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Old 03-19-2017, 09:40 PM
 
Location: WA
865 posts, read 399,375 times
Reputation: 2632

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Of course plastic surgery CAN be a positive experience that makes you feel more confident, which is one aspect of attracting someone else. For years, I was self conscious of having a receding chin. I've seen worse, but it still made me self conscious in social situations. My brother would mock me about it frequently and I developed an obsession with having a more balanced profile.

When I finally decided to do it, I was happy with the results, and should have done it earlier. The procedure is called a mentoplasty, and is very basic and inexpensive. A LOT of actors and actresses have had them.

The problem people run in to I think is that they are trying to achieve physical perfection. Once you start messing around with the nose and eyes, it gets more complicated. People may not like the initial results and end up having corrective surgery for the original, ad nauseum.

If you are REALLY bothered by one of your features, I think there's nothing unhealthy with getting it done, knowing that it's not going change who you are. it's more about feeling comfortable with the way you perceive yourself.
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Old 03-20-2017, 03:06 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,022 posts, read 445,743 times
Reputation: 2066
Sure it can make certain features more attractive & it can make you look younger. But to me, plastic surgery (which I've had) is ideally used to improve a particular feature, not to make drastic changes. Shape a nose or fix a droopy eyelid, not what you're describing. It can help you improve your confidence, but it doesn't change who you are on the inside, which is often more the issue, when someone feels unattractive. Have you considered talking to a counselor about your feelings? That would be a first step before plastic surgery & if a surgeon questions your motives or feels you have unrealistic expectations of surgery, they may insist that you do so first.
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Old 03-20-2017, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
13,148 posts, read 7,393,567 times
Reputation: 27258
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsMetal View Post
Sure it can make certain features more attractive & it can make you look younger. But to me, plastic surgery (which I've had) is ideally used to improve a particular feature, not to make drastic changes. Shape a nose or fix a droopy eyelid, not what you're describing. It can help you improve your confidence, but it doesn't change who you are on the inside, which is often more the issue, when someone feels unattractive. Have you considered talking to a counselor about your feelings? That would be a first step before plastic surgery & if a surgeon questions your motives or feels you have unrealistic expectations of surgery, they may insist that you do so first.
That is so true. You need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons; to improve whatever it is externally, not to fix a problem internally. Plastic surgery won't ever do that.
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Old 03-20-2017, 09:41 AM
 
Location: equator
2,608 posts, read 1,113,033 times
Reputation: 6347
It can work from the outside in. I had prematurely sagging skin so at 45, I had my neck/jowls tightened and a face-lift. Baggy eyelids, under-eye circles, forehead wrinkles---all gone. No one ever knew; just thought I looked "refreshed". If it's done correctly, it looks perfectly natural.


I sure felt better about myself afterwards! The very next week I was dating someone 15 years younger....
It CAN work wonders, depending on what your issue is.


What in particular do you want fixed, OP?
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Old 03-20-2017, 12:12 PM
 
3,070 posts, read 1,625,107 times
Reputation: 7974
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I'm a guy. I pretty much do everything to take care of my face, I wash it, I shave, and I get haircuts regularly. I work very hard to try to make myself more attractive but I'm never really satisfied when I look in the mirror. I never see women check me out when I go out and I've only been approached by a woman one time. I've been treated as an unattractive person for most of my life and I want to see what it's like to be on the opposite side of the spectrum, I'd literally do anything to see what it's like to be attractive and to be treated as such.
If you consider washing, shaving, and getting haircuts regularly as 'working very hard to make yourself more attractive' then I can see why you have a problem.

How do you dress? Are your clothes well kept and in keeping with current styles? How about your shoes?

Are you physically fit? Well proportioned? Graceful in your movements in life as well as on the dance floor?

Are you polite, courteous, and helpful? Self-confident and pleasant in your demeanor?

Do you make eye contact (in a non-creepy way)? Introduce yourself to strangers or join into general conversations at social or work gatherings?

