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She didn't tell you because she knows how you feel about it and would try to talk her out of it.
She doesn't have a boyfriend. Maybe she wants a boyfriend...that's more likely. But it's probably just body improvement.
This sort of thing is so common these days. No different than having your teeth whitened or straightened, or hair dyed. I don't understand why a husband would find it so odd and off-putting. Those sorts of changes aren't major things.
I wonder if you resent it because she didn't discuss it with you, or you feel like she might be perking herself up to leave you for someone else.
I don't think this is a big deal at all, and she likely feels the same way. That's because it isn't. A little lipo? Just a few fat cells removed so there's no bulge there where there used to be. A perkier rear end is the butt lift...not a big deal. Same butt. Just a tad higher. Injections are usually not permanent and must be done periodically. If that's the case, the butt is still her but with a little gel inserted...not much different than how bloated she gets after eating pizza.
It's common practice and perfectly acceptable to get a little help staying pretty. Healthy eating and exercise will not solve some body flaws. If a man gets those little love handles on the sides of his waist sucked out (exercise and diet won't remove those, usually), he's still himself. He just had the little fat pockets sucked out because he couldn't exercise them away. Not a big deal, to me. Good for him that he wants to look his best.
If she didn't ask you about it, she probably doesn't care what you think. You can do what you want with that information. It may not have anything to do with getting another man, she could just have a different preference for her body than you and decided her preference trumped yours.
But who needs help at age 29 or 30? If this is about "staying pretty", what's she going to do at 38 or 40?
And yes, (to the other poster), I was wondering how these two items impacted the joint budget. Maybe they each have their own splurge accounts.
Exactly. Children weren't mentioned, but why not wait for that procedure until after the child bearing years, where just carrying the children could far more drastic changes.
look around buddy,,,,, she at least made an effort to improve herself,, sucked and tucked is better than wiggle and jiggle
I'm guessing because she didn't get your blessing,,,you wouldn't like it no matter how she looks
climb down from control freak mountain and appreciate her before you lose her
IMHO nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing like a little jiggle.
IMHO nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing like a little jiggle.
Looks good on some women. On other's it doesn't.
My guess is she wanted you to pay for the surgeries and some other dude will soon be enjoying them. Just saying, going behind your back was the red flag. I hope I'm wrong.
I disagree - she can't change what's done, why make her feel worse about it? As for the OP why did you fall in love with your wife? Was it only her body? She's still the same woman isn't she? What if she had been in an accident and lost an arm or leg? Would you love her less because of it?
That's a silly comparison. A more appropriate comparison is, what if she had cut off her arm on purpose?
And she might still be the same woman, but she might not be the woman he thought she was. She hasn't just changed her body for the worse; she's displayed bad taste and violated her husband's trust by doing this without consulting him.
Last edited by hbdwihdh378y9; 12-09-2016 at 08:21 PM..
I'm a fan of couples counseling, even if it's just a few times a year, a "check-in".
Whatever you do OP you need to find a way to talk about this. All of these thoughts are going on with you about her decision to get liposuction without mentioning anything about it. Sounds like it was no big deal to her.
There are couples that agree after the bills, savings, kids college, etc. they each have their own amount to spend on whatever they want, maybe this is how she thinks ?
It sounds like knowing how to communicate is what is important that's where couple's counseling would be helpful, better to have couples learn the skills now.
I feel you man. My spouse is a little bit- ummm, curvy and she hates how she looks. I think she's gorgeous but does she listen to me? No. Even if I tell her I'm physically attracted to her, she still has a problem with herself. Rarely do women do these things strictly for the benefit of their partners.
I will echo some other posters in saying that in time, her new looks will "settle in" and you will adjust to the new her. Time heals all wounds, as they say. If you truly love her, then this adjustment won't be a problem for you.
If you are mad that she did this behind your back, then tell her. You will have to lie a little though. Say, "You look fabulous, and I'm happy that you're happy, but next time, can we make this decision together?"
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