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View Poll Results: Offline have you ever been called "ugly" (or something similar)?
Yes, I'm male and I think so 16 18.39%
No, I'm male and I don't think so 8 9.20%
Yes, I'm female and I think so 35 40.23%
No, I'm female and I don't think so 28 32.18%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-02-2017, 09:49 PM
 
710 posts, read 336,293 times
Reputation: 854

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Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
Yes I was. Directly (the word "ugly") and indirectly when people picked out specific things to ridicule about my appearance. Mostly in Jr High and HS, though a few times since.


It's almost too precious that people think this doesn't happen. Or that it doesn't really matter. You were there. And it mattered.
I agree, it is definitely something that really happens and is really damaging, especially when it's done on a daily basis. I'm still suffering from the effects of it to this day. Making fun of someone for something they have no control over is horrible.
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Old 04-02-2017, 10:32 PM
 
Location: The World
3,012 posts, read 1,817,253 times
Reputation: 7774
I remember in middle school, I had a little "boyfriend" named Eric. He was a really sweet boy, but he had pretty bad acne, all on one side of his face, for some reason.

Anyway, I remember one mean girl asking me, "Do you two share acne medication?"

I thought it was really mean. I also wondered what she was talking about, since I never had bad acne as a kid. I'd have the occasional pimple pop up here and there, but overall, I had really clear skin. It did give me a little bit of a complex, though.
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Old 04-02-2017, 10:56 PM
 
1,463 posts, read 1,814,794 times
Reputation: 2481
No, not in real life. An online troll said I was fat and ugly (How would he know? I'm not big either) twice I was told to go kill myself and it was NOT provoked! WTF is wrong with people??

However, growing up a family member used to make fun of my body a bit, saying I was fat (I weight 105lbs as a teen all thru high school!) I believed it and it angered me. But a couple others did too, so... what was I to think?

But height wise, I've been teased for that all my life by almost everyone I know. It's all in good fun I suppose.
But I don't recall ever being called ugly.
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Old 04-03-2017, 06:35 AM
 
5,072 posts, read 610,795 times
Reputation: 13147
When I was a girl, my peers certainly did -- I had buck teeth and wore thick glasses -- but once I became a woman, I don't think anyone called me actually ugly.

Btw, my grandmother, who was not a nice person to me, once told me that her friend had said that I was pretty girl, but it was such a shame about my teeth. (This was when I was about 15 and a year or two AFTER I had the braces removed, which, unfortunately, still did not give me an attractive smile. I have no idea why she thought she needed to share that comment with me.)

That is one of the reasons why I think kindness and honestly are EQUALLY important.

Last edited by katharsis; 04-03-2017 at 07:00 AM..
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Old 04-03-2017, 08:52 AM
 
8,195 posts, read 10,224,648 times
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I think as many homely people grow up,other people won't call them ugly outright but use covert words and phrases.

Like being told to smile,saying someone looks tired,saying someone looks older,saying someone looks scary,etc.

Even if someone says "Intimidating" that may translate to "unattractive".

Lots of people have shown me by their behavior that i was ugly.
Example: During a meeting the presenter refuses to make eye contact with you but does it with everyone else.

Or guys only hitting on you if you are wearing something tight or revealing,otherwise they do not look at your face and they do not hit on you if you are not wearing any skimpy clothing.

