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Old 04-08-2015, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,112,104 times
Reputation: 18142

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post
Really, though, if it wasn't for the "mean girls," I would probably see femininity as boring and "girly." The idea that knowing how to flow with the situation can give you power and influence over other people is what keeps me wanting to learn more. I remember high school, where I encountered people who seemingly had an endless amount of power over me just because they understood the situation and knew how to communicate a lot better than I did. I also saw this ability reflected in a lot of the strong women on TV. I think it's less about "mean girls," and more about admiring the "big sister" figures in my life and wanting the emulate the traits they embodied so that I can feel more confident teaching and training younger women. I want to be the boss for a change.
So, you hope to gain power and influence with fashion? I really think the issue here is not fashion and I do think this is more of an internal issue than an external issue. You won't get strength through fashion. Have you considered counseling? I am thinking you are just flat out not happy with who you are. Self acceptance would do you a world of good.
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Old 04-08-2015, 08:33 AM
 
4,279 posts, read 3,301,029 times
Reputation: 2874
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
So, you hope to gain power and influence with fashion? I really think the issue here is not fashion and I do think this is more of an internal issue than an external issue. You won't get strength through fashion. Have you considered counseling? I am thinking you are just flat out not happy with who you are. Self acceptance would do you a world of good.
No, I'm trying to express (change? enhance?) my personality. I thought making people think I had good fashion sense and etiquette would at least help me with some of my non-verbal communication. I wouldn't be so concerned with clothes, but there's a dramatic disconnect between the way I dress and the way I perceive that those who want to be taken seriously dress. I can't seem to figure out the formula. It probably has something to do with where I'm shopping. Since I have a very limited budget, I usually just stick to thrift stores and bargain outlets.

Plus, my appearance has a lot more to do with my skin than an outfit. I have excessive hair growth, and it's most noticeable on my face. Even after I remove the hair, it looks like I have a five o' clock shadow. I should probably just suck it up and get electrolysis for 8 or more hours so that most of it will die, but I hate pain. Also, it might be a hormonal issue I need to get straightened out. It's fixable, but I don't really make enough money to even worry about cosmetic procedures.
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Old 04-08-2015, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Oceania
8,623 posts, read 5,907,815 times
Reputation: 8318
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post

Really, though, if it wasn't for the "mean girls," I would probably see femininity as boring and "girly." The idea that knowing how to flow with the situation can give you power and influence over other people is what keeps me wanting to learn more. I also saw this ability reflected in a lot of the strong women on TV. I think it's less about "mean girl remember high school, where I encountered people who seemingly had an endless amount of power over me just because they understood the situation and knew how to communicate a lot better than I dids," and more about admiring the "big sister" figures in my life and wanting the emulate the traits they embodied so that I can feel more confident teaching and training younger women. I want to be the boss for a change.

Have you quit wearing the power goggles yet? What you thought was happening was your interpretation of it and skewed at that. The "mean girl big sisters" you still hold high esteem for were most likely a few years older and ran in faster crowds than you needed to know of. What did they do with their nights and weekends?

Why would femininity be boring and ugly?

You want to hold what you imagined as "power" over others? You want to be the boss? You were likely bullied but don't think of it as such. You now want to bully those younger than you?

What purpose would that serve other than to stroke your idle ego?
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Old 04-09-2015, 06:37 PM
 
4,279 posts, read 3,301,029 times
Reputation: 2874
Maybe I should have said, "I want to pass for a full-fledged French lady." Meow! Maybe that would explain the image I'm after...
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Old 04-10-2015, 05:29 AM
 
4,279 posts, read 3,301,029 times
Reputation: 2874
I kind of want to watch cute cat videos.
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Old 04-10-2015, 05:47 AM
 
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 5,898,098 times
Reputation: 6686
Pinterest is wonderful for ideas. A good haircut can do wonders- don't go cheap in that department. I find so many name brand clothes at thrift stores so you don't have to spend a ton of money to dress sharp. You do need time to look for it. I like colors close to my skin color in makeup. What's the most important is a good skin care routine, sleep, eating well and drinking lots of water for great skin.
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Old 04-11-2015, 08:36 AM
 
4,279 posts, read 3,301,029 times
Reputation: 2874
I agree that Pinterest has a lot of good ideas.

I'm into the really crispy refined look, as if I recently got out of the Navy or something. I guess that's because I'm normally messy and sloppy with my appearance. To me, a dress that wrinkles when I sit down is not a good look, even if it's made to do that. I like things to be crisp and neat. I think that lends itself well to a professional look, but it's really just the type of look I prefer. I don't like wrinkles that much, and dresses that wrinkle easily kind of get on my nerves.

I also have trouble combining pieces. Like, I will take a dress made for the evening, throw a cardigan over it, and call it a day outfit, even though the cardigan adds bulk, takes away from the original shape the dress was giving me, and makes me look like a blob.

I think I need to learn how to use an iron and starch and stay away from dry-clean only clothing, because I will probably inevitably ruin clothes like that in this humidity by giving them limited care, if any at all.
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Old 04-11-2015, 09:05 AM
 
3,879 posts, read 4,585,979 times
Reputation: 10029
Sounds like you would like ponte knit fabrics
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Old 04-11-2015, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,897 posts, read 28,224,126 times
Reputation: 26049
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezycom View Post
Sounds like you would like ponte knit fabrics
Easiest fabric ever. They aren't great when it is hot, but excellent for fall and winter. Also, knit dresses work well.
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Old 04-11-2015, 12:56 PM
 
4,279 posts, read 3,301,029 times
Reputation: 2874
I don't know. I don't feel like I know enough about fashion to have much confidence with it. I'm probably going to look for another personal stylist or try to get on one of those makeover shows for desperate people who don't know how style works... I just didn't learn all of this when I was younger.
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