Pretty much ALL of these things (and more) have to be in alignment for you to be 'that guy' that gets positive, obvious attention from others, especially from strangers.

Unless you have a highly asymmetrical facial structure, poor or blotchy skin tone, or other unfortunate problems, the points that I raised are far more important in making you the 'check out that guy' guy than some type of artificial perfection of facial features given by cosmetic surgery.

The vast majority of people are never at that level. But the more work you put into improving yourself, the closer you will be to your goal. Good luck.
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:51 PM
 
710 posts, read 335,096 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by rugrats2001 View Post
If you consider washing, shaving, and getting haircuts regularly as 'working very hard to make yourself more attractive' then I can see why you have a problem.

How do you dress? Are your clothes well kept and in keeping with current styles? How about your shoes?

Are you physically fit? Well proportioned? Graceful in your movements in life as well as on the dance floor?

Are you polite, courteous, and helpful? Self-confident and pleasant in your demeanor?

Do you make eye contact (in a non-creepy way)? Introduce yourself to strangers or join into general conversations at social or work gatherings?

Pretty much ALL of these things (and more) have to be in alignment for you to be 'that guy' that gets positive, obvious attention from others, especially from strangers.

Unless you have a highly asymmetrical facial structure, poor or blotchy skin tone, or other unfortunate problems, the points that I raised are far more important in making you the 'check out that guy' guy than some type of artificial perfection of facial features given by cosmetic surgery.

The vast majority of people are never at that level. But the more work you put into improving yourself, the closer you will be to your goal. Good luck.
I'm very well dressed, various people have told me that so that's not even a problem for me. I am in good shape and I also exercise, I'm not a dancer though. I'm always polite to people as well, I always treat strangers with respect. I used to not really make eye contact with people but I fixed that as I got older, but I don't really talk all that much unless I'm around a group of people that I'm familiar with. Honestly, I just want the attention from women more than just random strangers. I was able to get a girlfriend recently (we broke up) but other than her, I've never received that type of attention from women before.
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Old 03-21-2017, 01:13 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,627 posts, read 2,113,543 times
Reputation: 1679
It would be simpler to first post to a place like Reddit asking to rate your face than to hope a cosmetic surgeon can pinpoint and fix a problem. Those doctors have specialties - if for instance you see someone who mostly works on noses, he'll probably suggest rhinoplasty. If a few doctors were to agree on the main problem, then maybe do surgery - but again get rated first. Maybe change your hair style, too. If you want to DM me, I'll nitpick some pictures.
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Old 03-21-2017, 05:59 PM
 
710 posts, read 335,096 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
It would be simpler to first post to a place like Reddit asking to rate your face than to hope a cosmetic surgeon can pinpoint and fix a problem. Those doctors have specialties - if for instance you see someone who mostly works on noses, he'll probably suggest rhinoplasty. If a few doctors were to agree on the main problem, then maybe do surgery - but again get rated first. Maybe change your hair style, too. If you want to DM me, I'll nitpick some pictures.
I actually did the reddit thing before and got called "average". I'll send you a message later though with some pictures I have, hopefully you can help me.
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:15 PM
 
710 posts, read 335,096 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
That is so true. You need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons; to improve whatever it is externally, not to fix a problem internally. Plastic surgery won't ever do that.
It is an external problem in my opinion. The way I look has caused me to be treated terribly by some people. I guarantee that if I had some surgery done and the treatment I get started changing, I wouldn't have self image problems anymore because I'd have no reason to feel bad anymore.
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Greater LA area
15,736 posts, read 11,744,086 times
Reputation: 30563
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
It is an external problem in my opinion. The way I look has caused me to be treated terribly by some people. I guarantee that if I had some surgery done and the treatment I get started changing, I wouldn't have self image problems anymore because I'd have no reason to feel bad anymore.


You want surgery but you do not know where?


I sort of understand you but not really. How about you ask a friend what feature he would change on you if he could?


So no huge nose, obese, very short, droopy eyes, huge ears? NOTHING of that?


I think it is the missing confidence ... not your looks.
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