There are women I have observed who can get hit on without wearing skimpy clothing,and guy get hypnotized by their faces it seems. The guys do not look below the pretty women's necks.
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Old 04-03-2017, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,233 posts, read 11,784,350 times
Reputation: 15263
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
"Ugly" has come up in a few different recent threads. However, I haven't ever seen a group of people discuss whether offline (by, for example, a classmate) they have ever been called "ugly" (or otherwise described as such). I'm sure it's most common among adolescents, but for example I wonder if it's sometimes used against people who aren't actually ugly. Ready, set, go. It will be fun - not.
Yes, I recall being called ugly by someone in elementary school, but kids can be cruel, so it didn't traumatize me for life or anything. I don't think I'm the hottest thing in the world, but definitely not ugly.
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Old 04-03-2017, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
1,707 posts, read 1,644,453 times
Reputation: 1346
Yes- many times in junior high. I had to start wearing makeup to summer camp so there was less to make fun of- I made excuses as to why i couldn't go swimming- the real reason was I didn't want my makeup to come off. In HS my mother thought a short haircut would look good on my although almost all the other girls had long hair. Still teased quite a bit in HS. Went to college, met a guy who told me I should grow my hair long. Grew it long (I do have nice hair but it's fine and high maintenance), developed s decent figure and learned to dress, then came home on vaaction and the same guys who made fun of me in HS kept looking at me and whistling. They didn't recognize me . I have light eyelashes and smallish eyes and a bit of makeup has done a lot for my looks and self-esteem.
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Old 04-03-2017, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Middle Earth
944 posts, read 771,343 times
Reputation: 1774
Boy, I must be really ugly and unloved because I think I win in this category of how many times I've been called out ugly. Let me count all those that I can remember:

-father (many times). He literally walked out on me the day I was born because I was darker than the rest of the family and said I wasn't his child when I was.
-mother
-brother (he said he would "kill himself" if the hottest guy in our school (at that time) went out with me. Well, that guy ended being my boyfriend shortly after.)
-uncle
-aunt (always pointing out how much darker I was compared to the rest of my family)
-a female friend (who later became a good friend)
-guy in the lunch line middle school (who later became my friend when we sat in class together)
-guy on the bus in high school
-niece who was 2-3 years old (they say kids are the most truthful)
-ex-husband (the last one who said this to me and hurt me the most due to those words.)

And then if I post a "good" picture of myself, you probably wouldn't believe me because I certainly do not get treated as an "ugly" person when I walk out the doors. I am also lighter skinned now; I guess I've lived in the tundra too long. Also, my ex-husband is very handsome, and somehow I can get attention from the hottest guys in the room (as long as there aren't hotter women around). I don't look like a model, but I know I can look pretty gross if I don't bother. For the reasons above, I have a distorted view about my looks. It took me a long time to believe that I am actually beautiful regardless.

Last edited by AhRainess; 04-03-2017 at 10:04 AM..
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Old 04-03-2017, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,478 posts, read 22,735,197 times
Reputation: 45184
As a kid I was a chubby nerd, but I wasn't outright bullied so much as I was ignored. As an adult, I can't think of any outright insults that weren't from drunk jerks (so, consider the source and all.)
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Old 04-03-2017, 11:21 AM
 
5,072 posts, read 610,795 times
Reputation: 13147
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
I think as many homely people grow up,other people won't call them ugly outright but use covert words and phrases.

Like being told to smile,saying someone looks tired,saying someone looks older,saying someone looks scary,etc.

Even if someone says "Intimidating" that may translate to "unattractive".

Lots of people have shown me by their behavior that i was ugly.
Example: During a meeting the presenter refuses to make eye contact with you but does it with everyone else.

Or guys only hitting on you if you are wearing something tight or revealing,otherwise they do not look at your face and they do not hit on you if you are not wearing any skimpy clothing.

There are women I have observed who can get hit on without wearing skimpy clothing,and guy get hypnotized by their faces it seems. The guys do not look below the pretty women's necks.
Regarding the bolded, I don't those phrases translate to "ugly", but more to "Are you all right?"

And I think you might be being WAY too hard on yourself! I am 63, and in my entire life, I can only think of two females I thought were truly physically ugly, in my opinion (and opinion is just that, not fact), and I just felt sorry for them.

I think you should just focus on your good points (body, hair, eys or whatever) -- or better yet, on the fact that you are an intelligent and thoughtful person, and I am sure you have other great qualities, too -- and not focus so much on your flaws. (And, btw, that makes me a hypocrite because I find it easy to say to others, but hard to apply to myself.)
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