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It depends on the circumstance. If they are dressed in a way that is clearly meant to draw attention to the features in question, then I'll blatantly stare and not care.
This doesn't make any sense though. He mentioned gay guys ogling at a straight guy. A straight guy would of course be uncomfortable as he would never be attracted to gay guy. A woman, however, might be attracted to some of the guys who are doing the looking. The better question is, would a straight guy feel uncomfortable being looked at by a potentially attractive woman? Probably not as much.
The question is being asked because it seems most woman don't understand the difficulty of playing this looking game. Nor do they understand the extent to which a guy uses his eyes to assess potential. And if they do understand, they still certainly make you feel bad for it. I am also questioning the assumption that those who have difficulty controlling their eyes as being creepers, when they essentially are doing what nature has ingrained in them to do - look at things they find visually appealing. And I should have replaced the "stare" in the first sentence of my post. Yes, staring is bad, we all get that. But do glances fall into the same category of creepiness for most woman? When is the line crossed? Is it situational? I understand most woman would probably be reluctant to give an answer in favor of guys gawking at them, and it might be too complex to answer concretely, but I still feel compelled to ask.
The point is being looked at as a piece of meat, not like a person. I used gays because I know that makes a lot of straight guys uncomfortable and it's that particular feeling of discomfort what you don't seem to get. If you don't care that you might make make someone uncomfortable with your looking then by all means go ahead and do it, but don't be surprised if the object of your attraction writes you off as a jerk
It depends on the circumstance. If they are dressed in a way that is clearly meant to draw attention to the features in question, then I'll blatantly stare and not care.
Agree.
For all the other attractive people, one can always look--to stare at them is not acceptable.
Furtive stolen glances and occasional eye contact with a pleasant friendly smile, like in a romance comedy movie, as if there's some inside joke you immediately infer she's aware of that entices her nearer in wonder, your eyes lock Wait ... (this sounds like one of those new "It's Just Lunch" radio spots)
Seriously though...
Lesson one immaturity: in my mid 20s, I'm driving a co worker I'm romantically interested in on second shift break during summer to nearby lakefront park. While stopped at street light downtown, my eyes apparently spent too much time lingering on a female crossing the walk in front of car. Do not look, no matter how innocuously, at another female in the presence of one you are interested in.
And, as another poster mentioned, most women know when you are looking at them.
Lesson Two: An environment like a gym is not conducive - especially while the object of your desire is working out - it's mostly a vulnerability issue. Majority of women generally work out to look better in their regular clothes; not to be seen as USDA Grade A meat for consumption. See this post for advice: Asking out while at the gym
There may still be circumstances where these don't hold true. For instance, the young man staring at women over 35, who may now be very appreciative, since the opposite sex 'desire' interest overall has waned; but if you leer like you want to do all manner of nasty things, most any psychologically healthy woman will notice and avoid you.
Most women like non threatening looks, unless of course, she's highly contentious for one reason or another: wrong day of month, has restraining orders on other men etc.... I'd say about 80 percent of women I do not know whom I have 'appreciated' - who when catching me gaze at them - have responded with a smile in kind. Probably only 2-4% of the time have I used the encounter to initiate conversation with thought of asking them out. One in five are oblivious and/or put me on ignore.
Note, as obvious chronological age difference increase between the male "viewer" and female "viewed", the likelier the response is to be negative by the one being 'viewed'.
Furtive stolen glances and occasional eye contact with a pleasant friendly smile, like in a romance comedy movie, as if there's some inside joke you immediately infer she's aware of that entices her nearer in wonder, your eyes lock Wait ... (this sounds like one of those new "It's Just Lunch" radio spots)
Seriously though...
Lesson one immaturity: in my mid 20s, I'm driving a co worker I'm romantically interested in on second shift break during summer to nearby lakefront park. While stopped at street light downtown, my eyes apparently spent too much time lingering on a female crossing the walk in front of car. Do not look, no matter how innocuously, at another female in the presence of one you are interested in.
And, as another poster mentioned, most women know when you are looking at them.
Lesson Two: An environment like a gym is not conducive - especially while the object of your desire is working out - it's mostly a vulnerability issue. Majority of women generally work out to look better in their regular clothes; not to be seen as USDA Grade A meat for consumption. See this post for advice: Asking out while at the gym
There may still be circumstances where these don't hold true. For instance, the young man staring at women over 35, who may now be very appreciative, since the opposite sex 'desire' interest overall has waned; but if you leer like you want to do all manner of nasty things, most any psychologically healthy woman will notice and avoid you.
Most women like non threatening looks, unless of course, she's highly contentious for one reason or another: wrong day of month, has restraining orders on other men etc.... I'd say about 80 percent of women I do not know whom I have 'appreciated' - who when catching me gaze at them - have responded with a smile in kind. Probably only 2-4% of the time have I used the encounter to initiate conversation with thought of asking them out. One in five are oblivious and/or put me on ignore.
Note, as obvious chronological age difference increase between the male "viewer" and female "viewed", the likelier the response is to be negative by the one being 'viewed'.
Thank you for another entertaining and well thought out/written post!
As a 60 something female who works out, dances and keeps herself looking as attractive as possible at this point I have noticed I get a lot of "geezer love" lol! Yes, men who are "up there" in age just don't care anymore and feel they have nothing to lose. Like at the gym the other day, a guy who was at LEAST in mid to late 80s kept flirting with me, then I went to work out/do Zumba and he saw me again and said he had been watching me do all my exercises. Then he informed me I was "very beautiful." So I indulged him and said "flattery will get you everywhere - teach that to the young men." LOL This is just one example it happens all the time.
Anyway, there was a great Seinfeld episode where Jerry admonishes George for staring too long at a young woman's cleavage (and getting into trouble because of it). Jerry says "it's like the sun - you're not supposed to stare at it, take a glance, get a sense of it and look away!" LOL
As long as you don't come across as a creeper, don't worry about. Crotch-grabbing and lewd facial expressions are generally frowned upon. Appreciative glances are not.
gypsychic,
We need your line of thinking in the Seattle forums pronto
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No one will ogle you then!
Wait ... (this sounds like one of those new "It's Just Lunch" radio spots)
