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Old 08-09-2016, 02:02 AM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,214,022 times
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Well make sure whatever you do don't send her the link to this thread then if you don't want to embarrass her.
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Old 08-09-2016, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Broward County, FL
16,206 posts, read 7,662,574 times
Reputation: 3530
Reading the replies on this thread reminded me why I never venture to this forum to begin with. A lot of you are so superficial that I feel sorry for you. Just let people wear whatever makes them happy. In what way does it possibly affect you if someone is not dressed to your standards?


This hits home for me because whenever I go to the grocery store after work or on a day off, I wear a t-shirt and basketball shorts every time. Down here in FL, it's really not practical to care about how you look or other people perceive you, it's too damn hot. I'm sure a lot of you would look at me and think I'm bummy, not knowing I just got done working for 12 hours and I'm just trying to be comfy.

And seriously you're at a grocery store. How do you want people to dress? In a damn tuxedo? Lol.
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Old 08-09-2016, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,754 posts, read 3,369,761 times
Reputation: 4619
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Old 08-09-2016, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Louisville KY
3,966 posts, read 3,555,200 times
Reputation: 3107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
Yes, to some an extra $2.99 might as well be $100. Plus, perhaps there is no thrift store in walking or bus distance. Perhaps she has no money for the bus. In the thrift store around here, you can barely get a t-shirt for $2.99. Jeans are closer to $8-$10.

Unless she does have some mental illness, I doubt she wants to wear clothes with holes that she has to keep pulling at to keep herself covered. That goes beyond the comfort-only culture of dressing in PJs etc.

It always amazes me a bit to come across people who do not understand poverty and how for quite a lot of people, there just isn't an extra $5.00 in the budget.
Sometimes I think 99% of CD users make around $26hr+, have a salary of 200k, or if retired gets a $4000 check, or works 4 jobs. That's what it feels like, when I read certain threads. "I'll spend no less than $80 on a t-shirt," or "I just bought my third project car," or "I just bought a second house to live in, while I renovate mine." Here I am, often struggling to keep my scooter running/repaired.
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Old 08-09-2016, 09:20 PM
 
Location: The World
3,012 posts, read 1,818,349 times
Reputation: 7774
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~skywalker~ View Post
Wow, didn't imagine to get so many replies.

Just wanted to clarify: I don't judge. About a year ago I had a very minimal wardrobe myself. Wore flip-flops in winter, and so on. It was not because I couldn't afford something, I was just experimenting with a minimal lifestyle. Now I have more stuff again, but not much. As said, normally I just wear t-shirt and jeans (all second hand), flip-flops or cheap canvas shoes.

Also, I don't care if people wear pj pants for grocery shopping. Why not? In university I even saw people coming to lectures like that. Wearing slippers. I wouldn't do that but I like it when people don't "conform" to what is considered "normal".

I was just puzzled cause her clothes are not only worn out but totally unpractical (the pants and shoes). If I would be in her situation I would at least get some cord or elastics to keep the pants up and try to repair my shoes somehow (with tape or whatever).

By the way: she didn't make the impression to be under influence (some people assumed drug abuse) and except for the clothes she looked quite neat.

I just couldn't image that someone couldn't afford even a cheap pair of pants and some cheap shoes or flip-flops. But perhaps I'm wrong.

That's really sad, but I don't really know what to do about it. Would like to help her somehow, but I also don't want to embarrass her.
Well, first of all, you do judge. You did judge when you started this thread.

Second of all, your little "minimal wardrobe" experience doesn't hold water, since you chose to do it when you knew you had enough and probably wanted to be a part of the "cool" hipster/pinterest/something crowd. Maybe this woman who you JUDGED didn't get to "choose" when she stopped buying clothes...maybe it wasn't a...."Oh, I do have lots of clothes I don't wear, maybe I'll try this cool experiment of not buying clothes every week."

Maybe it was more of a "I gave all of my clothes to my daughter...they're kinda loose on her, but at least she has clothes because I can't afford to buy any for her."

or a "My house burned down, and this is what I was wearing in bed when it happened. I didn't have insurance"

or a "I lost my job and haven't been able to buy clothes in ages. I used to be able to embrace this whole "pajamas in public" thing that some people are doing by choice, but now my one pair of PJs are getting stretched and worn and hell, I don't have anything else to wear while I'm shopping for groceries for my family. I have $40 to feed my family for a week or buy clothes for myself...which do I choose?"

etc.

