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This is not my experience at all. The black women I do that have "issues" with black men who choose to date out have issues with the subset of those black men who frame their decision to date out as a function of some sort of "defect" of black women rooted in stereotypes. We do not meet to specify what those are, as they have already been well illustrated in this thread.
People like who they like. Sometimes (or a lot of the times) these preferences are rooted in stereotypes or unconscious biases about people in or out of their own group. I always have to wonder what someone's true intent or motivation is, for excessively dating outside of their ethnic group. These reasons are the basis of "criticism" someone might feel toward someone who refuses to date their own group.
Personally, without delving too deeply here, I have been all over the map on my dating "preferences." I have always maintained diverse groups of friends and found it easy to connect with people from other groups, no matter their ethnicity, religion or nationality. All of this makes no difference for me in friendships or attraction.
Where I do waiver, is 100% based on how I feel any pairing of mine would be seen to the broader world. For this I am on the fence for both intra and interracial pairings for myself.
I generally agree with this.
Because BW have lower value in the dating market, I think that many white guys can get a hotter black girl than they could a white girl. I often notice the same thing with White Man-Asian Woman pairings. The Asian girls that some white guys can pull are hotter than the typical white woman they could pull. That's because "whiteness" carries more purchasing power in the dating market. It's like taking British pounds to Thailand and going hog wild.
Because BW have lower value in the dating market, I think that many white guys can get a hotter black girl than they could a white girl. I often notice the same thing with White Man-Asian Woman pairings. The Asian girls that some white guys can pull are hotter than the typical white woman they could pull. That's because "whiteness" carries more purchasing power in the dating market. It's like taking British pounds to Thailand and going hog wild.
Rubbish, I don't believe BW have a lower value in the dating market at all. Your polls don't corroborate this assertion. It really does depend on the White guy and the girl. If you're dealing with a looks conscious woman of any race, the White guy has to come correct himself. I really don't think a "5" White guy on the looks scale would pull an "8" + Black (or any other) girl unless there are other variables -- he has a great personality, shares common interests, great career, or something else to compensate for his average looks. Please don't tell me this particular White male has more purchasing power.
Saying what you posted is insulting to black women. Would you say that to your future daughter? ("Sweetie, you have a lower dating value than X...so, I guess you should get used to either being surrounded by cats or having to settle")
I didn't think so. My daughters will do just fine in the dating arena when they come of age (which, I hope is a LOOOOONG way from now).
This thread is not about black women, is it? Please note the thread's title. Secondly, and I'll repeat again, black women absolutely do not care about who or what an Asian man is doing or dating. Why would they? The only reason why someone would care is if they were ardently pursuing Asian men and they were maybe rejected by one? Who knows. I can tell you this, though. Black women aren't exactly lining up to date Asian men. Sure, they won't exclude them, but statistically the number of Black women seeking Asian male partners isn't nearly as much as Black women seeking Black men and White men. The Black women I've seen in IRs are usually with White men, followed by Latino men. So, again, unless they are ardently pursuing Asian men as mates, I don't understand why random girls would pour fire and brimstone on you for dating whoever. Also, just like you like White girls, there are Asian men who have no problems dating non-White women, including black. When I had dated my boyfriend back in the early 2000s, an Asian male dating someone non-Asian, or better yet, non-White, was about as common as a unicorn sighting (btw, the people giving us the evil eye weren't black women ) but now? Pshhh, look all over the internet and you can find sites with Asian males and Black women. There is a lovely site of a Black woman married to a Japanese man, with two children, living in Japan. IRL here in Austin I have seen Asian and Hispanic.
In your quickness to attack Joy, you fail to acknowledge that it is so..many Asian guys tend to date other Asians and happily do so. Not everyone is into IR and there is a shared cultural aspect as well. I know this, because when I dated my ex, many in his circle were fellow Asians. The AM/WF isn't exactly the most common IR pairing in my area...I see far more B/W pairings. You date White women... that doesn't make you special, any more than it makes me special for dating whoever.
I'll reiterate, because your personal dating choices mean so little to anyone, especially Black people, I fail to see the validity in your claim that a random Black woman confronted you and your Caucasian sweetie. That's just a plain mind boggler, dude. Frankly, the confident Black women that I know wouldn't give a flying leap about some minority guys dating White people and you want to know why? They are either happily married/dating people of their choice. They are single (at least before marriage), without children, and have good jobs. Unlike your stereotypical caricature of Black women as angry banshees, they have a lot going on for them and their circles include a variety of people. They laugh and enjoy their lives.
