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Old 06-11-2014, 10:35 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,520,978 times
Reputation: 19578

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian658 View Post
Mourning is just another excuse for a tattoo. It replaces the one about "how the tattoo means so much to me and I spent years designing the tattoo, blah, blah".
Here we go again.

Posters, let the tattoo bashing ensue.

The OP just needs to understand that this woman tattooed her body and it was part of a mourning process. It was her lovely skin to ruin, it was her choice to make, and she did it.

If he wants to be the person to ask her why in the world she would do that over her dead baby, I guess that is what he needs to do.

Did that sound harsh? I guess it was.
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Old 06-11-2014, 03:01 PM
 
5,239 posts, read 6,513,758 times
Reputation: 11301
OP, I would have said nothing and waited for her to bring up the subject. You were kind and offered sympathy to her face and then criticize her behind her back? Better to say nothing at all, it's her business, her life.
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Old 06-11-2014, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,346,783 times
Reputation: 48613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian658 View Post
Mourning is just another excuse for a tattoo. It replaces the one about "how the tattoo means so much to me and I spent years designing the tattoo, blah, blah".
You've got it!

I truly believe that, upon the death of a loved one, the first thought that goes through many a mind is, "Sweet! Now I finally have an excuse to get that tattoo I've always wanted! Jackpot!!"

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Old 06-11-2014, 09:35 PM
 
11,427 posts, read 19,438,504 times
Reputation: 18124
I can't imagine having something so emotionally raw on my body. When my mom got sick, we quickly found out it was fatal and it would be very soon, I bought a piece of jewelry -- an angel wing with a blue crystal for colon cancer. I put it on, got hysterical, and tore it off.

It went into the jewelry box, and stayed until a year after my mother died, and I felt I had processed through the grief enough that I could wear it. Still couldn't wear it.

It was another year when I finally could... but only as a charm hanging off my watch, never around my neck. And the fact that people don't know what it's about means I don't have to keep revisiting the ordeal.

BUT -- I also felt losing my mother was a very personal thing. It was MY story, and I didn't want to share it. THAT foolish attitude nearly sent me into a nervous breakdown. I finally opened up and almost immediately felt better -- and the nightmares stopped -- yay for that!

It's been four years, and I'm in a much better place, but I still don't want to go on about it.

Frankly, someone that has the courage to have something SO personal put out there for the world to see.... that person is braver than me.
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Old 06-12-2014, 05:15 AM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
9,316 posts, read 17,951,460 times
Reputation: 7980
Thank you, Tallysmom, that was pretty much how I would have thought a constant reminder would be. People are constantly changing and yet tattoos aren't so I had been wondering what happens when the two don't match anymore.
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Old 06-12-2014, 05:30 AM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,346,783 times
Reputation: 48613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
I can't imagine having something so emotionally raw on my body. When my mom got sick, we quickly found out it was fatal and it would be very soon, I bought a piece of jewelry -- an angel wing with a blue crystal for colon cancer. I put it on, got hysterical, and tore it off.

It went into the jewelry box, and stayed until a year after my mother died, and I felt I had processed through the grief enough that I could wear it. Still couldn't wear it.

It was another year when I finally could... but only as a charm hanging off my watch, never around my neck. And the fact that people don't know what it's about means I don't have to keep revisiting the ordeal.

BUT -- I also felt losing my mother was a very personal thing. It was MY story, and I didn't want to share it. THAT foolish attitude nearly sent me into a nervous breakdown. I finally opened up and almost immediately felt better -- and the nightmares stopped -- yay for that!

It's been four years, and I'm in a much better place, but I still don't want to go on about it.

Frankly, someone that has the courage to have something SO personal put out there for the world to see.... that person is braver than me.
Not braver...just a different personality who deals with things differently. Kind of how some people are intensely private, and sharing their worries and/or issues with others causes them extreme stress, and others find it very helpful and therapeutic. Same kind of deal.
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Old 06-12-2014, 05:53 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,520,978 times
Reputation: 19578
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotzcatz View Post
Thank you, Tallysmom, that was pretty much how I would have thought a constant reminder would be. People are constantly changing and yet tattoos aren't so I had been wondering what happens when the two don't match anymore.
I have a tiger lily integrated into one of my tattoos which was my mothers favorite flower. Whenever I look at it, I smile. My tattoo is a large one and that part of it is on the back side of my arm, so I don't see it as much.

