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Old 07-03-2014, 09:48 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,166 posts, read 43,444,026 times
Reputation: 18544

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
I don't train people anymore because I got burned out doing it. A lot of trainers I know who try and help people get burnt out because many people don't want to accept that making radical dietary changes (not just working out an hour every 2-3 days with their trainer) is crucial to the process. It's frustrating seeing a person come train with you week after week and not make any real change because they refuse to stop eating all of the crap. After a while you get to the point of saying...why am I doing this besides collecting a check? I love helping people and encouraging those who are trying. I don't like having my time wasted by those who can't be bothered to put forth a genuine and consistent effort.
I do understand that, if it's obvious they don't care enough to even TRY. Maybe those types were being forced by a doctor or family member? I wasn't exactly a willing participant in those Weight Watchers camps, but despite my protests still lost weight every time - and promptly gained it back upon returning home. Can't save 'em all, I guess.
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Old 07-04-2014, 12:28 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,867 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo980 View Post
You're ignoring one glaring point (made originally by Jade), though... for some people it's easy to maintain a healthy weight even with bad habits, for others it is a daily struggle of constant dieting & exercise just to maintain "normal" or chubby. So I think you and the other poster completely missed her point.

To give my own similar example, I had a friend in high school who was a VERY thin Chinese girl - weighed like 95lbs soaking wet, and she was almost my height at around 5'5". She ate like crap, lots of pizza, donuts, french fries, you name it, and was also rather lazy when it came to physical activities. She actually tried to gain weight (thought she'd grow boobs that way), but never got above that size until after having a baby around age 30. She's still pretty small, but finally got those boobs she always wanted. LOL

Meanwhile (in middle/high school) I was training daily in figure skating, dance, horseback riding, played on the badminton & tennis teams, swim team, etc, and didn't eat very badly... but somehow I still weighed around 140-160lbs during my skating years, and quickly ballooned up to 200lbs+ the minute I stopped. It's called genetics/metabolism, and you'd have to be quite ignorant to deny we're not all made differently. That doesn't mean I cannot lose weight, as I have lost quite a bit & maintained over the years, but it's a STRUGGLE. Daily. One of the many unfair things about life, I guess.

P.S. Being ostracized or bullied isn't often what motivates one to lose weight, in fact that usually has the opposite effect. Ever heard of stress eating? I finally lost weight when I decided I'D had enough, and just wanted to feel better about MYSELF. All came from within me, nothing to do with people being jerks.
I had a coworker (superior) comment to me one day. "Wow, you don't really eat much...dI am surprised you are not smaller."

My sister and I, although similar-ish in build, have polar opposite metabolisms. She has gained a bit recently. But I have always been larger than her (and our weight distributes quite differently). She lost 20 pounds in a 2-3 months by eating more veggies. When I lost 20 pounds it took counting every calorie and exercising strenuously 5X a week over 6 months.

It doesn't work the same for all of us, that's for sure. My mom, has always been a "skinny minnie" but is also hypothyroid like me. She is also in her 60s. Now just to maintain, she only eats produce after 3 (and gardens daily). My mom never had a hearty appetite after 30 or 35, now as a senior citizen, she eats like a bird!
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Old 07-04-2014, 12:54 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,867 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
As for a little more back on topic. As for "sexuality."

Well there is a bit of stigma, for some people, when they are attracted to "overweight people." Many people are. Being overweight doesn't automatically equal ugly/unattratcitve/not sexy. Attraction is way more complicated than that.

But our society likes to make it appear that your life will magically "start" (or be perfect) when you get to be that perfect weight. The reality is people of all shapes and sizes are leading healthy, happy, and productive lives full of love.

There is also another misconception that "overweight people" only attract "overweight people."

In my own case this isn't true at all, I attract all sorts of people from fellow chubby people to athletic to body builders to slim. Oddly, as I have gotten older I seem to be attracting way more athlete types. I won't complain.

What we really need to do is stop implying that being overweight makes you a horrible and worthless person so you should stay home until you lose weight. It is much much easier to make healthier decisions when you are comfortable in your own (current) skin. We should really save that vitriol for people who deserve it. How about child molesters, rapists and domestic abusers?
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Old 07-04-2014, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Oceania
8,623 posts, read 5,891,490 times
Reputation: 8318
Why is a thread about obesity in a human sexuality forum? I don't see how it touches on the subject of sex in the slightest bit.