BTW, I am not white, and I have had ZERO issues dating anyone regardless of race and I've dated them all. I frankly don't care who is dating who, as long as the guy I was with was with me.
Thank you and you are correct! Not even sure why this is even about black women, when it has nothing to do with the OP.
Rubbish, I don't believe BW have a lower value in the dating market at all. Your polls don't corroborate this assertion. It really does depend on the White guy and the girl. If you're dealing with a looks conscious woman of any race, the White guy has to come correct himself. I really don't think a "5" White guy on the looks scale would pull an "8" + Black (or any other) girl unless there are other variables -- he has a great personality, shares common interests, great career, or something else to compensate for his average looks. Please don't tell me this particular White male has more purchasing power.
Saying what you posted is insulting to black women. Would you say that to your future daughter? ("Sweetie, you have a lower dating value than X...so, I guess you should get used to either being surrounded by cats or having to settle")
I didn't think so. My daughters will do just fine in the dating arena when they come of age (which, I hope is a LOOOOONG way from now).
It's silly. Today I saw what probably would be considered an unattractive black woman, with what would be considered an unattractive white man lol. I've seen combinations of people that are either attractive(both people respectively), unattractive, average, or one partner might be more attractive than the other. I see this with every race, TBH. I have yet to see an unattractive or average white man, with a very attractive black woman IRL, I just have not seen it. What I have seen, is people of similar attractiveness dating each other, irregardless of race. There are always exceptions to this, but in general that is what I've observed. The idea that only a hot black woman has a shot in the dating market, is just as silly as the argument that black men only date ugly fat white women, that asian men are feminine and have small peens and can't date either, and a host of other stereotypical garbage that people often rely on(without concrete evidence) to undermine the desirably of those within that particular group.
Not to mention the fact that not every woman is even remotely interested in the same thing. A black woman might be attracted to a white man, and so maybe the idea that she has to be extremely attractive to get a particular white man would be concerning to her, however for a black woman that has no interest in white men why would she care what she would have to look like to attract one? I'll repeat again, most people are only concerned with attracting those that they are attracted to. If a man is not attractive to a woman, than she will not give a ***** about whether he wants her or not.
BajanYankee,
I don't define my "value" in the market based on what a white man thinks about me, or what any man thinks about me beyond the men that I'm attracted to and that meet my physical preference. If I am able to attract the men that meet my physical preference then that tells me what my value is. After all, the best way to examine your standards is if you are able to attract and DATE men that meet your standards, if you can not ever attract or date these types of men then your in a situation like the OP... If you CAN attract and date the people that meet your standards and that you physically prefer then you have nothing to worry about. I have said it on other threads, in all my life, every single man that I have ever been attracted to, has been attracted to me as well. The men that I wanted to date, wanted to date me. My physical type found me attractive. Ironically the last two guys I dated, that met my physical preferences(tall, athletic, muscular black men) were both black men that only dated white women, and that didn't prefer black women at all. Yet these two men PURSUED and dated me. Both told me I was very attractive, one even took me to an event with his friends, who had pulled me aside and admitted to me that they were surprised to see him with me because he didn't date black women.
If I would have limited myself based on the notion that I'm not physically attractive to some men, then I wouldn't have ever even attempted to give these two particular guys a chance because I wouldn't have thought I had a chance with them. However, because I don't put limits on my desirability, I can safely say that I have not experienced a situation like the OP where a group of men that I wanted did not want me back. Either my standards are not set too high that I cannot reach them, OR I'm desirable and attractive enough to "pull" the men that I want to pull. The same cannot be said about the OP... So let's refocus on that, instead of this silliness that has resulted in individuals trying to talk about a black woman's desirability.
I have mainly faced issues from other minority groups for dating White women.
In the US, white women--in particular, slender, big-boobed, blue-eyed blondes--are pressed all around by society as the epitome of beauty, the standard...and women of other types of beauty frequently display annoyance with men who have blindly bought off on it.
Especially when a man doesn't appreciate the beauty of his own mother. Having a broad appreciation of different kinds of beauty is one thing, but when one's appreciation doesn't include the type of beauty his own mother represents, that's suggestive of a problem.
