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Old 03-23-2017, 10:21 AM
 
710 posts, read 335,702 times
Reputation: 854

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheapdad00 View Post
OP, the challenge is in your head. Your self-confidence is in the toilet. You just went through a break-up.

You are looking for constant re-affirmation and floundering because you aren't receiving it. At age 19, you don't need a dentist to tell you your teeth are straight - you can look in the mirror and tell that - its very easy. This lack of self-confidence is readily evident to the people around you and is the root of your feelings of inadequacies.

Do you have friends you can speak with or do things with to take your mind off your break-up?
Why did your girlfriend break up with you?
Don't make any rash decisions because of this troubled time you are in.
I don't know why she broke up with me. I was a good boyfriend to her, I bought her stuff, I always complimented her, and I never insulted her or was disrespectful to her. She was a good girlfriend as well but one day she just told me that she didn't want to date me anymore. I do have people to talk about it with and I have talked about it with some people but I'm still sort of sad over it. The breakup isn't why I feel the way I do though, I was insecure about the way I look before I even met her.
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Old 03-23-2017, 10:33 AM
 
Location: between Mars and Venus
1,524 posts, read 778,904 times
Reputation: 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by dk016 View Post
OP, at 19, you will grow into your own as you move further into manhood. I remember so many of the "ugly" guys in high school (age 17/18) that I wouldn't look at then, became very attractive as they aged, and many of the good looking ones were the opposite.

).

^This. Many men look unattractive when younger, but look good as they aged. Either their immature subtle features grew more prominent, or loud features became more subtle, a combination of life experiences and increased charisma, you never know until you're older. Need pics to tell further what's wrong with your looks or if anything helps.

Also, most people probably comment behind the back of an ugly looking person, but who would just call someone ugly directly unless their purpose is bring you down?
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Old 03-23-2017, 11:01 AM
 
21 posts, read 12,039 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I don't know why she broke up with me. I was a good boyfriend to her, I bought her stuff, I always complimented her, and I never insulted her or was disrespectful to her. She was a good girlfriend as well but one day she just told me that she didn't want to date me anymore. I do have people to talk about it with and I have talked about it with some people but I'm still sort of sad over it. The breakup isn't why I feel the way I do though, I was insecure about the way I look before I even met her.
Maybe she broke up with the real you, the man that you are on the inside, and not because of your looks?

I don't think it's your looks, I wouldn't date someone I didn't find attractive.
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Old 03-23-2017, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,638 posts, read 3,319,645 times
Reputation: 12748
Can plastic surgery improve your looks? Yes, but it can also ruin your looks as well.
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Old 03-23-2017, 11:14 AM
 
710 posts, read 335,702 times
Reputation: 854
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvia Vane View Post
Maybe she broke up with the real you, the man that you are on the inside, and not because of your looks?

I don't think it's your looks, I wouldn't date someone I didn't find attractive.
Well everyone is attractive to at least someone. I don't think she broke up with me because of my looks, she just didn't want a relationship anymore I guess.
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Old 03-23-2017, 11:16 AM
 
710 posts, read 335,702 times
Reputation: 854
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
Can plastic surgery improve your looks? Yes, but it can also ruin your looks as well.
It's a risk I'd be willing to take.
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Old 03-23-2017, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
4,034 posts, read 3,269,257 times
Reputation: 7404
You've started at least four threads in the forums here bemoaning your "ugly" looks and going on about your relationship problems. Before you decide to get plastic surgery, do yourself a favor and find a good therapist to help you with your self esteem and body image issues. You're not going to get the kind of help here that's going to get you the insight you need into your problems.

2017 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code F45.22 : Body dysmorphic disorder

Just sayin'.
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Old 03-23-2017, 02:12 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,637 posts, read 2,117,164 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
Can plastic surgery improve your looks? Yes, but it can also ruin your looks as well.
I don't believe "everyone is attractive to at least someone," and I don't especially believe that either. I think rhinoplasty is the only procedure commonly done on males younger than 25 where the outcome not rarely looks worse.
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Old 03-23-2017, 03:35 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,115 posts, read 3,932,227 times
Reputation: 18787
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
I think it's interesting that you would ask this question. I wonder if you're trying to determine the true nature or extent of the problem, meaning that if people actually call you ugly to your face then there must be some significant appearance issue going on, or whether you doubt that people are actually this cruel?
^^^This^^^ I guess I'm just old school because I can't imagine ever telling somebody they were ugly even if they looked like the butt end of an old dog.
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Old 03-23-2017, 03:40 PM
 
Location: State of Washington (2016)
3,291 posts, read 2,182,307 times
Reputation: 12399
Well, your former girlfriend still might have broken up with you even if you were the most attractive guy in town. Everyone, regardless of their looks, either gets their heart broken or break someone else's heart. The fact that she was attracted to you in the first place makes me think you aren't as physically unattractive as you imagine.

Some young men and women need to grow into their looks. We've all seen examples of people who weren't that attractive in grade school and high school, turn out to be really good looking adults.

If you have low self-esteem, others will sense that about you and never be attracted. If you carry yourself with confidence, it would make a lot of difference in other people's perception of you. I think you need to build your self-esteem and and social skills. Maybe if you found something that you were really good at and took pride in, it would boost your confidence. If you have made yourself the best you can be both inside and out (which takes effort, honesty and time), THEN, if people still find you unattractive, the possibility of cosmetic surgery would make more sense.
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