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Before I met my husband, I dressed entirely for myself. I guess I'm one of those women who Kimmie says "breaks the rules" because I didn't dress in the typical way most women did in my early 20's-- showing a lot of skin, tummy area, cleavage, and leg. Whenever I did show more skin than usual, I felt like a caricature. I've had female friends tell me they hated seeing me in "those long skirts" and shirts with sleeves because I never showed any skin and how strange that was. One time I wore a summer dress a couple inches above my knees with a somewhat lower cut neckline, but I didn't have any cleavage showing. This friend was shocked that I was "showing so much skin" but she didn't think it was near enough. Whatever. I dressed nicely and modestly, and those are the things my husband likes and still does to this day.
I'll admit, I do dress for my husband for the most part but he isn't too picky and just asks that I not show cleavage or wear really tight clothes out of the house. He's more amenable about the amount of leg, but I hardly wear shorts and prefer my skirts and dresses.
Where I live, wearing skirts and dresses is considered very threatening because the norm is to wear jeans and sweatshirts during the colder months and shorts and t-shirts during the warmer months. As I got into my late 20's, I decided to step up my fashion and clothing taste to be more sophisticated and my current wardrobe reflects that. However, wearing things like lace, pleats, flattering colors and fits, along with interesting or ethnic print is SUCH A BIG DEAL. You would have thought I was walking around with 5 inches of cleavage hanging out and no bra on with the way people act toward me and the only people who behave that way are women. The men seem more appreciative and will comment that I look nice and leave it at that.
Women are usually asking me with very derisive tones "why are you dressed up?" "why can't you just wear shorts?" Why is it such a big deal if another woman is dressed in a tasteful manner that doesn't conform to other people's standards? I don't go around telling women who wear shorts and sweatshirts as their go-to outfit in the summer that they look bad. It's their outfit, not mine.
Sometimes I think the prevailing attitudes are meant to punish women who dress with a modicum of femininity.
^ Yeah the sheeplike fashion police just like to single out anyone with true individuality. For all the talk about a place where you can pursue your own dreams and which emphasises individuality America seems mighty conformist.
My theory is that it is all about the "rules." A lot of (not all) women in groups are mean and they do feel threatened by anyone that dresses outside of the norm (rule breakers). Out of the norm could mean: sloppy, trashy, over-dressed, under-dressed, out of style, etc.
When another woman chooses not to adhere to the norm, she is ultimately saying "I don't play by the rules." Since she doesn't play by the rules, she is saying that she doesn't care to be in the group. She is a loose cannon. Can't be controlled. Not interested in playing the game. A threat to the pecking order.
^Bingo! This is what "rules" my appearance decisions. I would be treated differently in the office if I was outside of the norm. And by different, I mean in a negative way. Some women in my office are gossipy, judgmental, and snarky. I try to stay away from their drama.
As far as in a social setting, I want to look presentable, but really don't make any effort to be stylish. I dress for comfort for the most part. Typically in a social setting, I don't care if people (male or female) perceive me as someone who doesn't play by the rules. I really don't care. I think the older I get, the less I care what people think about my appearance. I don't want to spend my time with people who place THAT much emphasis on appearance. They probably don't have time for me either.
Being fashionable or stylish was a low priority growing up. I come from a fairly large family. There wasn't money available to be selective with clothing/hairstyles/shoes, etc. I mostly got hand-me-downs, and that was that.
95%+ of women are lazy succubuses, highly irrational, manipulative and vindictive little chameleons.
that's why i ignore 99% of the nonsense that comes out of their mouths. if they dare bother my peace, nag me, upset me, etc. i don't waste time arguging. i toss them in the garbage.
most aren't even good at sex, cooking or cleaning. they're just liabilities that consume resources: time, money and energy.
digging any deeper than superficial topics with them is a waste of time.
they aren't "complex", they're just jumbled, confused and scared little animals.
for example, this is the average female mind, wondering if they should wear the red shoes or the black shoes:
Man I don't know where you got all that but if that is your opinion then I certainly respect it. Thanks for participating
95%+ of women are lazy succubuses, highly irrational, manipulative and vindictive little chameleons.
that's why i ignore 99% of the nonsense that comes out of their mouths. if they dare bother my peace, nag me, upset me, etc. i don't waste time arguging. i toss them in the garbage.
most aren't even good at sex, cooking or cleaning. they're just liabilities that consume resources: time, money and energy.
digging any deeper than superficial topics with them is a waste of time.
they aren't "complex", they're just jumbled, confused and scared little animals.
for example, this is the average female mind, wondering if they should wear the red shoes or the black shoes:
If that's how their mind works more of them should be designing computer chips .
