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Many years ago, I made the mistake of giving a female co-worker a compliment. I said along the lines that she looked really fit and I was issued a warning citation from HR dept that person took it that I was trying to hit on her. She knows that I have a gf too, even the HR person knows me well said that they're going to let it go because they know that I didn't have any intention.
But, it's ok when women say that to a guy or another gal that they look good today or they look fit while guys can't say anything to women in fear that they'll get reported on.
If women want equality, how can such double standards exist?
I agree with Pitt Chick. Also, telling someone "Hey, I like your necklace," or "Your hair looks great today," is different from "You look fit" which is basically saying you were checking out their body...
It was polite and I'm never the person to hit on someone openly with that sort of compliment, it was just a frank compliment in a conversation. Of course I never say it again at work but I hear women say the same thing to each other and I've gotten compliments from women saying that I always look fit and no issues.
I agree with Pitt Chick. Also, telling someone "Hey, I like your necklace," or "Your hair looks great today," is different from "You look fit" which is basically saying you were checking out their body...
This. Even "nice outfit!", or "beautiful dress!" would be better than telling someone they're fit.
What does "fit" even mean? Lots of women are slim and trim. That doesn't mean they work out or run regularly or engage in any physical activity that would make them "fit". I've been told by other women that I'm "athletic" at times in my life when I wasn't at all engaged in any exercise program. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. Where do people get this? How do you even know she's fit, OP? Did you take her blood pressure and measure her heart rate after putting her on a treadmill?
It was polite and I'm never the person to hit on someone openly with that sort of compliment, it was just a frank compliment in a conversation. Of course I never say it again at work but I hear women say the same thing to each other and I've gotten compliments from women saying that I always look fit and no issues.
That's because you didn't make it an issue, but that other woman did. You can't know that a double standard even exists until you know that HR will treat complaints from men and women differently.
But, it's ok when women say that to a guy or another gal that they look good today or they look fit while guys can't say anything to women in fear that they'll get reported on.
Commenting on how fit someone's body looks is essentially admitting "Hey, I've been checking out your body."
Compare this with safer compliments, such as:
- "I love that shade of blue you're wearing!"
- "Cool necklace, it looks antique, is it?"
I honestly cannot see why anyone would feel share their opinion about a coworker's body at work - regardless of whether the body in question belongs to a male or female.
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