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Old 03-15-2016, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
17,116 posts, read 56,757,089 times
Reputation: 18389

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
Growing up, I was called ugly and unattractive by some people and I never really got any attention from the opposite sex. I was wondering if there is any way that a guy could become more attractive in the face. If I were to rate myself on a scale of 1-10, I think I'd be maybe a 4 or 4.5. I wanted to hopefully change that to maybe a 6 or 6.5. I don't want to do anything radical or expensive like plastic surgery. I also dress pretty well and I take care of myself when it comes to hygiene, so I have no problems with that. I once posted on a Reddit section that judges looks and people said I looked average. I'm 18 but I think I look my age, I don't really have any facial hair, and I don't know if it matters much but I'm black. One feature that I got compliments before on are my eyes but that's pretty much it.
Short of plastic surgery, probably the best you can do is make sure your skin is in the best possible condition. A good scrub, maybe consult with a dermatologist. Keep in mind that your skin is not immune to sun damage, black skin is harder to damage but it can and will happen if you don't use a sun screen, stay out of direct sun to the extent practical. It is way easier to avoid damage to your young skin than it will be down the road to try to make up for it, try to "fix" it.

Your post is pretty vague about what features on your face are not pleasing to you. For example if your ears stick out, the surgery to "fix" that is, as this sort of thing goes, cheap and easy, not risky.

Being only 18, I have to agree with posters who say your features are not fully formed yet. Give it a couple of more years at least. You may start to grow a more full beard, and if you do, you can do A LOT with a beard. Of course not all women like beards, but it's not possible to appeal to everybody at the same time anyway.

If you need to lose some weight, if you get into better muscular shape, this tends to make the face more lean as well, and as a general thing is considered to make most men more attractive facially. Getting into more athletic shape won't hurt your dating prospects, and is good for your health anyway.
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Old 03-15-2016, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
17,116 posts, read 56,757,089 times
Reputation: 18389
And while your OP was specifically about your face, your face is just part of the total appearance "package" you are putting out there. Once you get into shape, some good clothes that show off your best features can definitely help your "batting average".

Definitely emphasize good hygiene, on your skin, on your teeth, and all over. Even if the ladies don't respond much (I doubt that will be the case, but, whatever) you will keep your bod in good shape to carry you down the road for decades to come. Same with working out and muscling up/ getting rid of fat. No easier time to do this, and the health benefits will go on again for decades.

Final thought - I was a bit like you when I was young, a serious, brooding type. More of an intellectual than a party animal. Target audience: ladies a bit older than you are, perhaps? I went there, perhaps I'm the 1.0 version of the "Cougar Cub". They seemed to appreciate what I brought to the table more than same age or younger, and were perhaps more realistic in not looking for "Prince Charming" to come in and sweep them off their feet.

Good luck in any case!
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Old 03-15-2016, 07:45 PM
 
710 posts, read 580,438 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
Keep up the good grooming, work on your education, and spend your money wisely. All those things will give you more confidence to be able to look people in the eye, smile, put out your hand and introduce yourself with the idea that they WANT to meet you.

You seem like an honest person who is able to ask for help when necessary, which are important characteristics to have. Pursue things you are good at (it doesn't have to be dancing provocatively ), have confidence, and people will be attracted to you for that, much more than a pretty face. Good luck!
Thanks!! I'm not perfect but I think I'm a decent person. The answers I've been receiving in this thread have made me happier and more hopeful.
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Old 03-16-2016, 02:46 PM
 
710 posts, read 580,438 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by M3 Mitch View Post
Final thought - I was a bit like you when I was young, a serious, brooding type. More of an intellectual than a party animal. Target audience: ladies a bit older than you are, perhaps? I went there, perhaps I'm the 1.0 version of the "Cougar Cub". They seemed to appreciate what I brought to the table more than same age or younger, and were perhaps more realistic in not looking for "Prince Charming" to come in and sweep them off their feet.

Good luck in any case!
Thanks for the advice. I'm not really into older women that much, I'd much rather be with a girl my age. It'd feel weird to me, like dating my mom almost.
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Old 03-16-2016, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,709,568 times
Reputation: 28561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
Thanks for the advice. I'm not really into older women that much, I'd much rather be with a girl my age. It'd feel weird to me, like dating my mom almost.
Older at your age is probably 20!

For "cougars" like me you look way too young. You can't even go to the bar yet!
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Old 03-16-2016, 03:58 PM
 
710 posts, read 580,438 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Older at your age is probably 20!

For "cougars" like me you look way too young. You can't even go to the bar yet!
Hahaha, that's what I meant. I still have kiddish features and I couldn't imagine an older women being attracted to that. Also, it would be weird dating someone who likely has decades more life experience than I do. Dating a 20 year old would be something I'm open to though if the opportunity presented itself.
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Old 03-16-2016, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 2,284,316 times
Reputation: 3289
Smile with sincere appreciation for every person you see.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCuLGRPi...eashedofficial
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Old 03-18-2016, 12:28 AM
 
710 posts, read 580,438 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
As for OP, what do you feel makes you unattractive? You have gorgeous skin, teeth, and a great smile. What you need is self confidence. Unfortunately, that is a trait you develop as you age. Age is such a tough thing. When you're young, you have a lot of energy, your whole life is ahead of you, but you often lack in confidence, and when you age, you lose the energy, your health may somewhat decline, the looks may go, but you're more comfortable in your own skin and have learned the life's lessons you didn't know when you were young and stupid But we cannot make you feel better about yourself; only you can do that. Consider what you have to offer others. What are your talents and innate abilities? Maybe volunteering would offer you an outlet to demonstrate these gifts to other people and make you feel better about yourself.
Thanks a whole lot for the compliments, I didn't even notice this post. I just don't really feel all that good looking. Without going into too much detail, I was made fun of a lot for how I looked when I was younger. Very constantly. It took a toll on how I saw myself and I just assumed that I was ugly. No one really ever complimented my looks outside of my family and I didn't get any attention from girls like some other guys did. I guess when you get told something over and over again, you just start to think it and believe it. I figured that since a lot of people said it, it must be true. Even now sometimes I get nervous in public because I think that people are judging my looks and I wear hats a lot out so my face isn't fully visible. Luckily though, I am working on building my self-confidence though so I don't have to feel this way forever.
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Old 03-18-2016, 10:31 AM
 
5,401 posts, read 6,471,688 times
Reputation: 12016
I second doing things to boost your confidence. Check out volunteering for Habit for Humanity. You could help build someone a house and it will make you feel good about yourself to be able to help someone out.

Plus you will make some like minded friends & learn some new skills. It also helps a resume and scholarship app to have community volunteerism as part of your life...not to mention helping make you a more well rounded person.

Trust that you will get more comfortable in your skin as you build some accomplishments. Life definitely gets better after high school. A lot of being attractive comes from projecting quiet confidence without arrogance or cockiness. Good luck.
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Old 03-21-2016, 01:14 PM
 
710 posts, read 580,438 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan View Post
I second doing things to boost your confidence. Check out volunteering for Habit for Humanity. You could help build someone a house and it will make you feel good about yourself to be able to help someone out.

Plus you will make some like minded friends & learn some new skills. It also helps a resume and scholarship app to have community volunteerism as part of your life...not to mention helping make you a more well rounded person.

Trust that you will get more comfortable in your skin as you build some accomplishments. Life definitely gets better after high school. A lot of being attractive comes from projecting quiet confidence without arrogance or cockiness. Good luck.
Thanks and I will look into volunteering. Hopefully it'll help with my confidence issues. I still want to feel like I look attractive though and I'll do whatever it takes to get there.
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