If you tell someone your age and they don't seem surprised does that mean you look old? (cut, medium)
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Music Girl;42248181The worst is when someone ask me to guess their age - ugh ! Nothing says crisis more than this. I respond with, I really don't like to play the age guessing game because I can't tell age and I usually guess older. (than they are)
Oh gaaaaaaaah! I've only had this asked of me a few times and...yikes! I mean what the hell are you supposed to say...
The very first time I remember it, it was like a trap or something because I didn't realize I was supposed to "guess young." Could be at least partially because I was only then exiting an age group where looking older was actually better...? I thought the person was just genuinely asking me a question. I was only 20 and had been asked out by one of my mother's clients. I knew he must be a bit older than I was; I mean besides just kind of "acting old" (a bit on the uptight side - but he was kind, which is why I said yes to the date), he had a back-to-front comb over, for goodness sake. Like I said, he was a kind person and I thought: Why not? So we went out.
He almost immediately asked me, "So. How old do you think I am?" and innocently I answered, "Thirty-something?"
His face fell as if I'd just told him he was ugly, smelled bad and his mama was fat. I felt TERRIBLE but I mean...I didn't realize I was supposed to lie... I honestly didn't. For the record, he was 32. Never made that mistake again but luckily, as I said, it's been rare. The few times since then that someone asked, I exaggerated waaaaaaaaay younger than the person looked and each time she was obviously quite happy about it so...mission accomplished, I guess? Sigh.
^^^^^It's good you were honest. Everyone sees something different. This guy was 32 and you guessed his age a bit older. He shouldn't have asked you if he didn't want your opinion. He just "thinks" he looks younger (even though 32 is quite young) and was looking for compliments. Yuck ! So draining when people play these games.
People that like to go around and play this age guessing game really just set themselves up ?! Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer.
People used to say I looked young a few years ago now when I tell people I'm 41 nobody says "I'd never think that" like they do to my friends. They don't seem surprised at all. Does that mean I look my age?
That's precisely what it means. And really, what else could it mean?
This reminds me of a time 20 years ago when my wife, who is 3 years younger then me, and I bought our house.
One of the neighbors stopped by as he was walking his dog, introduced himself, and said that he was going to stop the other day when he was driving by and saw me and my daughter out front but was in a hurry.
I don't have a daughter !
If some one thinks you look your age, it doesn't necessarily means they're looking at wrinkles.
It may mean that you carry yourself with the wisdom, dignity and gravitas that takes decades of life experience.
I'm nearing sixty, healthy, petite and athletic. I keep my hair natural grey for a reason -- I prefer owning the dignity of my age, rather than being part of the wannabe youth cult.
Make your peace with whatever age you are! Claim it and wear it gracefully.
This is another good point and I hesitated to bring it up...
If you bring up your age...it's almost like people are compelled to say "Oh gosh, you look so young" because they get deep down that that's what you're looking for. Otherwise would you be bringing it up? It's almost like people "accidentally" letting slip that they have a Ferrari or that their child got into a prestigious school or something...You can just always tell they're looking for validation and a compliment, or what's seen in our culture as a compliment.
NOT saying this is definitely what you're doing, OP. I don't know you. BUT you are noticing that you wish people still did it so you have to wonder whether you've been counting on such comments to make you feel good...right? Again, not judging. We all want to feel good. Nothing crazy or condemnation-worthy about that fact in and of itself.
People have given me "ZOMG, you look so YOUNG" comments all my adult life. I have never trusted these comments. I think deep down I was encouraging them and I think that's why the mistrust. I mean I started to notice that I was TELLING people my age...in sometimes weird circumstances. For instance, I would always manage to let slip at parent-teacher conferences, "Oh, C isn't my oldest. I have a son who's 20/25/27/whatever current age" or something like that and get the "ZOMG...etc." comments and it felt good.
When I realized I was doing that, I just...stopped. Because: 1. I can never know they're genuine. Maybe I'm making people feel uncomfortable and like they have to come up with some sort of what's perceived as a compliment. 2. I need something like that to make my day? Then I'm hurting for a hobby, LOL. 3. If I DO look young, what do I win? A raise? A free trip to Hawaii? In the end I'm neither happy nor sad to be the age I am and to look the way I do. What I'm happy or sad about is composed of lots of other things.
There's another thing I've noticed...EVERYBODY thinks they look younger than they are, LOL. I have seen lots of age-related threads on here (to give an example...this is not just an internet thing) where person after person after person after person says, "Well, I don't look my age, people tell me I look X instead" and here's a fact: we can't ALL look younger than we are! Think about it...by the numbers, 50% of the population can't possibly look "ridiculously young," right? If that were true then our perception of looking different ages would change and we'd all start looking age-appropriate...if that makes sense.
Sorry for the encyclopedia entry length answer here, LOL! And happy Friday. Just try to make it a good one and don't worry about your age, as for your looks, try to look nice, be neat, show your own style if you wish and just don't think about it after that point. IMO.
I agree with this. Too many people are obsessed with others telling them how young they look. I met one of my friends at a Meetup even two years ago and she loves it when people tell her she looks younger. She's 42 and I would honestly say she looks about 34 or 35. But many people tell her she looks like she's in her 20s and it feeds her ego.
At the Meetup event (it was an all women's get-together), she even asked several of us girls to stand
in a circle and guess each other's ages.. I really didn't think anything of it at the time. Most of them guessed her age to be like 28. Now I realize that she wanted to play that game just to hear people tell her how young she looks
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I honestly didn't. For the record, he was 32. Never made that mistake again but luckily, as I said, it's been rare. The few times since then that someone asked, I exaggerated waaaaaaaaay younger than the person looked and each time she was obviously quite happy about it so...mission accomplished, I guess? Sigh.