95%+ of women are lazy succubuses, highly irrational, manipulative and vindictive little chameleons.
that's why i ignore 99% of the nonsense that comes out of their mouths. if they dare bother my peace, nag me, upset me, etc. i don't waste time arguging. i toss them in the garbage.
most aren't even good at sex, cooking or cleaning. they're just liabilities that consume resources: time, money and energy.
digging any deeper than superficial topics with them is a waste of time.
they aren't "complex", they're just jumbled, confused and scared little animals.
for example, this is the average female mind, wondering if they should wear the red shoes or the black shoes:
I bet your girlfriend feels so lucky to be with you.
95%+ of women are lazy succubuses, highly irrational, manipulative and vindictive little chameleons.
that's why i ignore 99% of the nonsense that comes out of their mouths. if they dare bother my peace, nag me, upset me, etc. i don't waste time arguging. i toss them in the garbage.
most aren't even good at sex, cooking or cleaning. they're just liabilities that consume resources: time, money and energy.
digging any deeper than superficial topics with them is a waste of time.
they aren't "complex", they're just jumbled, confused and scared little animals.
for example, this is the average female mind, wondering if they should wear the red shoes or the black shoes:
Hmmmm..... . Maybe if more women took the DMS course they would learn that complexity could be broken down into simpler functional units and then integrated into one component . Seriously, only 2 girls in my entire class of 117 .
Gentlemen; how many of you have heard this before?
Ladies; how many of you have said this before?
I want to hear this from our lovely ladies themselves, a lot of times when I have read articles about the dating and relationships worlds and men complain about women dressing up and going out but not mingling and all that I have heard the expression that women don't get all dressed up and dolled up for men but for other women instead. The reasoning behind some of these articles has nothing to do with sexual orientation but instead with the gossip or competition world. I have heard women say that they dress and look their best to impress other women or to avoid being criticized by other women. I want to know from these ladies here how much truth there is to this belief.
I wanted to bring this back for our new wave of members so I quoted my original post. What do you think of this subject ladies?
Personally, for me as a woman, only attention I care for, is men I find attractive. I don't get happy about other women's compliments And far as men noticing, if I am not attracted to them, their compliments do nothing either. Sounds harsh/mean. but true. If these other people notice, I don't mind. After all, you can't control who looks at you-unless you never leave your house. But there's no flattery.
If I dress up, one reason is because I like the outfit, and it makes me feel nice. Sometimes I even wear it at home, even when not going out, because I like to walk be the mirror and see. And it's rare I ever think I look that nice. I think it's only happened 3 times lol But it's possible and happens.
My mother likes attention in general, and thinks it's always nice to get compliments-from anybody. I was getting tons of compliments on my hair when we went to her salon. But I didn't hear because I had my headphones in. My mother was eating up the compliments more than I was. When she told me about the compliments I was getting-and not hearing, I shrugged it off, because it was only coming from other women, so I wasn't flattered and didn't care, and she seemed disappointed when I said that.
Last edited by HappyRain; 09-02-2015 at 03:27 PM..
I dress in stuff I like. But there is stuff that I really like to "show" my female friends. I assume men don't care about the intricacies of my outfit.
Dressing for men? Not necessarily. There are some outfits I have are "more appealing to men." Others are "more appealing to women."
In the case part of my goal for the day/outing is to hopefully attract some attention, I might dress accordingly. That isn't a primary goal very often though. I wear what I like and am in the mood to wear. Sometimes that means men will like those outfits too.
Men generally don't care about the outfit details as long as they are "flattering." Women are more apt to care about how things are put together. Though occasionally I have met some men who are well versed in the details and care about them.
I think where men are mistaken is that a woman's goal is to always attract attention and be "sexy" for potential romantic partners. It works differently. Women dress to make themselves feel good, and if you are in the mood, an side effect of feeling good about yourself is appearing more attractive to a potential romantic partner.
I work in an department full of women, we are always commenting on each others outfits to get ideas.
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Whatever. I dressed nicely and modestly, and those are the things my husband likes and still does to this day.
.
. Maybe if more women took the DMS course they would learn that complexity could be broken down into simpler functional units and then integrated into one component 
. Seriously, only 2 girls in my entire class of 117 
.
