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Old 01-23-2015, 11:44 PM
 
48,519 posts, read 81,013,914 times
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I'd say this is in some cultures in modern society a problem .In others its not.US is made up of a lot of cultural difference more by region. Where I live at your comment would be a compliment as not so much political correctness as apparently you area.
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Old 01-24-2015, 05:32 AM
 
Location: U.S. (East Coast)
1,231 posts, read 976,302 times
Reputation: 2626
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
[Originally Posted by G0DDESS View Post
For those of you who aren't aware: "FIT" is a pretty popular compliment around the world (not in America) to basically say that someone looks sexy or attractive.

"FIT" to us Americans is like saying "oh, you must work out, you have a nice muscular body" but in other cultures it has definite sexual and/or attraction vibes to it. Almost like saying someone is hott to us. It's not over the top or offensive but it still implies attraction or interest in some way.]


We can twist the meaning around in whichever way is one thing, reacting to it is another thing. I didn't have any intentions other than making a compliment in a conversation. I know she probably didn't really wanted to have a conversation with me but she's the chatty type herself and couldn't stop yapping with me and I was comfortable enough to just mention that she looked fit.
I can sense the defensiveness in your tone but it's not a big deal. I wouldn't have had a problem with it myself. However - it IS all about HOW you say it.

There's a line between being flirty/complimenting/fun/social and having a total creep energy about you. You may have crossed that creep line with her.. if that's the case, I can see why she would be scared.

She may have also wanted attention from other members in the office and decided she could play victim by reporting you. You never know..
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Proxima Centauri
3,754 posts, read 1,591,896 times
Reputation: 4147
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Many years ago, I made the mistake of giving a female co-worker a compliment. I said along the lines that she looked really fit and I was issued a warning citation from HR dept that person took it that I was trying to hit on her. She knows that I have a gf too, even the HR person knows me well said that they're going to let it go because they know that I didn't have any intention.

But, it's ok when women say that to a guy or another gal that they look good today or they look fit while guys can't say anything to women in fear that they'll get reported on.

If women want equality, how can such double standards exist?
Don't go near women at work. If a dating situation doesn't work out you have trouble.

All women have a double standard. Men that they find attractive have bedroom eyes. Men that they don't find attractive are ogling and leering.

Sorry. Avoid her she is trouble. She's also stupid. Complimenting her once is not harassment. Personnel probably already has her pegged as a trouble maker.

I reiterate. Avoid her.
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Old 01-24-2015, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 10,519,757 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G0DDESS View Post


She may have also wanted attention from other members in the office and decided she could play victim by reporting you. You never know..
I HATE it when people do that. I am the kind of person who abhors preferential treatment.
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Old 01-24-2015, 08:36 AM
 
Location: H-Tine, Texas
6,742 posts, read 3,867,542 times
Reputation: 8522
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonyafd View Post
Don't go near women at work. If a dating situation doesn't work out you have trouble.

All women have a double standard. Men that they find attractive have bedroom eyes. Men that they don't find attractive are ogling and leering.

Sorry. Avoid her she is trouble. She's also stupid. Complimenting her once is not harassment. Personnel probably already has her pegged as a trouble maker.

I reiterate. Avoid her.
Pretty much. We all know that if she was single and thought the OP was gorgeous, she would have not reported him to HR for his compliment.

There's really no denying that.
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Old 01-24-2015, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,236 posts, read 13,520,511 times
Reputation: 25856
Men -

Just don't compliment anything at all about the opposite, EVER. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Now I'm more convinced than ever after reading some of the most pathetic attempts of rationalizing on this thread that I have ever seen.
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:05 PM
 
2,096 posts, read 2,939,800 times
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So do the gay men make comments on how "fit" you look?
How does it make you feel?
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:53 PM
 
Location: H-Tine, Texas
6,742 posts, read 3,867,542 times
Reputation: 8522
Quote:
Originally Posted by 8635angelvalley View Post
So do the gay men make comments on how "fit" you look?
How does it make you feel?
I used to work with an openly gay guy my first job out of college and he would compliment me from time to time. Our desks were near each other and on occasion, he would throw paper clips at me in a flirty manner. We had a work function one time and when he got drunk, he admitted that he thought I was hot.


Of course, I didn't make a big deal out of it because, well, I'm a guy.
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Old 01-24-2015, 06:52 PM
 
1,385 posts, read 1,777,834 times
Reputation: 1806
Quote:
Originally Posted by OuiOui View Post
I work in an office. I receive comments about my body on a regular basis at work. I am very petite. I have heard:
"You look fit"
"You look like a runner" (I'm not. I have terrible endurance)
"You're so skinny. I hate you!" <--That was my (female) manager
"You're so tiny!"
"How did a baby come out of you??"

These comments have come from both males and females, and I have never felt hit on. None of these comments are sexual in nature; we have really got to stop thinking of the human body as just a sex object. A person commenting on another person's fit appearance does not mean that he/she is *checking out* that person's body. I don't understand why someone would run to HR and complain over something so trivial. So glad I don't work in an uptight office!

Our bodies are a reflection of our health, generally. There is nothing wrong with saying that someone appears to be in good health.

I am very sorry that the OP was reprimanded for making such a comment. If the woman took offense, perhaps she should have spoken directly with the OP. A simple "That comment made me feel ____." could have solved that problem. No reason to run crying to a third party.
I know! Staying fit is a big investment in time...bring on the compliments. In fact, I loathe the day I don't get a compliment.
I have never met a man that responds poorly to "ya, been to the gym a lot lately?"
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:32 PM
 
14,790 posts, read 13,479,584 times
Reputation: 20478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesmama View Post
Men -

Just don't compliment anything at all about the opposite, EVER. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Now I'm more convinced than ever after reading some of the most pathetic attempts of rationalizing on this thread that I have ever seen.
not always. My work colleague commented about a week ago, that I looked nice. I didn't feel the need to report anything, I didn't feel uncomfortable, it was just a comment. I think "know your audience" applies here.
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