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Old 06-12-2014, 03:09 PM
bg7
 
7,698 posts, read 7,652,223 times
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Revealingly
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Old 06-12-2014, 03:41 PM
PJA
 
2,387 posts, read 2,380,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
You are really taking this thing to a whole new level and completely blowing it out of proportion. Because a woman shows some leg (I am In no way talking about being half naked) or some cleavage does not mean she believes that is all she is worth. Nor does it mean she'll be doing lap dances or dancing on a pole...WTF?!

Your post was so "extra" and assumptions so over the top I don't even know where to begin to address it. Neither I nor any other woman is responsible for another woman's security or lack thereof. Nor is any woman required to uphold the exact same values and to the same degree as anyone else. It is your husband's job to uphold and respect the sanctity of your marriage. If you find him looking a little too long at the cleavage of another woman, that is your problem to address with him. He would be the one disrespecting you, or are you ken who believes a man has no control over his sexual urges and it's up to the women to dress in a way (completely covered) so as not to tempt him? Either way, you need to take that up with your hubby, not the woman who is dressed in a way YOU feel is revealing. And again...revealing to you may be completely different than what revealing means to someone else. Are form fitting, yet not super tight clothes revealing? Is showing even a little cleavage revealing? Is showing more leg than below the knee revealing? See what I mean? There is no general agreement as to what is considered to be "revealing dress" and we'd all have a different opinion as to what that actually means. So should all women dress in burkas just to be on the safe side! Would that make you feel better?

Oh and in case you didn't get the memo, women's lib is about women making their own choice about any and everything regarding their lives. Even if you don't necessarily agree with the choices, if you're truly a feminist, you defend the right for a woman to be able to make that choice for herself.

Women definitely have the right to dress that way....but men also have the right to free speech and to look even if it is unwanted by you. If you don't like the comments or the looks, then you can limit (not control) them by dressing more modestly. If not, then you will continue to get them and there won't be anything you can do about it but complain.
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Old 06-12-2014, 03:46 PM
PJA
 
2,387 posts, read 2,380,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy View Post
Who's blaming? I don't blame the girl dressing in next to nothing even though I technically believe that's what she wants because she has no control over the man's eyes, and I don't blame the man because if it's out there then it's fair game and in most cases probably what the girl wants anyway. I stare when I see someone dressed in too little. In fact, just the other day we were driving down the street and I saw a very overweight woman lift her shirt up to her bra. She then reached down to her shorts and appeared to be pulling them down. In horror, I screamed, "Nooooo! Don't do that!!!" Luckily, she was just readjusting her clothing; and no, she didn't hear me. Windows were up.

Oh, and I HATE when a woman snaps at a man for looking at her when she's wearing very little clothing. I feel like it's some kind of a power move. Dress that way to attract the stares then shoot them down for giving them what they want.

And then come complain on a message board about it.
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Old 06-12-2014, 05:45 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,347,200 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PJA View Post
Women definitely have the right to dress that way....but men also have the right to free speech and to look even if it is unwanted by you. If you don't like the comments or the looks, then you can limit (not control) them by dressing more modestly. If not, then you will continue to get them and there won't be anything you can do about it but complain.
I don't think Kitten is one of those women who dresses in tight clothes or shows a lot of skin during daytime hours; she just likes to flatter her figure. Completely different from women who like the more skin less clothes look. I started this thread with the reverse situation about women dressing modestly and receiving positive attention from men for doing so. There is obviously a difference between a man complimenting a woman on how she looks and a man shouting across the street about her butt. Doesn't it make more sense to reward the men who give out respectful compliments? But they are treated as the same same and the men who respectfully express their views are vilified with the cads.

This thread morphed into another "women need to show some skin for attention, but as long as it's selective." I am of the camp where a woman can preselect for the type of men she wishes to attract by dressing more tastefully, but of course there's something wrong with that, too. I think at the end of the day women who want a relationship need to accept the fact it's okay to differentiate themselves from the women who are okay with being a quick lay or in a short-term relationship.
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Old 06-12-2014, 08:35 PM
 
118 posts, read 174,905 times
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Saw this today and it reminded me of this thread...

