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Old 06-13-2014, 06:37 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,348,222 times
Reputation: 1578

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Nothing in particular. I like having a waist. But most brands aren't really cut for people with defined waists. I'm not skinny by any means, and I find clothing is baggy in the waist for me no matter what. I know that getting stuff altered is awesome and looks way better, but I don't do it for everything. If you "have a waist" (or really any shape), you better stock up when clothing suiting your shape comes in style, because it usually isn't available.

The second reason can easily be traced back to your thread. For women who are curvy, and in this case I mean with well defined waist hip ratios (size makes no difference), you might have attracted more attention than you wanted, a lot of it negative. From a young age you may have learned or decided, that it is just more "modest" or "comfortable" not to draw attention to your "womanly shape.*" This is also true for me as well. It is a little protective too. Well especially when I was younger. Now things are a little different, and I am more prepared to deal with it than I was from ages 12 to 24.

*This can mean breasts, butt, waist/hip ratio
Okay, I understand the protective part. I don't think defining your waist would attract negative attention as long as it was tasteful. Wearing a wrap dress is tasteful; dressing like Miley Cyrus is not. I have seen a lot of men give out positive attention to shapely women who dressed nicely. I think it's important to note men in general aren't used to seeing women dress nice or femininely; for a lot it may come as a surprise, but it's not fair to interpret that surprise as poor attention.
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Old 06-13-2014, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,905 posts, read 28,233,136 times
Reputation: 26064
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
Okay, I understand the protective part. I don't think defining your waist would attract negative attention as long as it was tasteful. Wearing a wrap dress is tasteful; dressing like Miley Cyrus is not. I have seen a lot of men give out positive attention to shapely women who dressed nicely. I think it's important to note men in general aren't used to seeing women dress nice or femininely; for a lot it may come as a surprise, but it's not fair to interpret that surprise as poor attention.
There isn't a solid relationship between tasteful dressing and "quality" of the attention. I have worn conservative items, super flattering and tasteful items and sweats and still heard sketchy comments. Wearing the "classy" outfit is more likely to garner tasteful attention, but it definitely doesn't mean you won't get the lewd attention as well. Particularly if you happen to have a so-called "provocative" body shape.

Have I had more people open the door for me and so on in the classy dress? Sure. But I have also had the range of "hey ma" and the not subtle simulations of jerking off while walking down the sidewalk (in the daytime even).
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Old 06-13-2014, 06:47 PM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,348,222 times
Reputation: 1578
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
There isn't a solid relationship between tasteful dressing and "quality" of the attention. I have worn conservative items, super flattering and tasteful items and sweats and still heard sketchy comments. Wearing the "classy" outfit is more likely to garner tasteful attention, but it definitely doesn't mean you won't get the lewd attention as well. Particularly if you happen to have a so-called "provocative" body shape.

Have I had more people open the door for me and so on in the classy dress? Sure. But I have also had the range of "hey ma" and the not subtle simulations of jerking off while walking down the sidewalk (in the daytime even).
Wow some people have no shame, do they? I don't think we can prevent lewd attention no matter what we do. I have a relative who deliberately wore baggy pants and t-shirts to prevent that attention and it didn't work. There are women who can wear a brown potato sack for clothes and still get attention. Nothing we can do to control crazy people's lack of common sense, but we can control what we wear and how we respond.
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Old 06-13-2014, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,905 posts, read 28,233,136 times
Reputation: 26064
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
Wow some people have no shame, do they? I don't think we can prevent lewd attention no matter what we do. I have a relative who deliberately wore baggy pants and t-shirts to prevent that attention and it didn't work. There are women who can wear a brown potato sack for clothes and still get attention. Nothing we can do to control crazy people's lack of common sense, but we can control what we wear and how we respond.
Yup, it is pretty ridiculous. Eventually i figured out my clothing choice have no impact, so I should just wear what I want. But that lesson can take a very long time. Also depending on how severe it is for you.
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:08 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,239,206 times
Reputation: 7486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
What is matronly to you is modest and stylish to another. It sounds like where you're from if a woman isn't showing her goods she is the same as matronly. I don't think there is a such thing as a "middle ground" because one person's middle ground is another person's matronly or too revealing.
Yeah,its still matronly.

But yeah,i always hear my sisters who wear work uniforms complaining that men do not pay us any attention.

Maybe Jersey is just weird,who knows?
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:13 AM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,348,222 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Yeah,its still matronly.

But yeah,i always hear my sisters who wear work uniforms complaining that men do not pay us any attention.

Maybe Jersey is just weird,who knows?
That's funny because I have relatives who live in Jersey and dress "matronly", but get hit on. And they are married. When did dressing modestly mean matronly?

I guess I just don't get it. Women complain about the wrong men looking at them when they show skin, but when they don't show skin complain about not getting looked at. There is a way to dress nicely without showing your goods that'll attract a man's attention. I think women make it more complicated than it needs to be...a lot of decent men don't want to see everything paraded around if they're going to be exclusive. I guess it's a matter of women deciding what it is they want.
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:17 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,239,206 times
Reputation: 7486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I don't dress revealing and dress in more of a vintage style (50s), men don't seem to like it but oh well. I'm not comfortable bearing large breasts for all to see. I don't care if some other women dress trashy, that's their business, men like when everything is hanging out and I guess they're happy to oblige.
You know what,i think this is a Jersey thing as well.
Men here do not seem to pay attention unless a woman is dressed revealing.

Which is why i believe some women dress like that...too get attention.
Nothing wrong with it,and to be honest,most women do not complain of too much attention,but some complain of a lack of male attention.(the ones i know anyway).

I do notice the me seem to act like cavemen in NYC though.
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Old 06-16-2014, 03:21 AM
 
Location: MN
1,306 posts, read 1,348,222 times
Reputation: 1578
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post

I do notice the me seem to act like cavemen in NYC though.
LOL...I've heard mixed reviews.
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:38 AM
 
13 posts, read 14,146 times
Reputation: 45
In my experience, unless you're obviously over exposing yourself men tend to be more interested in the shape of your face (provided you generally have a healthy body).
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Old 06-16-2014, 10:57 AM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,990,988 times
Reputation: 3019
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellalaloca View Post
In my experience, unless you're obviously over exposing yourself men tend to be more interested in the shape of your face (provided you generally have a healthy body).
Not just shape but in general I think men prefer a girl with a pretty face over a sexy body. They might stare at you if you're showing some skin, but they won't ask you out if they don't think you have a pretty face.
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