I would like to get a lone tiger lily somewhere on my body.

Do people think that there aren't so many things that aren't constant reminders of those we have lost?

I go to my sisters house and we drink out of my mothers coffee mugs. When I sit with my brothers and sisters, sometimes one of us will make an expression just like one my mother used to make. I look into the mirror and who do I see? My mother. As I get older, I look more and more like her.

My daughter just graduated and it hurt that my mother was not able to see it, the same with when my son graduated a couple of years ago.

I am now with a wonderful man who makes my life so happy and neither of my parents were every able to know about that.

Mothers Day has just gone by and Fathers Day is coming up and I can not spend it with either of my parents.

I go to my parents graves and I clean off their headstones. I drive past their old house and see how much it has changed. I see how the new owners cut down all of my dads fruit trees that we labored so hard on together. Things like that do make me sad for a minute. But for the rest of the time, I remember the time I spent with my dad working on those trees, and they were good times.

I could go on and on.

Tattoos are a form of expression, and they can also be to memorialize a person or a thing, even a happening. I have a few and they really are a part of me. That is what they become. You don't sit there and stare at them day in and day out. They are your skin. Do you sit there and stare at your skin all day?

I know I don't. People compliment me on one of mine all the time and half the time I have no idea what they are talking about until they use the word tattoo or ask how long it took or about the coloring, etc.

We (with tattoos) get dressed just like any other person and live our lives just the same. Do people without tattoos stare at their skin all day? No. Because that is ridiculous.

You don't need a tattoo to have a lost loved one float through your mind. You need a thought, a memory, a smell, a taste, a place. So many things.

Can we stop living? No. Did I have to stop using Oil of Olay moisturizer for over a year after my mother died? Yes. She wore it every day of her life and from the time I was a little girl, that smell connected me with my mother. I had the man at the funeral home apply and reapply it to my mothers hands.

The first time I went to use it after she passed I broke down.

I was in line behind some lady in the grocery store about 6 months ago and she smelled like my moms perfume along with cigarettes. All of these years later, a smell that smelled like her came wafting into my life and I thought of her.

But guess what? I did not think of her illness or her death. I just thought of her. It made me smile.

A memorial tattoo is in remembrance and is not a morbid thing that is meant to break us down.

If I get that lone tiger lily any person on the street would think that is all it was. If my brothers and sisters saw it, they would know.
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Old 06-12-2014, 04:52 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,363,024 times
Reputation: 11918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Because Tats arent for other people. They are for yourself.

I have Be Still on my inner wrist. Unless I turned my wrist and you asked, youd have no idea what it meant or why it was there specifically placed.
Clearly you didn't notice I was specifically referring to tattoos that are NOT visible to the owner...

I heard about a supermodel who got "breathe" tattooed on her inner wrist, I can understand that, she might've forgotten otherwise.
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Old 06-13-2014, 05:54 AM
 
413 posts, read 552,213 times
Reputation: 669
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
You've got it!

I truly believe that, upon the death of a loved one, the first thought that goes through many a mind is, "Sweet! Now I finally have an excuse to get that tattoo I've always wanted! Jackpot!!"

Yep, death always makes me think immediately "TATTOO! I have an excuse for another one!"
Although... I do have tattoos that represent dogs and cats that died. My first one was years in the making and I finally found a dog design that I liked. I was only going to get the one but then I went down to help with animal rescue after Hurricane Katrina and one of my cats died shortly afterward. So I got a cat.
Now I have 2 cats and 3 dogs and one more will finish off the circle around my ankle.
I also have one tattoo on my left leg. It doesn't represent death though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
Clearly you didn't notice I was specifically referring to tattoos that are NOT visible to the owner...

I heard about a supermodel who got "breathe" tattooed on her inner wrist, I can understand that, she might've forgotten otherwise.
I know plenty of people who have tattoos where they cannot see them without a hand mirror, maybe they don't need to see it at all times. Why do you care?
As far as the model with "breathe" on her wrist - maybe it has a deeper meaning - maybe it doesn't. Again why do you care?
I mean I could understand if people were being made to get tattoos against their will..
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Old 06-13-2014, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,504 posts, read 11,481,746 times
Reputation: 20971
A tattoo to remind me of a close one dying...no I dont think so ... I find it quite disturbing..
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