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Old 06-19-2014, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
241 posts, read 266,557 times
Reputation: 387

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashpelham View Post
OP: I'm not shocked at all that you had some trouble making readers understand what you were getting at, early in the thread. Personal appearance is something that most people I meet just ignore. Particularly in the deep south. Bad dieting and lack out outdoor, or indoor for that matter, activity just builds up over time.

As a result, they either become dis-engaged when the conversation turns to fitness or appearance, or at worst, become very defensive/jealous. They will defend their choices as part of "getting older" or "raising a family". I am doing both of those, and still carve out time to maintain SOME level of fitness, and I'm far from the magazine or TV version of perfect for a 38 year old male. It doesn't come easy, and you have to somewhat enjoy the challenge of keeping up with yourself.

I think some of it comes from never having to deal with it growing up, and then just taking for granted that one will always look "perfect" or whatever. Then it's a shock when their fitness falls off.

If a person doesn't want to be fit and doesn't take any pride in how they look, that's their choice, and I won't deride them for it. The last thing I ever want to be called is judgmental, but I would appreciate the same in return just because I DO take pride in my appearance. None of the jealousy or judgemental-ness is necessary, welcomed, or healthy.
This absolutely true. The reason so many people see grooming yourself as a waste of time is because they view it as an unnecessary chore. You have to learn to enjoy bettering yourself, after all the reward of having good health is worth it. My sister is a wife, mother to three kids and on top of that works. She manages to care of herself by incorporating her grooming routines with her regular routine. She cooks healthy meals for her entire family, takes the kids to the park to workout, and taught them how to groom themselves with out her help. It is possible folks, you just got to learn to enjoy it and make part of your everyday routine.

Last edited by MissLadyLexi25; 06-19-2014 at 02:39 PM..
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Old 06-19-2014, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
241 posts, read 266,557 times
Reputation: 387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vintage_girl View Post
Wow people as usual on CD in the Fashion forum are taking things waaaaaay too personally.

Here's a good vid (only 6 and a half mns):


Why You Should Always Dress Your Best - YouTube

Notice how she said TRY to look your best. She didn't say look like a supermodel, get plastic surgery, get hot enough for an SO, etc. It's a little funny people think this post is judgmental and nasty when if you look at a lot of the threads here...yeah. Just saying.
Wonderful video. She is right, when you dress your best you instantly feel more confident.
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Old 06-19-2014, 02:03 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,056 posts, read 7,972,057 times
Reputation: 11450
Even if you are overweight and never exercise, it is still possible to take care of yourself by doing your hair (even if it's just washing and blow drying it), using some makeup, and dressing for your body type. Someone like Melissa McCarthy. The other week I was at Target and saw a very over weight woman who was wearing ill fitting stretch pants and an old t-shirt. There wasn't enough material to the t-shirt so her gut was hanging out over her stretch pants. It looked like she hadn't showered or washed her hair in quite some time. It was gross. You can be overweight and still present yourself nicely.
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Old 06-19-2014, 04:02 PM
 
892 posts, read 1,128,484 times
Reputation: 453
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLadyLexi25 View Post
This absolutely true. The reason so many people see grooming yourself as a waste of time is because they view it as an unnecessary chore. You have to learn to enjoy bettering yourself, after all the reward of having good health is worth it. My sister is a wife, mother to three kids and on top of that works. She manages to care of herself by incorporating her grooming routines with her regular routine. She cooks healthy meals for her entire family, takes the kids to the park to workout, and taught them how to groom themselves with out her help. It is possible folks, you just got to learn to enjoy it and make part of your everyday routine.

I agree with the chore part. I feel like it can be a chore or worse spend money on things or clothes that are meaningless to me. I rather spend on travel and other things

Maybe I am think more of style because brushing your teeth, hygiene and other things are basic to me. This is obvious, but the other things is mostly to impress other people like makeup and buying stylist clothes.

Also fitness and eating right is not guarantee of good health. Also, I hate the weight loss marketing that one will feel so much better after weight loss. I am losing weight as we speak, but it is not like I feel or look that much better. I think this applies to the average height woman or man who is flabby I have never had rolls or been wide, so when I lose weight I do not think I look that much better. I basically only lose because the scale says I am overweight but I never think I look bad. I am might drop a size after losing about 25lbs. It is not that deep. Also, I prefer to have a little of everything and just be active and not in a gym way.

I have quit overeating and this is what makes me feel good and not having that guilt feeling after eating not just eating salads or whatever.
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Old 06-19-2014, 04:05 PM
 
892 posts, read 1,128,484 times
Reputation: 453
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLadyLexi25 View Post
Wonderful video. She is right, when you dress your best you instantly feel more confident.
But that is a lot of work for someone like me and a lot of money. Lets say I want a straight look for my hair. I feel that most confident. As an AA that could take hours and also do damage to my hair. I am natural and like it, but I would like to switch styles.


