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Old 01-22-2015, 04:12 PM
 
378 posts, read 308,811 times
Reputation: 408

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I work in an office. I receive comments about my body on a regular basis at work. I am very petite. I have heard:
"You look fit"
"You look like a runner" (I'm not. I have terrible endurance)
"You're so skinny. I hate you!" <--That was my (female) manager
"You're so tiny!"
"How did a baby come out of you??"

These comments have come from both males and females, and I have never felt hit on. None of these comments are sexual in nature; we have really got to stop thinking of the human body as just a sex object. A person commenting on another person's fit appearance does not mean that he/she is *checking out* that person's body. I don't understand why someone would run to HR and complain over something so trivial. So glad I don't work in an uptight office!

Our bodies are a reflection of our health, generally. There is nothing wrong with saying that someone appears to be in good health.

I am very sorry that the OP was reprimanded for making such a comment. If the woman took offense, perhaps she should have spoken directly with the OP. A simple "That comment made me feel ____." could have solved that problem. No reason to run crying to a third party.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:20 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,676 posts, read 64,172,365 times
Reputation: 68458
Quote:
Originally Posted by OuiOui View Post
I work in an office. I receive comments about my body on a regular basis at work. I am very petite. I have heard:
"You look fit"
"You look like a runner" (I'm not. I have terrible endurance)
"You're so skinny. I hate you!" <--That was my (female) manager
"You're so tiny!"
"How did a baby come out of you??"
.
Slightly off-topic, but this is what I was talking about earlier. How does someone "look like a runner" and is that even a compliment? The only dedicated runners I've seen look very wiry, wit no extra flesh or shape to them. Why these odd assumptions about people? I guess it's just an attempt to make conversation...?
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
13,148 posts, read 7,398,957 times
Reputation: 27260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghengis View Post
it's best just not too be too complimentary, "hey, you're not that hideous looking at all today" is generally considered safe
Exactly. Of course you could always go with the absolute worst compliment ever. Many husbands have made the mistake of saying this to their wives, and these five words are frequently the first step toward a divorce:

"You look fine in that outfit."
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:31 PM
 
378 posts, read 308,811 times
Reputation: 408
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Slightly off-topic, but this is what I was talking about earlier. How does someone "look like a runner" and is that even a compliment? The only dedicated runners I've seen look very wiry, wit no extra flesh or shape to them. Why these odd assumptions about people? I guess it's just an attempt to make conversation...?
Well, I do look frail, so maybe he was trying to put it nicely. In that case, I didn't feel like he was trying to compliment me. He ended up telling me about some half marathon coming up.
Of course I avoid any and all cardio because if I lose any weight I might disappear.

It is strange that people assume that petite women are deliberately that size. That's not always the case. I get soo many comments and compliments about being small, when in fact I've struggled to GAIN weight my whole life!

So I guess it's funny, because for me, a truly flattering statement would be more like: "You've put on some pounds!"
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:35 PM
 
191 posts, read 174,874 times
Reputation: 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Many years ago, I made the mistake of giving a female co-worker a compliment. I said along the lines that she looked really fit and I was issued a warning citation from HR dept that person took it that I was trying to hit on her. She knows that I have a gf too, even the HR person knows me well said that they're going to let it go because they know that I didn't have any intention.

But, it's ok when women say that to a guy or another gal that they look good today or they look fit while guys can't say anything to women in fear that they'll get reported on.

If women want equality, how can such double standards exist?

Because us guys got a bad wrap when it comes to sexual harrassments. Many others have made it hard for guys with good intentions.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:37 PM
 
191 posts, read 174,874 times
Reputation: 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don't Need to Cheat View Post
Women and minorities can do and say whatever they like. The white man is screwed!
Yea they've had to fight for their civil rights too ... so can't really compare. Short end of the stick.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
18,852 posts, read 12,481,974 times
Reputation: 24304
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Many years ago, I made the mistake of giving a female co-worker a compliment. I said along the lines that she looked really fit and I was issued a warning citation from HR dept that person took it that I was trying to hit on her. She knows that I have a gf too, even the HR person knows me well said that they're going to let it go because they know that I didn't have any intention.

But, it's ok when women say that to a guy or another gal that they look good today or they look fit while guys can't say anything to women in fear that they'll get reported on.

If women want equality, how can such double standards exist?
No. Women should not give out complements on physical experience to any co worker, particularly if they are in a position of authority. Ever.

Calling a co worker "fit" is shorthand for telling her she has a great figure. So, I assume umbrage was taken.
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY
30,408 posts, read 9,092,686 times
Reputation: 28951
OFPS, and to think I came to the Fashion and Beauty forum to see if there were any "makeup" threads.
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:07 PM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,537,002 times
Reputation: 16468
Quote:
Originally Posted by don't need to cheat View Post
women and minorities can do and say whatever they like. The white man is screwed!
bs
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:10 PM
 
14,790 posts, read 13,482,539 times
Reputation: 20478
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Many years ago, I made the mistake of giving a female co-worker a compliment. I said along the lines that she looked really fit and I was issued a warning citation from HR dept that person took it that I was trying to hit on her. She knows that I have a gf too, even the HR person knows me well said that they're going to let it go because they know that I didn't have any intention.

But, it's ok when women say that to a guy or another gal that they look good today or they look fit while guys can't say anything to women in fear that they'll get reported on.

If women want equality, how can such double standards exist?
I don't know.
Maybe its the way you said it.

Last edited by artemis agrotera; 01-22-2015 at 05:58 PM..
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