Seriously
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Old 07-04-2014, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Southern New Jersey
175 posts, read 519,590 times
Reputation: 403
I've been "plump" "fat" "chunky" "portly" most of my adult life, and I know of quite a few times that I was discriminated against due to my weight-not being a "Ken" type of man-being a White male, and because I am straight as an arrow. Anyone interviewing you or talking to you as a prospective employee doesn't have to say a word or reason why you're not hired. But I've been in the position where I had the skills, I had the knowledge, I had the ability to function in the position I applied for-but instinctively knew I wasn't hired because I was fat. I've been discriminated against in the same situation because they were looking for someone who was more of a "model" kind of person for a resort.. Never gave me an explanation, just was told they hired someone else. At most resorts-you'd better meet a certain "image" or don't even bother to apply. Only "Barbies/Kens" need to go apply. Discrimination does exist in other areas whether people realize it or not. I was told that they wouldn't even accept my application unless I was Bi-Lingual. Which is not only discrimination, but Illegal. I've seen dozen of want ads in the past in Tucson saying that applicants MUST be Bi-Lingual to apply. Discrimination. I was actually told once that I need not apply because they had quotas to fill. And that basically as a Fat White Male I needn't apply. So sadly discrimination does still exist. Even age is a barrier to finding work. But most of my life I've been looked down on because I'm overweight.
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Old 07-04-2014, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Yakima WA
3,856 posts, read 4,276,729 times
Reputation: 3155
It seems as obesity rates have gone up there is less discrimination. If someone is overweight, yet not obese, they are at the national average and blend in with everyone else.

As for sexuality, i don't think discrimination is the right word. Everyone is attracted to what their attracted to. No one can change their preferences even if on some intellectual level they think it would be the right, fair thing to do.

Last edited by Jay F; 07-04-2014 at 01:47 PM..
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Old 07-04-2014, 02:20 PM
 
706 posts, read 911,897 times
Reputation: 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay F View Post
It seems as obesity rates have gone up there is less discrimination. If someone is overweight, yet not obese, they are at the national average and blend in with everyone else.

As for sexuality, i don't think discrimination is the right word. Everyone is attracted to what their attracted to. No one can change their preferences even if on some intellectual level they think it would be the right, fair thing to do.
I'm not sure if the rise in obesity has resulted in less discrimination just yet. I definitely see a trend of praising or glamorizing not necessarily the obese, but definitely the overweight. I've seen it moreso with women than men with the rise of the fat acceptance movement and the whole "big is beautiful" campaign.

If things don't turn around in the next 5-10 years, I foresee normal weight and especially thin/fit people being the scarce minority. Only then do I think the discrimination will end.
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Old 07-04-2014, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Yakima WA
3,856 posts, read 4,276,729 times
Reputation: 3155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
I'm not sure if the rise in obesity has resulted in less discrimination just yet. I definitely see a trend of praising or glamorizing not necessarily the obese, but definitely the overweight. I've seen it moreso with women than men with the rise of the fat acceptance movement and the whole "big is beautiful" campaign.

If things don't turn around in the next 5-10 years, I foresee normal weight and especially thin/fit people being the scarce minority. Only then do I think the discrimination will end.
The fat acceptance movement seems to feed on itself. The more society accepts obesity the more of it we have. If there was intense stigma and shaming for being obese more people would make it a priority to avoid it because the discrimination would be unbearable.

I had an experience that cemented my belief that the more obesity the less discrimination. I live in a smaller town in WA state with a high level of obesity. I had a business client who is morbidly obese and no one looks at her twice. One day we met in Seattle (which has a low obesity rate) and i was shocked at how many people were giving her dirty looks. I even saw a couple of young ladies point at her...which reminds me it was all other women giving her the negative attention.
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Old 07-04-2014, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,867 posts, read 28,137,614 times
Reputation: 25975
Wait I am confused. It's too much to ask that people don't stare out you rudely when you are overweight, and treat you less than human. This is problematic?

No wonder society is screwed up.
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Old 07-04-2014, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Yakima WA
3,856 posts, read 4,276,729 times
Reputation: 3155
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Wait I am confused. It's too much to ask that people don't stare out you rudely when you are overweight, and treat you less than human. This is problematic?

No wonder society is screwed up.
Agreed...it's not screwed up by random chance but by the individual decisions we make.
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