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Old 05-11-2015, 12:48 PM
 
Location: State of Washington (2016)
3,290 posts, read 2,181,314 times
Reputation: 12389

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Why would your family tell you that you are ugly when you look like one of them? They are putting themselves down too. It could be that some of your family members and so-called friends are jealous and know that you are insecure about your looks so they use your own feelings as a weapon against you. Unless you're horribly deformed or have some unattractive standout facial feature, I'll bet you are being very harsh with yourself. Everybody has their good days and bad and most people aren't head-turningly beautiful. If you dress nicely, your hair looks good, and you smile and carry yourself with confidence, how can you not look attractive? And please find yourself some real friends who will build you up and appreciate you.
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:56 PM
 
5,016 posts, read 4,830,712 times
Reputation: 11667
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
I never understood this. Why would a guy want to sleep with a woman if he doesn't find her attractive?
LOL, awesome question! You're obviously not a guy. Even so, your question still surprises and amuses me.
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Old 05-11-2015, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Chicago
824 posts, read 1,286,450 times
Reputation: 1692
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
LOL, awesome question! You're obviously not a guy. Even so, your question still surprises and amuses me.
Care to explain why?
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Old 05-11-2015, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,361,269 times
Reputation: 48613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
He always says this, OP. Any excuse for a pic.

Seriously.

Be smart and don't post your photos on publicly accessible websites.

OP, look up body dysmorphic disorder. It's a psych disorder that, much like anorexia nervosa, is traced to disordered perception and fixation regarding one's appearance, characterized by undue worry/obsession regarding whether or not one is "ugly," as well as an inability to assess one's own appearance without distortion. It goes way beyond "low self esteem," and is a condition where, as with anorexia, what you see when you look in the mirror is not reflective of reality.
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:07 PM
 
37 posts, read 32,839 times
Reputation: 163
I asked that question myself several times. I was told I was handsome quite a few times along my life and back in high school and university I had a few girls chasing me (admittedly, average looking girls). BUT, I also was treated by lots of girls and women like if I had a dog-face. I had very painful rejections, and it wasn't my personality because I never had the chance to get that far.
I read somewhere that some women enjoy hurting ego's guys just for the sake of it, for some time I thought that was my case. But know I think that, perhaps, I was hitting way beyond my league. In any case, now in my 40's, my only requirement looks-wise in a woman, is that she must not be overweight.

Last edited by stackoverflow; 05-11-2015 at 03:26 PM..
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:42 PM
 
3,313 posts, read 3,312,817 times
Reputation: 5560
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
LOL, awesome question! You're obviously not a guy. Even so, your question still surprises and amuses me.
I want to know the answer to the awesome question too. Because I thought I was ugly for much of my life, based on what the boys said, and then when I turned 40, I started thinking I was pretty because I had no problem finding guys to sleep with, but then later I found out that there is "pretty" and then there's "not so ugly that you have to put a bag over my head."

So yeah, now I'm not sure where I fall.
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:47 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,366,795 times
Reputation: 11918
The only people who have ever called me ugly were my family.

Sadly I carry that around for life.

Most people call me beautiful nowdays but I was an extremely plain child and that never leaves you.
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:50 PM
 
23,906 posts, read 31,137,585 times
Reputation: 28539
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
I never understood this. Why would a guy want to sleep with a woman if he doesn't find her attractive?
LOL. Some guys will say ANYTHING to get laid, and many of them have few standards about what the gal looks like. Surely you know thus, if you are over the age of 16. That said, finding a girl "attractive" is not necessarily finding them "beautiful".
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,882 posts, read 10,526,479 times
Reputation: 6312
Well, the sample space for who thinks you are ugly or not is too large. My mom always said I look good in anything with a bit of grooming . CD thinks I look ugly. I think I look just fine and wear what's comfortable given an occasion.

It's very demeaning for a parent to put you down for looks. Have a serious talk with them, and say it hurts. Tell them how you feel, and how it's out of your control. I'm sure real parents will care.
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Old 05-11-2015, 03:55 PM
 
3,313 posts, read 3,312,817 times
Reputation: 5560
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
LOL. Some guys will say ANYTHING to get laid, and many of them have few standards about what the gal looks like. Surely you know thus, if you are over the age of 16. That said, finding a girl "attractive" is not necessarily finding them "beautiful".
Honestly, I'm way over 16, and it's just hard to understand that guys don't have standards.
I know *I* have standards, and I don't care how ugly or fat I am, I still deserve to have standards.
If I was not attracted, I did not want to sleep with them, period. To have slept with them would have been gross and just, yuck!
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