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Old 06-13-2014, 12:38 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,344,403 times
Reputation: 1578

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
to be honest,those modest clothes look very matronly.
What is matronly to you is modest and stylish to another. It sounds like where you're from if a woman isn't showing her goods she is the same as matronly. I don't think there is a such thing as a "middle ground" because one person's middle ground is another person's matronly or too revealing.
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Old 06-13-2014, 12:40 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,344,403 times
Reputation: 1578
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
I have noticed something weird over about the past year or two when I have become obsessed with fit and flare dresses (sample: Xhilaration® Junior's Printed Fit & Flare Dr... : Target). I like the whole feminine 50s feel and they totally have a side benefit of being bike-appropriate. Oh and are super comfy.

I have quite a few in various patterns, necklines and lengths (knee length to 2-3 inches above the knee). I get more "attention" in these dresses than the other dresses and skirts in my closet. I'd rank them as more conservative than my other favorite: the pencil skirt. And I wear skirts and dresses 5-6 days a week with my generally preppy style. These fit and flare dresses get more compliments and more "hellos." And they look cute on just about everyone.

It is so bizarre. I went to a networking party not long ago and my former coworker was commenting on the phenom as well. We have been to many of similar events over the past 4-5 years and this last one was just odd in terms of male attention. And I haven't changed other than getting older. I am going to blame the dress. That one seems to have unintended attention grabbing consequences.
The fit and flare style is meant to be flattering to all figures. Notice how it creates the ideal hourglass look even if you don't have the bet WHR. A lot of vintage styles are being recycled, and most vintage styles were figure-flattering to women. They created structure at the waist, showed just the right amount of leg, and included flattering prints.
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Old 06-13-2014, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,864 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
The fit and flare style is meant to be flattering to all figures. Notice how it creates the ideal hourglass look even if you don't have the bet WHR. A lot of vintage styles are being recycled, and most vintage styles were figure-flattering to women. They created structure at the waist, showed just the right amount of leg, and included flattering prints.
To be totally honest, I tend to not highlight my waist on a typical day! I do have a decent WHR but it stays hidden. Besides on the fit and flare days. I have the sort of shape where I should be wearing a belt all the time. I am pretty bad about accessorizing with belts in particular. And I bet if I made a chart, I would notice an increase in attention on the belt days. Now that I think about it.
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Old 06-13-2014, 01:02 PM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,984,326 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
The fit and flare style is meant to be flattering to all figures. Notice how it creates the ideal hourglass look even if you don't have the bet WHR. A lot of vintage styles are being recycled, and most vintage styles were figure-flattering to women. They created structure at the waist, showed just the right amount of leg, and included flattering prints.
Who gets to decide what "just the right amount of leg" is? Isn't that really up to the individual wearing the clothing? I'm not saying it always looks good, especially if it starts at the butt cheek, but I don't think any individual person or group of people get to set the standard on "just the right amount of leg" or anything else. Your "just the right amount of leg" may not be the same as my "just the right amount of leg." The difference in any two people's "just the right amount of leg" could be huge or very minute.
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Old 06-13-2014, 02:52 PM
 
706 posts, read 911,897 times
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I might have to get a few fit and flare dresses for the summertime. I usually wear maxi dresses exclusively.
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Old 06-13-2014, 03:15 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,344,403 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy View Post
Who gets to decide what "just the right amount of leg" is? Isn't that really up to the individual wearing the clothing? I'm not saying it always looks good, especially if it starts at the butt cheek, but I don't think any individual person or group of people get to set the standard on "just the right amount of leg" or anything else. Your "just the right amount of leg" may not be the same as my "just the right amount of leg." The difference in any two people's "just the right amount of leg" could be huge or very minute.
Many fit and flare dresses end at the knee.

I'd say it's good taste to make sure a dress isn't any higher than 2 inches above the knee. There's no need to overanalyze it.
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Old 06-13-2014, 03:18 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,344,403 times
Reputation: 1578
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
To be totally honest, I tend to not highlight my waist on a typical day! I do have a decent WHR but it stays hidden. Besides on the fit and flare days. I have the sort of shape where I should be wearing a belt all the time. I am pretty bad about accessorizing with belts in particular. And I bet if I made a chart, I would notice an increase in attention on the belt days. Now that I think about it.
But what is wrong with having a waist? This is what I dislike most about American ideas of modesty. On one hand, in order to be a woman you've got to show it all and wear tight clothes; on the other you need to hide under your clothes. I envy women with a waist. If I had a waist, I'd be wearing a belt or wrap dresses all the time. The hourglass and pear shapes have been admired by humans for thousands of years, and all of a sudden in the 21st century it's too much? At least a lot of those styles show the female form with dignity, unlike other styles.
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Old 06-13-2014, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,864 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
But what is wrong with having a waist? This is what I dislike most about American ideas of modesty. On one hand, in order to be a woman you've got to show it all and wear tight clothes; on the other you need to hide under your clothes. I envy women with a waist. If I had a waist, I'd be wearing a belt or wrap dresses all the time. The hourglass and pear shapes have been admired by humans for thousands of years, and all of a sudden in the 21st century it's too much? At least a lot of those styles show the female form with dignity, unlike other styles.
Nothing in particular. I like having a waist. But most brands aren't really cut for people with defined waists. I'm not skinny by any means, and I find clothing is baggy in the waist for me no matter what. I know that getting stuff altered is awesome and looks way better, but I don't do it for everything. If you "have a waist" (or really any shape), you better stock up when clothing suiting your shape comes in style, because it usually isn't available.

The second reason can easily be traced back to your thread. For women who are curvy, and in this case I mean with well defined waist hip ratios (size makes no difference), you might have attracted more attention than you wanted, a lot of it negative. From a young age you may have learned or decided, that it is just more "modest" or "comfortable" not to draw attention to your "womanly shape.*" This is also true for me as well. It is a little protective too. Well especially when I was younger. Now things are a little different, and I am more prepared to deal with it than I was from ages 12 to 24.

*This can mean breasts, butt, waist/hip ratio
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Old 06-13-2014, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,864 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
I might have to get a few fit and flare dresses for the summertime. I usually wear maxi dresses exclusively.
I'd highly recommend it!

They are comfy and cute. And the cool thing is, they are as comfy as maxi dresses, but look more dressed up. With no extra effort. It also seems to inspire more gentlemanly behavior. (If you are into that of course!)

Put on your flats and you are having an Audrey Hepburn day. Put on your heels and you are dressed up. And everyone will be able to see your cute shoes compared to the maxi.

P.S. Target has had a bunch of cute ones over the past few seasons. Old Navy too, but the Target ones are cut better for my shape than the old navy. And Old Navy seems to have way too many racerback ones. But it is on trend at any store, I have seen them everywhere from Forever 21 to ASOS to Nordstroms at all price ranges. I happen to be addicted to Target dresses. They tend to be well priced, cut well, and hold up decently too.
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Old 06-13-2014, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,633,030 times
Reputation: 6732


"hot" but showing way too much



normal



Every day modesty but not frumpy



Covered but not frumpy and BEAUTIFUL

And there may be other types of "modesty" but You cant dress like #1 and NOT expect attention. However you can dress like #4 and still get attention from a guy!
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