Third, I'm having trouble understanding what you're so confused about. Sometimes poor people don't have and can't afford "cord or elastics or tape or whatever."

Some people do not have resources, period.

"I just couldn't image that someone couldn't afford even a cheap pair of pants and some cheap shoes or flip-flops. But perhaps I'm wrong."

Oh my goodness. Perhaps I'm wrong? Honey, you are so wrong that you just don't even know. LOTS of people can't "even afford a cheap pair of pants and some cheap shoes or flip-flops."

Bless your heart, I'm so glad you have never gone through any hardship.

Last edited by lkmax; 08-09-2016 at 10:30 PM..
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Old 08-09-2016, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
5,945 posts, read 6,760,173 times
Reputation: 4278
Sounds like she may have a mental health issue. I wouldn't be too hard on her.
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Old 08-09-2016, 10:02 PM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,214,022 times
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Once in the middle of winter my heat got shut off because I couldn't afford the rent and electric bill. So I decided I'd go sell some plasma at the local blood bank. That would get me some money for food and such.....

Well, after sleeping in a 30some degree home I walked the 5 miles early next morning only to be told when I got there "Sorry you can't sell today; your core temp is too low". So now I was forced to go until the next time I could try which was like 3 or 4 days later with no food at all, no clean clothes, a warm bath consisted of cold water and hours of sunlight through the window to hopefully warm it up.... It was neither pleasant nor a choice and I couldn't just pull funds out of an orifice to get out of the situation.
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Old 08-09-2016, 10:30 PM
 
Location: NYC
1,869 posts, read 834,032 times
Reputation: 594
[quote=Murk;45042233]Yes, to some an extra $2.99 might as well be $100. Plus, perhaps there is no thrift store in walking or bus distance. Perhaps she has no money for the bus. In the thrift store around here, you can barely get a t-shirt for $2.99. Jeans are closer to $8-$10.

Unless she does have some mental illness, I doubt she wants to wear clothes with holes that she has to keep pulling at to keep herself covered. That goes beyond the comfort-only culture of dressing in PJs etc.

It always amazes me a bit to come across people who do not understand poverty and how for quite a lot of people, there just isn't an extra $5.00 in the budget.[/QUOTE


So true, there are people who cannot afford to buy toilet paper!
Would you believe that?
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Old 08-09-2016, 10:37 PM
 
Location: NYC
1,869 posts, read 834,032 times
Reputation: 594
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
2 years ago when my youngest was still in elementaey school one of the other "older" moms complained about this.

She said "I can understand dropping your kids off in pajamas but picking them up like that too? Who raised these people?"

I just kind of laughed because to be honest, I hadn't really noticed.

After I started paying attention I had to admit she was right.

I'm not completely in agreement with the "too poor" theory.

I understand poor; I live at 200% BELOW poverty level.

I'm very insecure about the few, worn & out of style articles of clothing I have but I do have enough self-respect to at least TRY.

Maybe the woman OP is talking about suffers from depression?
Nowadays pajamas do not look like pajamas anymore.
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Old 08-09-2016, 11:55 PM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,214,022 times
Reputation: 6479
[quote=rent.in.nyc;45074448]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
Yes, to some an extra $2.99 might as well be $100. Plus, perhaps there is no thrift store in walking or bus distance. Perhaps she has no money for the bus. In the thrift store around here, you can barely get a t-shirt for $2.99. Jeans are closer to $8-$10.

Unless she does have some mental illness, I doubt she wants to wear clothes with holes that she has to keep pulling at to keep herself covered. That goes beyond the comfort-only culture of dressing in PJs etc.

It always amazes me a bit to come across people who do not understand poverty and how for quite a lot of people, there just isn't an extra $5.00 in the budget.[/QUOTE


So true, there are people who cannot afford to buy toilet paper!
Would you believe that?
I've seen other girls walking up to cars at stop signs asking occupants for tampons.
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