In my entire life, I have never seen a black woman who I have even remotely considered attractive.
And no, before I get the inevitable "you're a racist!!!" posts, I don't hate black people. I have a great deal of respect for a couple of black people that I work with. I just don't find black women attractive at all.
It's silly. Today I saw what probably would be considered an unattractive black woman, with what would be considered an unattractive white man lol. I've seen combinations of people that are either attractive(both people respectively), unattractive, average, or one partner might be more attractive than the other. I see this with every race, TBH. I have yet to see an unattractive or average white man, with a very attractive black woman IRL, I just have not seen it. What I have seen, is people of similar attractiveness dating each other, irregardless of race. There are always exceptions to this, but in general that is what I've observed. The idea that only a hot black woman has a shot in the dating market, is just as silly as the argument that black men only date ugly fat white women, that asian men are feminine and have small peens and can't date either, and a host of other stereotypical garbage that people often rely on(without concrete evidence) to undermine the desirably of those within that particular group.
Not to mention the fact that not every woman is even remotely interested in the same thing. A black woman might be attracted to a white man, and so maybe the idea that she has to be extremely attractive to get a particular white man would be concerning to her, however for a black woman that has no interest in white men why would she care what she would have to look like to attract one? I'll repeat again, most people are only concerned with attracting those that they are attracted to. If a man is not attractive to a woman, than she will not give a ***** about whether he wants her or not.
BajanYankee,
I don't define my "value" in the market based on what a white man thinks about me, or what any man thinks about me beyond the men that I'm attracted to and that meet my physical preference. If I am able to attract the men that meet my physical preference then that tells me what my value is. After all, the best way to examine your standards is if you are able to attract and DATE men that meet your standards, if you can not ever attract or date these types of men then your in a situation like the OP... If you CAN attract and date the people that meet your standards and that you physically prefer then you have nothing to worry about. I have said it on other threads, in all my life, every single man that I have ever been attracted to, has been attracted to me as well. The men that I wanted to date, wanted to date me. My physical type found me attractive. Ironically the last two guys I dated, that met my physical preferences(tall, athletic, muscular black men) were both black men that only dated white women, and that didn't prefer black women at all. Yet these two men PURSUED and dated me. Both told me I was very attractive, one even took me to an event with his friends, who had pulled me aside and admitted to me that they were surprised to see him with me because he didn't date black women.
If I would have limited myself based on the notion that I'm not physically attractive to some men, then I wouldn't have ever even attempted to give these two particular guys a chance because I wouldn't have thought I had a chance with them. However, because I don't put limits on my desirability, I can safely say that I have not experienced a situation like the OP where a group of men that I wanted did not want me back. Either my standards are not set too high that I cannot reach them, OR I'm desirable and attractive enough to "pull" the men that I want to pull. The same cannot be said about the OP... So let's refocus on that, instead of this silliness that has resulted in individuals trying to talk about a black woman's desirability.
Yes, so true. Thank goodness you do not base your self worth on what others think! The only people who count to me are the ones I am trying to get.
In my entire life, I have never seen a black woman who I have even remotely considered attractive.
And no, before I get the inevitable "you're a racist!!!" posts, I don't hate black people. I have a great deal of respect for a couple of black people that I work with. I just don't find black women attractive at all.
Why would you get "you're a racist posts?" Attractiveness is a personal/subjective thing and it differs from person to person. You don't consider black women attractive. I am sure there are black women who wouldn't consider you attractive either. Who you personally find beautiful is your right, no biggie. Some people like rainbow skittles, and some people like only one or two flavors of skittles. That's just the way it is.
One of the messages that I am going to send to my girls is that they do not base their self-esteem or worth on others' opinions.
In my entire life, I have never seen a black woman who I have even remotely considered attractive.
And no, before I get the inevitable "you're a racist!!!" posts, I don't hate black people. I have a great deal of respect for a couple of black people that I work with. I just don't find black women attractive at all.
The bolded line is where it goes racist. None attractive, only a couple you can even respect. George Wallace in his worst years did better than that.
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) but now? Pshhh, look all over the internet and you can find sites with Asian males and Black women. There is a lovely site of a Black woman married to a Japanese man, with two children, living in Japan. IRL here in Austin I have seen Asian and Hispanic. 