Then clothing being tall equals shopping is not fun at all. It could takes me weeks or months to find clothing and then worse to spend money on something I really do not care about. As long I look good without my clothing that is really all I care about.
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Old 06-19-2014, 04:09 PM
 
892 posts, read 1,128,484 times
Reputation: 453
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLadyLexi25 View Post
Grow some confidence, stop determining your attractiveness on the opinions of strangers on the internet. I am not encouraging other people to take care if themselves solely to attract the opposite sex but for THEMSELVES. You have to have more then your appearance to offer to a relationship.

If you truly take good care in grooming yourself, dieting, and presentation then you should be happy about were you are with your appearance and health. Physically I look the best I have ever been, but I don't look anywhere close to a Victoria Secret model or any of the airbrushed beauties in Men's magazines. But I am happy and content with my appearance because I know I have preserved my nature beauty to its fullest. I may not have perfect curves to appear in Playboy anytime soon, or won the genetic lottery when it came to having a plump butt/big boobs but I still love my body and natural beauty. Your problem is you compare yourself too much to airbrushed pictures of models who society puts on a pedestal as the epitome of human aesthetics. You don't need to look like that to be attractive, having a great attitude and carrying yourself with dignity can add to anyones attractiveness along with a good personality.

Agree with this completely, but we are trained to look attractive for the opposite sex. I really don't see the point of just looking good for yourself.
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Old 06-19-2014, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
241 posts, read 266,557 times
Reputation: 387
Quote:
Originally Posted by stephei2000 View Post
I agree with the chore part. I feel like it can be a chore or worse spend money on things or clothes that are meaningless to me. I rather spend on travel and other things

Maybe I am think more of style because brushing your teeth, hygiene and other things are basic to me. This is obvious, but the other things is mostly to impress other people like makeup and buying stylist clothes.

Also fitness and eating right is not guarantee of good health. Also, I hate the weight loss marketing that one will feel so much better after weight loss. I am losing weight as we speak, but it is not like I feel or look that much better. I think this applies to the average height woman or man who is flabby I have never had rolls or been wide, so when I lose weight I do not think I look that much better. I basically only lose because the scale says I am overweight but I never think I look bad. I am might drop a size after losing about 25lbs. It is not that deep. Also, I prefer to have a little of everything and just be active and not in a gym way.

I have quit overeating and this is what makes me feel good and not having that guilt feeling after eating not just eating salads or whatever.
You sound confident and happy yourself which is all what really matters. I could be projecting my feelings a bit on people here and assuming my experience will be the same for the majority.
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Old 06-19-2014, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,395 posts, read 3,569,344 times
Reputation: 7773
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLadyLexi25 View Post
The majority of people are lazy these days and are quick to let themselves go. I strongly believe though if everyone put in a good effort in dieting, styling, and grooming most people could be at least average looking. Just look at Europe and Brazil for example, same genetics basically the only difference is they weigh less and dress better therefor look better then the average american. With the amount of european stock most people are mixed with I actually think if people got into shape we could be considered one of the best looking nations in the world. As the russian saying goes,"no such thing as an ugly women only a lazy." This of course also applies to men. What do you think?
Depends what you consider "a little effort."

Try telling someone to go to the gym, wear fashionable clothes, and invest in styling grooming when they work two job and have three kids at home.
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Old 06-19-2014, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
241 posts, read 266,557 times
Reputation: 387
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
Depends what you consider "a little effort."

Try telling someone to go to the gym, wear fashionable clothes, and invest in styling grooming when they work two job and have three kids at home.
Here what I do:
- every morning I brush my teeth, wash up, and spend 6-10 minutes on my hair and makeup.
- I work with the clothes I got, I just make sure they fit me properly and look tidy.
-eat healthy and nutrition snacks throughout my day.
- schedule in a 30-45 minute run on the weekends.
- apply skin regimes on my face to prevent acne break outs nightly.
- wash my hair once a week
That's it. A lot people on this forum are acting like I am telling them to spend three hours everyday doing their nails or spend all their money on designer brands.

Last edited by MissLadyLexi25; 06-19-2014 at 05:14 PM..
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Old 06-19-2014, 05:28 PM
 
8,021 posts, read 6,237,909 times
Reputation: 12004
A lot of people take offense at someone telling them what to do. Also a lot of people do not like feeling they have to bend over backwards to please others. Especially random strangers. That's all there is to it.
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