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Old 05-10-2015, 06:18 AM
 
687 posts, read 653,249 times
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As a guy I have a very nice face, but since I'm under 5'10" I'm generally not considered "attractive". Maybe it's because I'm divorced at a young age and that makes anyone who isn't a desperate single mom lose interest. Or maybe it's because I don't have any neanderthal features and actually look presentable.

I'm not sure what I need to do whether it's get a dozen tattoos, go back in time to drop out of high school, or just start injecting steroids, because that seems to be what's in vogue for "attractiveness" these days. It doesn't matter how much I run or work out naturally, doesn't matter how educated I am, neither seem to be attractors because I'm just not "thug" enough.

My second best friend is 5'5" and has a lot of trouble getting dates despite looking good, dressing well, having a bit of money and toned muscles. For him to attract a girl over 5'1" is nearly impossible, and even then they'd rather hold out for taller (and thuggier).

But you're "only" 5'9", good luck getting any women over 5'6". I lose around 40% of my dating pool just because of society's height requirements.
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Old 05-10-2015, 06:28 AM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 9,611,706 times
Reputation: 11672
All through the 12 years of elementary and high school, I thought I was ugly. A few years later, I happened to be looking at some of the photos from that era and realized it wasn't true, that I was not ugly at all and was perhaps even pretty.... a surprising revelation.
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Old 05-10-2015, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
13,505 posts, read 11,034,499 times
Reputation: 23993
Quote:
Originally Posted by mapmd View Post
As a guy I have a very nice face, but since I'm under 5'10" I'm generally not considered "attractive". Maybe it's because I'm divorced at a young age and that makes anyone who isn't a desperate single mom lose interest. Or maybe it's because I don't have any neanderthal features and actually look presentable.

I'm not sure what I need to do whether it's get a dozen tattoos, go back in time to drop out of high school, or just start injecting steroids, because that seems to be what's in vogue for "attractiveness" these days. It doesn't matter how much I run or work out naturally, doesn't matter how educated I am, neither seem to be attractors because I'm just not "thug" enough.

My second best friend is 5'5" and has a lot of trouble getting dates despite looking good, dressing well, having a bit of money and toned muscles. For him to attract a girl over 5'1" is nearly impossible, and even then they'd rather hold out for taller (and thuggier).

But you're "only" 5'9", good luck getting any women over 5'6". I lose around 40% of my dating pool just because of society's height requirements.
Just excuses (especially the height) because woman arent throwing themselves at men who believes this nonsense. Sorry brah, but you dont have much confidence in yourself
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Old 05-10-2015, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,230 posts, read 11,764,006 times
Reputation: 15258
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qvx View Post
I have a distorted view of my physical appearance. I've been told I am ugly by my family members, some friends and strangers. However, I never had any problems getting attention from guys since I can remember. These guys are usually physically attractive, but then some of these guys will tell me later how ugly I am as well. I do get looks from people, mostly from men. I do not dress or act promiscuous. I don't make friends easily even though I am a nice person, and people are not nice to me right away like I have heard that beautiful people often experience. It takes time for people to realize that I'm actually a nice person and it's usually a word they describe about me after getting to know me.

So I do not know if when people look at me, they are looking at me because I look odd, ugly or if they find me attractive. I grew up believing I was ugly and pretty at the same time. If I think I look good, then somebody will usually prove me wrong. When I look in the mirror, I do think I look good, but the camera tells me a different story and so do some people tell me otherwise. I feel like I have two faces literally. My face is very asymmetrical. One side looks like beauty while the other side is the beast, which can look like a monster sometimes.
I think most people judge their attractiveness based on the standards of whatever culture they belong to. If you personally like what you see when you look in the mirror, that's all that matters!
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Old 05-10-2015, 08:29 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 8,196,741 times
Reputation: 6487
It's pretty obvious if other people think you're attractive, if you aren't then it should also be pretty obvious. Attractiveness is subjective. On one hand you have physical appearance, on the other you have personality and character.
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Old 05-10-2015, 11:51 AM
 
2,601 posts, read 2,985,638 times
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It's different for everyone. Some people think I'm attractive, and I'd imagine some people think I'm not.
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Old 05-10-2015, 02:45 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
2,298 posts, read 1,670,134 times
Reputation: 2227
I think you shouldnt care! Dont worry about it. I also have a hard time making friends, I think im more private to so it keeps people away some. You really shouldnt care so much, who knows what people think, its not important. Focus on you, career and imroving in ways you think you should improve. The rest just happens.

its pretty sad your family or friends say your ugly (joking or not) I dont think I would keep the friends and wouldnt speak much to the family. You dont need negative people like that in your life!
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Old 05-10-2015, 03:30 PM
 
Location: LA, CA/ In This Time and Place
5,425 posts, read 3,280,484 times
Reputation: 5033
Stop hanging around people who put you down, stand up for yourself! Why do family tell you are ugly?!
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Old 05-10-2015, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,549 posts, read 3,504,098 times
Reputation: 6858
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike2523 View Post
Everyone has there own idea of what is attractive. So it is hard to say what your issue is. Some people look like a million bucks but put them in front of a camera and they never take a good picture. Some people that do not have a perfect look can take a good picture. I am not sure why that is but it happens.
This is the case.

Looks are subjective. Some, while not the hottest have something about them that makes them attractive. Possibly confidence and charisma. That can make some people very charming. A woman I know, while not ugly, isn't conventionally hot either. But she's outgoing and lively. She likes to have fun, and dresses very nicely. She's had no trouble getting friends and boyfriends.

So really everyone will tell you something different. Some may tell you that you're ugly. But they could be lying because they're jealous and want you to feel badly.
Some will say you're ugly and mean it.
Some will probably think you're hot, and tell you some.
Some will compliment you and may just being acting nicely.

So you can't really go on other people. When you look at yourself, do you think you're ugly? Is the main thing.

Me personally, I think I am average looking. Not hot, but not repulsive either where you look and think "ewww." least I don't think it'd happen regularly. lol Some may, in fact, think "yuck."

I have received compliments. By family, friends, and other women, where I am told I am

1. Beautiful
2. Lovely
3. Gorgeous
etc.

I had pix of myself online. Some guys there have given compliments on my look, and tell me my body is very sexy/curvaceous. But again...that's online. Alot of guys online love any woman lol

Yet despite the compliments I get, I never get them from guys I am attracted to. usually when I like a guy, he doesn't even notice me. So I don't take any compliments I receive or have received to heart. So I don't think I am any of the things I have been called. I still look at myself and think "decent-looking." Except in pictures where I think I am totally ugly lol I have actually sworn off taking pix. I have only ever taken 1 decent pic in my whole life, and it was an odd case.....
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Old 05-10-2015, 05:22 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,366,795 times
Reputation: 11918
Attractiveness actually comes from CONFIDENCE.

That's it.

You can be the homliest girl in the room but if you comport yourself like a beautiful woman, most people will think you are.

This works for homely men, too.
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