to just ask someone whose job it is iRL to dress you. Sure, it'll cost a lot, but it's worth it.

I need to charge my friends for my services.
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Old 11-26-2007, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Working on relocating
800 posts, read 3,893,152 times
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I have some fashion forward friends in my mixed group of artists, writers, and musicians. We're artsy and stylish in a non-mainstream way. I forgot I could have asked a few friends of mine to help dress me Oops! I come to message boards way too much I think

I highly appreciate fashion as an art form, but I'd like it to have less snobbery. I'd buy more up to date or high fashion if people were nice in the stores. Maybe I just need to shop at friendlier places

I just don't get why people get all uppity. It's clothing, not world hunger! I know that sounds judgmental or mean, but honestly, if fashion people took the time to educate those of us who are no so enlightened and did it in a nice, friendly, non-condescending way--the world would be a prettier place...literally and figuratively.

Actually, I wish I could sew better. I'd love to make my own clothes That would be fun I think.

Where are the down-to-earth companies and people? Time to research...
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Old 11-26-2007, 06:49 PM
 
3,567 posts, read 7,515,438 times
Reputation: 2854
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel Bear View Post
I have some fashion forward friends in my mixed group of artists, writers, and musicians. We're artsy and stylish in a non-mainstream way. I forgot I could have asked a few friends of mine to help dress me Oops! I come to message boards way too much I think

I highly appreciate fashion as an art form, but I'd like it to have less snobbery. I'd buy more up to date or high fashion if people were nice in the stores. Maybe I just need to shop at friendlier places

I just don't get why people get all uppity. It's clothing, not world hunger! I know that sounds judgmental or mean, but honestly, if fashion people took the time to educate those of us who are no so enlightened and did it in a nice, friendly, non-condescending way--the world would be a prettier place...literally and figuratively.

Actually, I wish I could sew better. I'd love to make my own clothes That would be fun I think.

Where are the down-to-earth companies and people? Time to research...
Pfft. You're approaching this with the wrong attitude. You're going into the shop to look fabulous; who gives a rat's ass what they think? They're sales people at a department store. If their opinions mattered they'd be designing, not selling.
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Old 11-27-2007, 05:23 AM
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Location: Sebastian/ FL
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Originally Posted by coldwine View Post
Pfft. You're approaching this with the wrong attitude. You're going into the shop to look fabulous; who gives a rat's ass what they think? They're sales people at a department store. If their opinions mattered they'd be designing, not selling.
I would kind of stated it the same....just not as harsh as the pp.
Most Sales people live and make money on commission....so, yes, they HAVE to be nice, to sell something.
That's the beautiful choice, YOU AS A CONSUMER and CUSTOMER have....either look for the perfect sales person which suits you, or take your business elsewhere.
I encountered some snooty sales person.....I went over to her manager and ask her, if she could take care of me, since her staff member didn't suit me with her attitude!
I have NO QUALMS about "blowing the whistle" at all, since I am in the service industry myself, dealing with customers EVERY DAY!
If I am snooty, have an attitude, a crappy mood, hate my job.....then I DON'T BELONG IN THAT JOB, and it's time to find a new one. That's another beautiful choice people have...if you don't like it, QUIT!
I have to say though...most of the time, wherever I go, sales people are really helpful, knowledgeable and nice, and I am not letting a few bad apples spoil the entire bunch!
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