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Old 06-12-2014, 08:40 PM
 
706 posts, read 913,615 times
Reputation: 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJA View Post
Women definitely have the right to dress that way....but men also have the right to free speech and to look even if it is unwanted by you. If you don't like the comments or the looks, then you can limit (not control) them by dressing more modestly. If not, then you will continue to get them and there won't be anything you can do about it but complain.
I'm not complaining about comments or looks. Mostly because I don't get lewd and disrespectful reactions to how I am dressed or look. The men who come on to me have always been respectful in how they approached. But I also don't dress half naked. My definition of revealing are clothes that give a tease peek at the goodies...not an all out strip show.
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Old 06-12-2014, 10:07 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,347,200 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thursdaymcgee View Post
Saw this today and it reminded me of this thread...
LOL! The far lower right corner is okay if you ask me.
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Old 06-13-2014, 04:04 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,230,193 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
Then it goes to show men still expect women to be sex objects. I can't think of any other explanation if women aren't attractive enough to dress modestly and get noticed.
to be honest,those modest clothes look very matronly.

I wonder what the middle ground is?


Men do not even give a second look to women dressed modestly.

I do notice they seem to be in the "rolled out of bed look".

strange
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Old 06-13-2014, 08:41 AM
 
7,497 posts, read 9,294,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simplesunwater View Post
well as a woman, my perspective is ...if a woman is showing too much skin its offensive to me.
Its like if one invited someone (man)for dinner and they wore tight boxers that showed the shape of everything everything?
wouldn't people complain if a man were dressed like that in public...where children could see?
similarly when women dress like that in public its offensive. I wouldn't want my kids seeing adult women in revealing clothes
and what about other's family values and marriages and harmony
if a woman is dressed provocatively, it makes wives jealous and causes problems for the couple.
i am quite an attractive woman...but i find it offensive when other women dress provocatively or act flirtatiously...
these women are hanging it all out there for all men and women to see
of course they may scoff at the insecurities of the wives or get a kick out if it...but is it really the way to feel good about oneself?
thats shows low standards and esteem...
and looks don't last forever...maybe its more important to ficus on values and qualities
and what role models are being placed for girls growing up?
that sexy is beautiful is lovable?
so be easy and be loved?
or don't have standards and dress like an easy woman to get ''love'' and ''respect"'?
i don't like at all when women dress inappropriately in public. it tells me that they don't care about others or the fabric of the society.
they are just about getting an ego boost for themselves...its selfish... or because its ''comfortable''
seriously, one may be very comfortable in a big loose nightgown...how many women walk around in their night pyjamas or big baggy or loose fitting nighties because it ''comfortable'' and also one may be most comfortable wearing very little inside the house...so should one be close to nude in public because its comfortable for them?
what about others?
such women are Selfish, hypocritical and focus on getting some superficial attention in place of real love
and if one is married...i don't get why they must still want attention from other men...again...teh focus is on some ego boost rather then Respecting and honouring the marriage they have and being grateful and respecting th attention from their partners.
How many men's attention is needed to make one fill enough?
I've never realized that how I dress can cause problems in someone else's marriage. Really??? Are you one of those people who believe that if your spouse cheats, it's only the woman's fault???
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Old 06-13-2014, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,894 posts, read 28,206,166 times
Reputation: 26039
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
to be honest,those modest clothes look very matronly.

I wonder what the middle ground is?


Men do not even give a second look to women dressed modestly.

I do notice they seem to be in the "rolled out of bed look".

strange
I have noticed something weird over about the past year or two when I have become obsessed with fit and flare dresses (sample: Xhilaration® Junior's Printed Fit & Flare Dr... : Target). I like the whole feminine 50s feel and they totally have a side benefit of being bike-appropriate. Oh and are super comfy.

I have quite a few in various patterns, necklines and lengths (knee length to 2-3 inches above the knee). I get more "attention" in these dresses than the other dresses and skirts in my closet. I'd rank them as more conservative than my other favorite: the pencil skirt. And I wear skirts and dresses 5-6 days a week with my generally preppy style. These fit and flare dresses get more compliments and more "hellos." And they look cute on just about everyone.

It is so bizarre. I went to a networking party not long ago and my former coworker was commenting on the phenom as well. We have been to many of similar events over the past 4-5 years and this last one was just odd in terms of male attention. And I haven't changed other than getting older. I am going to blame the dress. That one seems to have unintended attention grabbing consequences.
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