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Old 06-10-2014, 11:55 PM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,205,914 times
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I guess this question could go one way or the other.

If women dressed modestly,they would not get any male attention.

I have seen this on warm days here.

Women who were dressed conservatively but cute did not get any attention at all,while the ratchets did.

That being said...some male attention is good,at least in my opinion.
How else are you going to attract a future boyfriend/husband?

Come to think of it,that is how it seems that great relationships start.
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Old 06-11-2014, 12:02 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,205,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy View Post
A lot of women will stare too and usually it's because we think it just looks awful but the fact is, when women dress a little too revealing, pretty much everyone stares. Really, it doesn't mean the person dressed that way looks good.
I notice this too.
Many women think men are leering when in fact they are laughing at the muffin tops,etc
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Old 06-11-2014, 01:10 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,633,030 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
How else are you going to attract a future boyfriend/husband?
Because the guy SHOULD notice the girls interests, goals, personality. Not her boob size, shape of her butt or how short her skirt is.
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Old 06-11-2014, 01:51 AM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
12,448 posts, read 10,126,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adi from the Brunswicks View Post
Might be true in Newark, Trenton, Camden, St. Louis, Detroit, NO, parts of Los Angles, parts of Oakland, and other bad places...
What the $%#^ does "bad places" mean? Is there an online source defining "bad places" or are you an authority on such? I've been to these "bad places" and I have enjoyed their hospitality.
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Old 06-11-2014, 05:12 AM
 
Location: Washington State
15,350 posts, read 8,020,336 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Because the guy SHOULD notice the girls interests, goals, personality. Not her boob size, shape of her butt or how short her skirt is.
Yes, guys should and do notice a girls goals, interests, personality, etc....after checking out their physical features.

Men are visual, either they were made that way by the Creator or have evolved that way during the evolution process but we cannot change human nature.

Why is it bad that men use physical attractiveness in mate selection as a very high criteria and women are praised for using different criteria? We (men) cannot change our human nature and disregard what we see and what we feel from what we see...it's not bad, it is what it is.
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Old 06-11-2014, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Johns Creek, GA
1,956 posts, read 1,995,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caltovegas View Post
For all the women who complain about the looks men give them just wait. I once talked to a woman and she said the worst part about aging is becoming invisible. She said when she was young men would talk to her all the time and give her approving looks but as she got older men didn't pay as much if any attention to her.

The sad part was that included her husband. I sat next to her on a plane and she thanked me for talking to her while on the flight. I was like damn.. During the whole flight the husband said nothing to her.

Now if course it's not that extreme for all but for all age is an equalizer. Looks fade for all.
I read a quote once... I don't remember the exact words, so forgive my butchering and paraphrasing:

It is sad when a woman who has traded on her looks most of her life ages and suddenly has to develop a personality

I think that is a vast over-generalization, but the "complaint" from the woman in your anecdote is basically the same behavior that normal people deal with day in and day out. Many of us are invisible and have to leverage our innate talents or learned skills to make our way in life.
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Old 06-11-2014, 08:07 AM
 
706 posts, read 911,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Because the guy SHOULD notice the girls interests, goals, personality. Not her boob size, shape of her butt or how short her skirt is.
But when a man first sees a woman, he doesn't see her interest, goals and personality. He is first drawn to her because she possesses physical traits that he finds desireable. Women learn very early in life that men are visual first and foremost. Most of us also learn that a flash of boob or leg draws men in like a moth to fire. And it doesn't take being half naked to do the trick. A hint of the goodies is enough to make most men approach if he is so inclined to do so. THEN begins the mating dance and the opportunity to find out about her deeper, less physical qualities.
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Old 06-11-2014, 10:55 AM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,344,403 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
I get the gist of your question and will say it behooves men to be respectful in their acknowledgement of a woman's beauty when seen. A good example, I recall from a discussion among a church group a long time ago was if you look once, that's fine it's only natural, if you keep looking and are leering / lewd (undressing them with your eyes) that's not proper. Instead one should think of the woman as those you hold most dear: your wife, daughter, sister etc.... now how would you feel? If you have a conscience, most men who are in a relationship will ratchet those 'initial' feelings down and move on to whatever they were doing and simply say internally "wow" thanks for crossing my path and reminding me my primal drive is still functioning.

When I see a woman who looks nicely dressed or simply looks attractive to me, I most always give my best friendly smile (along with smiling eyes, i.e the 'non leer'). Occasionally if the context of the situation seems fitting I will compliment them on their dress: 'That dress / outfit etc... looks great on you', ' You look exceptionally lovely today'.

Then you have the dynamics of men in groups who tend to engage in bawdiness, with different cultural standards / training of respect for the opposite sex. It seems certain ethnicities will overtly leer, although this may also be more socio economic class based behavior. Funny story, I'm riding up an escalator there's a young black man ahead of me and ahead of both of us a very fine specimen of feminine pulchritude (I just had to use that word!). Well, as we got to top and the woman went her way, the young black man gave a nice lingering gaze, and as I came up behind he turned and noticed I saw him looking at the beauty and he gave me this look of (you caught me) half shrugged and said we're all the same under the skin, and I broke out a grin and said, "yes we are". Some of us mask it better.

There is also the dynamic of the lack of parenting and good moral upbringing (i.e. generations raised on TV / Mass media as babysitter) so you will find poor conditioning in response to visual attractive stimulation that tends to be juvenile and base in nature, since, it seems to be the standard of current mass media sit-coms for so called laughs.

At it's most basic, everyone wants to be desired. Some have unrealistic expectations of how it should be reflected (both sexes deserve blame here). At other times there simply is an absence of the concept of class -either never taught - or, acculturated to a low standard whereby anything goes when you see an attractive woman: verbalization, catcalls et al).

As general rule, I think more men - in today's politically gender contentious environment, tend to show more restraint in saying anything to a woman about her appearance for fear of bizarre reprisals due to reading something into a glance that isn't there. Many men can appreciate women's beauty for just that, like a nice painting / sculpture at a museum.

As for women and how they dress, it makes me think of this old post:

Men: What do you consider sexy-trashy and sexy-classy?

I actually agree with you. You're right, some men are better at being discreet while others just make it very, very obvious. LOL!
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Old 06-11-2014, 10:56 AM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,344,403 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
But when a man first sees a woman, he doesn't see her interest, goals and personality. He is first drawn to her because she possesses physical traits that he finds desireable. Women learn very early in life that men are visual first and foremost. Most of us also learn that a flash of boob or leg draws men in like a moth to fire. And it doesn't take being half naked to do the trick. A hint of the goodies is enough to make most men approach if he is so inclined to do so. THEN begins the mating dance and the opportunity to find out about her deeper, less physical qualities.
Not all women are interested in "flashing," even if it's far from being half-naked. But, like attracts like. Men who want to see that flash aren't going to go after the women who aren't into that in the first place.
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Old 06-11-2014, 02:05 PM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,984,326 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
Not all women are interested in "flashing," even if it's far from being half-naked. But, like attracts like. Men who want to see that flash aren't going to go after the women who aren't into that in the first place.
That's actually not true. A lot of men like to see it and might even have sex with a woman who dresses like that but don't want a serious relationship with a woman who is going to show it to everyone else. Some men are okay with that, some aren't. Everyone's different. For instance, most conservative men DO look, like it or not. I've seen very conservative/religious men leering at scantily clad women because those women may be very sexually appealing to them. They probably wouldn't take those women home to mama, though.
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