U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-27-2017, 02:40 PM
 
709 posts, read 334,874 times
Reputation: 849

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
1 is misleading. Potential romantic partners care significantly.
2 is mostly false. There is a ton of research on how physical attractiveness is widely agreed upon.
3 is mostly false and generally irrelevant re meeting new people.

He can get counseling and maybe it will help (he's said some things that are "off"), but I presume that almost nobody here knows what he looks like and can't say whether his appearance is a problem (which doesn't always mean ugly). It's amazing how vigorously people attack those (probably more so men) who complain about how they look.
I actually did do counseling before. My mom forced me into doing it when I was 15. I even got put on meds at one point, none of it really helped me. Some people attack people who complain about it because they don't know what it's like. I think the problems of ugliness can only be completely understood by other fellow ugly people. If you do a google search, you can find many other people like me who have the same feelings that I do. I'm not trying to say that being ugly is the worst thing in the world, but there are very real problems that one can potentially face by being born with bad looks. If I was born good looking or even "normal" looking, I probably wouldn't have went through most of the problems that I had to go through. Since surgery won't likely be in the cards for me for a while, I'm just trying to feel better about myself in the present moment.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-27-2017, 06:18 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,624 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
Uh-huh. The question is where are the impartial people who consider you ugly? Maybe your standards for male attractiveness are too high? For example, you're better looking than DJ Qualls and Jaleel White when they were young, right? An alternative is that maybe you are bad at judging male attractiveness to where it's hard for you to distinguish ugly from average.

Last edited by goodheathen; 03-27-2017 at 06:26 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2017, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Northern NJ
7,405 posts, read 7,360,683 times
Reputation: 10609
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
1 is misleading. Potential romantic partners care significantly.
2 is mostly false. There is a ton of research on how physical attractiveness is widely agreed upon.
3 is mostly false and generally irrelevant re meeting new people.

He can get counseling and maybe it will help (he's said some things that are "off"), but I presume that almost nobody here knows what he looks like and can't say whether his appearance is a problem (which doesn't always mean ugly). It's amazing how vigorously people attack those (probably more so men) who complain about how they look.
The mall is filled with ugly fat people holding hands, many of which contain rings. In fact, so is Central Park. In fact, so is the world. Not us of course, but other people...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2017, 08:08 PM
 
709 posts, read 334,874 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
Uh-huh. The question is where are the impartial people who consider you ugly? Maybe your standards for male attractiveness are too high? For example, you're better looking than DJ Qualls and Jaleel White when they were young, right? An alternative is that maybe you are bad at judging male attractiveness to where it's hard for you to distinguish ugly from average.
I don't really know the answer to the first question. I've been called handsome by family members like my mom and grandma but they don't count in my opinion because they'd be biased and probably wouldn't say anything bad about my appearance. I can't really say for sure if I'm better looking than those guys because it's pretty subjective but in my opinion I am. I'm definitely not the ugliest guy in the world by a long shot but I don't think I'm handsome either. If I were to give myself an objective rating it'd be below average.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2017, 08:37 PM
 
7,588 posts, read 1,750,895 times
Reputation: 3505
Get an education and a good job. If that alone doesn't attract women, then see about surgery. In the meantime your looks will change. Just stay slim and toned since half the population of both sexes is fat these days, so that will give you an advantage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2017, 12:12 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,624 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella View Post
The mall is filled with ugly fat people holding hands, many of which contain rings. In fact, so is Central Park. In fact, so is the world. Not us of course, but other people...
Gratuitous insult noted, and of course many of those couples first met when they were more attractive. Anyway, there was no spoiler or white text in my post. I don't believe that physically unattractive people can't get into successful long-term relationships, but their odds are lower and maybe lower than ever these superficial days. Plus, online dating is very tough for heterosexual men who aren't particularly handsome, unless maybe they have very low standards. Therefore, I understand how a young guy can become maybe unhealthily fixated on becoming handsome.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2017, 12:17 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,624 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I don't really know the answer to the first question. I've been called handsome by family members like my mom and grandma but they don't count in my opinion because they'd be biased and probably wouldn't say anything bad about my appearance. I can't really say for sure if I'm better looking than those guys because it's pretty subjective but in my opinion I am. I'm definitely not the ugliest guy in the world by a long shot but I don't think I'm handsome either. If I were to give myself an objective rating it'd be below average.
How about giving us an example of what you think is an average-looking man?

My hunch is that you don't really care whether you're average or a little below average (and I'm almost sure you don't hate your appearance or feel ugly), that socially and romantically there's not much difference between the two (which might be true for men).
Spoiler
People who are butt-ugly from birth to death often have terrible lives. The life described in this thread sounds much better than that.
That leads into expectations - I don't know that you or most men who are nothing special to look at can be made handsome by any amount of cosmetic surgery. Ultimately, you might never be satisfied.

Last edited by goodheathen; 03-28-2017 at 12:26 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2017, 09:01 AM
 
709 posts, read 334,874 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
How about giving us an example of what you think is an average-looking man?

My hunch is that you don't really care whether you're average or a little below average (and I'm almost sure you don't hate your appearance or feel ugly), that socially and romantically there's not much difference between the two (which might be true for men).
Spoiler
People who are butt-ugly from birth to death often have terrible lives. The life described in this thread sounds much better than that.
That leads into expectations - I don't know that you or most men who are nothing special to look at can be made handsome by any amount of cosmetic surgery. Ultimately, you might never be satisfied.
I don't really have a specific person in mind when I think of "average". However, I would say that most men are average with attractive and ugly as the extremes. I never wanted to imply that I'm the ugliest guy in the world or anything, but I do think that the way I look has affected my life in various ways. It affected my school life which in turn affected my social life and my self-image. If I'm never satisfied then at least I can say I tried to make myself more attractive and I put up a fight.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2017, 10:30 AM
 
540 posts, read 216,023 times
Reputation: 385
Personality makes a world of difference in how people perceive you.
Build yourself up spiritually.

Some people will never be happy with their looks.
There's so much more to a person than looks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-28-2017, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
4,031 posts, read 3,265,650 times
Reputation: 7390
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
1 is misleading. Potential romantic partners care significantly.
2 is mostly false. There is a ton of research on how physical attractiveness is widely agreed upon.
3 is mostly false and generally irrelevant re meeting new people.
Thanks for responding authoritatively with your own subjective set of "expert" responses.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top