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Old 04-01-2015, 08:53 AM
 
2,079 posts, read 2,476,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by futts View Post
No, here's an idea. How about you control yourself. You say women can "wear whatever they want" and then said they can't dress provocatively. Which is it?

Did you really just say that women are "asking for it"? Yes, yes you did.
I made myself perfectly clear. if you don't want the attention, then don't dress that way. otherwise, just put up with it. im not the kind to stare but my basic biological sexual urges will cause me to shoot an occasional glance. even normal, "respectable" men such as i are guilty of this. it's not that much on an issue that warrants a need for me to "control" myself.

those Neanderthals at the construction site catcalling and staring at your low cut tanktop are the ones that need to control themselves.

we get it, you want to throw it out there that you dress that way because it "makes you feel good about yourself". lol, that is just womanese for "I want the attention from the opposite sex and then I will give them dirty looks for looking at me, that way, I have all the power. muwahahahaha". its an ego thing. just admit it and we can all move on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WildCard~ View Post
First off hookers come up to you... Second one needs to control their own lust and action or lack of stop using others as their excuse for bad behavior.....
how would you know?

my urges are well within my control, thank you. a certain percentage of guys, however, will always be unable to control themselves. but I aint gonna be made to feel bad because I looked the other way for a split second when a woman in tight apple bottom jeans and a low cut tanktop passed by me.
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Old 04-01-2015, 11:04 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,625 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Selena777 View Post
Exactly. Even when I was single, I only cared about what people I found attractive thought about my appearance, and not enough to give them power of veto if I really liked something. Men aren't a monolith - there are certainly generational/culture/subcultural divides and differences in opinion. If the guy is not part of my "targeted demographic", or sounds like someone who I wouldn't get along with anyway, there's no social benefit to him finding me attractive, especially if it means I have to sacrifice my aesthetic preferences, time, effort, money or enjoyment (because the primary goal for many women in this area is fun, and not necessarily attracting men - men often don't care about how your nails are done or the quality/brand of your purse, but these can be points of interest and obsession among many women).
That sounds sensible, but it falls apart if those personal style preferences happen to be vulgar (including to more than a few women) and it fails due to not really knowing what the target demographic likes, which usually is barely known. Forum "shoulds" make me think men have more conservative tastes than popular media would have us believe, but I believe the only preferences of large male sub-groups that are well-known are those of dirtbags. In practice, many young women these days are dressing for them these days, even though most of those women wouldn't be happy long-term with dirtbags.
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Old 04-01-2015, 11:16 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,625 posts, read 2,113,543 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
I think that some are saying they want more women who fit their ideal form, so they have more to choose from. That the pool of attractive and conservative looking women is too small. They also just don't want to look at women who they find unattractive in revealing clothes.

That is a very egocentric point of view, but they are welcome to it. That's what is so great about living here. Everyone gets to do what they want and say what they want as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights. Also by espousing this view publicly, some women can be clued in and see the red flags.
Finally admitting that "the pool of attractive and conservative looking women" is small?

My POV is not well hidden or very "egocentric." For example, while I complain about how "young women" dress, I'm not open to dating a woman under 25 (under 30 sounds iffy to me). It dismays my morals when I see that, for I equate trashy style with promiscuity and more, things that damage society. I think it's more egocentric for women to say, "I don't care what men like, I do what I want."

Also, for the record, I don't believe most women who dress frumpy are happy with their style. They probably aren't really trying.
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Old 04-01-2015, 11:26 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,096,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
Finally admitting that "the pool of attractive and conservative looking women" is small?

My POV is not well hidden or very "egocentric." For example, while I complain about how "young women" dress, I'm not open to dating a woman under 25 (under 30 sounds iffy to me). It dismays my morals when I see that, for I equate trashy style with promiscuity and more, things that damage society. I think it's more egocentric for women to say, "I don't care what men like, I do what I want."

Also, for the record, I don't believe most women who dress frumpy are happy with their style. They probably aren't really trying.
No, I do not think that. I was trying to explain your point of view. We all make choices based on our own wants, however we should not impose our wants on others. When you disregard the other persons choices, you are being ego centric. You want women to wear what you want them to because of your desires.

I can see your point of view, but you can't see mine. That's very interesting to me.

I prefer a clean cut preppy look in guys. However, I'm not trying to control other men and dictate how they dress or wear their hair. I don't post rules for how guys should dress, or even think they should change. I also prefer flat stomachs, but I don't freak out over Dunlop bellies. Men should look and act how they wish. Even if they don't bathe enough or seem dirty to me.
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Old 04-01-2015, 12:01 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,625 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
I'm not going to understand the tolerance of uncleanliness. Anyway, good-looking, clean-cut men aren't hard to find anywhere that I know of. Even unattached men. Imagine that almost all the guys you see with good faces or bodies have douchebag style. Wouldn't that be unpleasant? Because these days with women under 30, at least in the temperate or warm months, there's little middle ground between trashy-hot and unsexy. Maybe not so among Asian women, but I and many other men don't go for them anyway. I insist my observation is fairly accurate and that things should not be that way.

