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Old 06-09-2014, 11:42 AM
 
Location: My House
33,076 posts, read 26,889,149 times
Reputation: 24430

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildCard~ View Post
Agree.. I have miscarried with our first, it was heartbreaking , yes I was grift stricken....We had three more children all healthy, then became preg with twins lost one going into the 1 month, later lost the second during labor. A son Eric... I had one friend say, at least you have three other kids, like some how Eric could so simple be replace .... He was a life, even tho it was short he has forever change ours , not a day go by he doesn't come to mind to least once. it's been 23 years! ..... As for tac my daughter in law has one on her shoulder for her grandmother she loved deeply has since past, other is my daughter friend lost a sibling to cancer at 17, it's above her heart with his name and a saying and a dear friend Ho lost a daughter shortly after birth, he has her tac on his arm with name date...
People say dumb things sometimes. I lost a child at 6 1/2 months' gestation and some of the hospital staff told me "you're young, you can have others" and some told me "you have 2 lovely boys, you're lucky."

While I agree that I was lucky that I had 2 kids already and I was fortunate enough to have a daughter nearly 2 years after I lost that child (a daughter) at 6 1/2 months, I really don't get sentiments like some of the ones expressed to me.

They were... odd.

I think a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" would suffice.

As for the tattoo, I think that was really what the waitress wanted, so what's the big deal?
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Old 06-09-2014, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Detroit suburbs
183 posts, read 265,179 times
Reputation: 257
I'm a pretty reserved person and not a big fan of tattoos in general but I can see why someone would want one in remembrance of someone special. I'm also not a big fan of it but around where I live many African Americans wear T-Shirts with a memorial of someone and also large memorials in the back windows of cars seem to be popping up everywhere. Not my thing but I'm old anyway, lol!
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Old 06-09-2014, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,169 posts, read 7,472,580 times
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To the OP, aside from your insensitive remarks about the miscarriage, no I do not think the body is an appropriate place for a memorial. There are grave markers for that.

Then again, I've never seen a tattoo that I thought looked good.
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Old 06-09-2014, 02:30 PM
 
994 posts, read 1,199,325 times
Reputation: 1995
Who cares? Is this one of those "AmIRight?!" kind of threads? I just don't see what there is to discuss.

We live in a country where people have the freedom to, more or less, do as they please. If a mourning tattoo for her miscarriage meant something for that woman, then that's all that matters. If you think it's ugly, then don't get one when you lose a loved one. Simple as that.
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Old 06-09-2014, 04:18 PM
 
2,795 posts, read 3,154,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
People say dumb things sometimes. I lost a child at 6 1/2 months' gestation and some of the hospital staff told me "you're young, you can have others" and some told me "you have 2 lovely boys, you're lucky."

While I agree that I was lucky that I had 2 kids already and I was fortunate enough to have a daughter nearly 2 years after I lost that child (a daughter) at 6 1/2 months, I really don't get sentiments like some of the ones expressed to me.

They were... odd.

I think a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" would suffice.

As for the tattoo, I think that was really what the waitress wanted, so what's the big deal?
Agree..so sorry for your loss as well. Even tho our son Eric never took a breath in this life the impact of his leaving hit us all, including his three living siblings, our son was looking forward to a baby brother, he was 5 but seem to understand in a child's terms my brother broken kept kissing his head saying I love you, our two daughters 4 and 2 didn't understand as much and as they held him so gently, the eldest daughter telling her little sister he asleep. To this day 23 years later we still take time out on his birthday as a family, he still very much alive in our hearts. So when I'm ask how many children do I have ? I say 3 but in my heart I know it's 4 , his name Eric he be 23....
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Old 06-09-2014, 04:56 PM
 
Location: My House
33,076 posts, read 26,889,149 times
Reputation: 24430
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildCard~ View Post
Agree..so sorry for your loss as well. Even tho our son Eric never took a breath in this life the impact of his leaving hit us all, including his three living siblings, our son was looking forward to a baby brother, he was 5 but seem to understand in a child's terms my brother broken kept kissing his head saying I love you, our two daughters 4 and 2 didn't understand as much and as they held him so gently, the eldest daughter telling her little sister he asleep. To this day 23 years later we still take time out on his birthday as a family, he still very much alive in our hearts. So when I'm ask how many children do I have ? I say 3 but in my heart I know it's 4 , his name Eric he be 23....
I know exactly how that feels, WildCard. My daughter would have turned 15 this summer. It's not something you ever get over. You just live with it.
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Old 06-09-2014, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,818 posts, read 39,375,570 times
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I don't think there is an "appropriate" or "inappropriate" way to memorialize someone you've lost so long as you're not breaking any kind of law to do so.
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Old 06-09-2014, 06:09 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,911 posts, read 4,229,909 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotzcatz View Post
One or two out of ten pregnancies end in mis-carriage (10 - 20%), it's almost a "normal" hazard of pregnancy. Some cultures don't even officially name the child until they are a year old due to high infant mortality rates.

Is she going to want to continue to dwell on it ten years from now? As a single almost mom, is it a good thing to write in huge letters on her arm? She's not the only one getting these types of tattoos, though. It just seems terribly morbid to write a death date on yourself.
Are you being purposefully dense and obtuse just for the sake of it? I mean, seriously. What does her marital status have to do with anything. Frankly, it doesn't matter how frequent a loss is, it is not your loss and thus not your concern or worry.

Honoring deceased loved ones in the form of a tattoo is an ancient practice. I don't think anyone who chooses to mourn their loved one gives a rat's a$$ what other people think. I sure the hell don't, and I doubt the woman you're referring to does.

I lost my first son at the end of my pregnancy. I have half sleeve (forearm) in progress dedicated to him, along with his foot prints tattooed on top of my feet and an assortment of other tattoos that have tremendous symbolism. I don't care whether someone thinks they're weird. I didn't ask them. They're for me. They're to honor my son.
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Old 06-09-2014, 06:18 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,830,509 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotzcatz View Post
One or two out of ten pregnancies end in mis-carriage (10 - 20%), it's almost a "normal" hazard of pregnancy. Some cultures don't even officially name the child until they are a year old due to high infant mortality rates.

Is she going to want to continue to dwell on it ten years from now? As a single almost mom, is it a good thing to write in huge letters on her arm? She's not the only one getting these types of tattoos, though. It just seems terribly morbid to write a death date on yourself.

You have no idea how devastating a miscarriage is, I had one in 1983 at 8 weeks and this is 2014 and I still think about that baby that I never had.
Who are you to say what others should or should not do to their bodies and what they should dwell on or not.
It really is none of your business to say anything about anyone else, their grief, their loss and how they should deal with it.
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Old 06-09-2014, 06:21 PM
 
9,352 posts, read 15,799,798 times
Reputation: 17142
Mourning tattoos symbolize life and love and memory -- not something dismal.
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