Last edited by goodheathen; 04-01-2015 at 12:10 PM..
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Old 04-01-2015, 12:14 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,096,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
I'm not going to understand the tolerance of uncleanliness. Anyway, good-looking, clean-cut men aren't hard to find anywhere that I know of. Even unattached men. Imagine that almost all the guys you see with good faces or bodies have douchebag style. Wouldn't that be unpleasant? Because these days with women under 30, at least in the temperate or warm months, there's little middle ground between trashy-hot and not sexy. Maybe not so among Asian women, but I and many other men don't go for them anyway. I insist my observation is fairly accurate and that things should not be that way.
Well, I rarely see men who epitomize the sartorial style I admire. So my dating pool would likely be small if I was single. Your idea of preppy and clean cut is not mine. However, I don't ask that men dress to please me. If I was single I would find someone who fit my desires, oh wait....I already did that.

I don't care how 95% of the population dresses and I wouldn't dream of imposing my will on them.they are not out there to please me. They can please themselves.

Just look for someone that's fits your ideal and hope that you fit theirs. You don't need 100 different women, just a few. There are tons of single people out there. If you are having trouble meeting someone, try some introspection. A positive attitude goes a long way.

I will say that I personally do have a conservative style, but I don't begrudge others who want tattoos and see through clothing. It's their style.
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Old 04-01-2015, 12:27 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,625 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
That mostly misses the point, which is that it's unpleasant to be around more than a few people who look like that, whether or not I view them as part of my target romantic demographic. (I wouldn't want to hang out around a batch of douchebags either.) Maybe only another moralistic person or aesthete would understand.
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Old 04-01-2015, 12:40 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,096,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
That mostly misses the point, which is that it's unpleasant to be around more than a few people who look like that, whether or not I view them as part of my target romantic demographic. (I wouldn't want to hang out around a batch of douchebags either.) Maybe only another moralistic person or aesthete would understand.
Well, I guess I could follow your lead and start posting about how awful men as a gender dress and should start looking the way I want them to. trust me, very few men dress in a way that appeals to me and don't get me started on facial hair. Watching someone Eating with a goatee or mustache is enough for me to feel sick.

I won't though because ...that would be unreasonable for me to impose my ideals on men. I appreciate the ones who do and ignore the ones who don't.
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Old 04-01-2015, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Arizona
100 posts, read 59,766 times
Reputation: 359
Quote:
Originally Posted by StAcKhOuSe View Post
I made myself perfectly clear. if you don't want the attention, then don't dress that way. otherwise, just put up with it. im not the kind to stare but my basic biological sexual urges will cause me to shoot an occasional glance. even normal, "respectable" men such as i are guilty of this. it's not that much on an issue that warrants a need for me to "control" myself.

those Neanderthals at the construction site catcalling and staring at your low cut tanktop are the ones that need to control themselves.
That wasn't what I meant at all, and you know it.



Quote:
Originally Posted by StAcKhOuSe View Post
we get it, you want to throw it out there that you dress that way because it "makes you feel good about yourself". lol, that is just womanese for "I want the attention from the opposite sex and then I will give them dirty looks for looking at me, that way, I have all the power. muwahahahaha". its an ego thing. just admit it and we can all move on.
Oh, I thank the heavens that you were here to enlighten me today. Those stretches of years where I was dressing the way I do and single the entire time focusing on my career because I had other priorities higher then a relationship, I must have been SO LOST not trying to attract a man or woman!

I'm so glad you were here to enlighten me today that I just wanted attention all that time!



Quote:
Originally Posted by StAcKhOuSe View Post
how would you know?

my urges are well within my control, thank you. a certain percentage of guys, however, will always be unable to control themselves. but I aint gonna be made to feel bad because I looked the other way for a split second when a woman in tight apple bottom jeans and a low cut tanktop passed by me.
Again, that wasn't what I meant. Perhaps you should click back and review and get back to me.
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Old 04-01-2015, 02:27 PM
 
2,079 posts, read 2,476,392 times
Reputation: 3947
Quote:
Originally Posted by futts View Post
That wasn't what I meant at all, and you know it.
????

I never said women couldn't dress provocatively. I basically said don't complain about any unwanted attention when you do dress that way. youre essentially trying to find a contradiction that wasn't there.


Quote:
Oh, I thank the heavens that you were here to enlighten me today. Those stretches of years where I was dressing the way I do and single the entire time focusing on my career because I had other priorities higher then a relationship, I must have been SO LOST not trying to attract a man or woman!

I'm so glad you were here to enlighten me today that I just wanted attention all that time!
oh, well. that is not what I meant. sound familiar?

thanks for the sarcasm though. I would suggest being more subtle next time. not about the way you dress, but about your sarcasm. wouldn't want you to misunderstand another post right?


Quote:
Again, that wasn't what I meant. Perhaps you should click back and review and get back to me.
nah, im good. its not up to me to try to tell you what you meant when you don't even know what you meant yourself. im not your shrink.
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