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View Poll Results: Offline have you ever been called "ugly" (or something similar)?
Yes, I'm male and I think so 16 18.39%
No, I'm male and I don't think so 8 9.20%
Yes, I'm female and I think so 35 40.23%
No, I'm female and I don't think so 28 32.18%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-04-2017, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,875 posts, read 28,154,657 times
Reputation: 25988

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Yes, I recall being called ugly by someone in elementary school, but kids can be cruel, so it didn't traumatize me for life or anything. I don't think I'm the hottest thing in the world, but definitely not ugly.
I think for me, the most common thing I have heard, as a lifelong chubby person, some people would allude to the idea that I would be "so much better looking if I lost weight."

But on the flip side I am a pretty smiley person, smile often, and have a warm smile so I end up getting compliments on that. I am the typical cute but chubby person.

Kids are pretty cruel, and I remember overhearing so much chatter about who was "buttaface" and so. It is pretty sad.

I hope everyone has someone in their life that can help build their self-esteem with appropriate compliments.
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Old 04-04-2017, 11:43 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,632 posts, read 2,115,158 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtab4994 View Post
Dudes, especially young dudes, call each other "ugly" all the time. I don't count that.
It probably depends on the school. In most of the places I attended, it's hard to imagine the yuppies-in-training doing that. Rough-housing was not popular.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
I think for me, the most common thing I have heard, as a lifelong chubby person, some people would allude to the idea that I would be "so much better looking if I lost weight."

But on the flip side I am a pretty smiley person, smile often, and have a warm smile so I end up getting compliments on that. I am the typical cute but chubby person.

Kids are pretty cruel, and I remember overhearing so much chatter about who was "buttaface" and so. It is pretty sad.

I hope everyone has someone in their life that can help build their self-esteem with appropriate compliments.
If I were to run a positive version of this thread, I bet that we'd find that many men, prior to romantic relationships, have never received compliments on their looks except from maybe a few older relatives. Just to explain in part why this and other forums are full of men with dating-related low self-esteem.
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Old 04-04-2017, 11:57 AM
 
2,063 posts, read 1,326,622 times
Reputation: 2612
All my life. I wasn't told ugly to my face except maybe my mom. she was brutally honest. I don't think anyone else called me ugly, they called me fat. Now that I think about it, I don't think anyone said ugly to me but I feel like I heard it all my life.
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Old 04-04-2017, 12:48 PM
 
2,953 posts, read 1,391,095 times
Reputation: 5292
A couple of jealous women over the years who wanted to date guys I had dated said they didn't see what these men saw in me. To my face. Told them I only felt enhanced by them thinking that. As these guys were interested in me not them.

One 20 something threw a hissy fit in front of a bunch of men at our gym as if HER view was the only one acceptable. Yeah she made a fool out of herself. Felt sorry for her that I bugged her that much.

One of my college room mates of 40 years ago said a guy in school told her he heard she had a beautiful roommate. She told him it depended on who saw me on what day. So true.

I'm 60, some men still look twice at me. Husband still tells me I'm a 10, that is all that matters to me.
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Old 04-04-2017, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Seattle
6,486 posts, read 13,783,847 times
Reputation: 2764
I went on a date once with a guy (I'm also a guy). The date went just medium and it was clear we weren't a good fit. A few weeks later, another friend found a YouTube video that the guy had made, calling me a troll. So, I think I can answer yes to this.

I've had a couple other somewhat romantic interests over the years tell me I'd be so attractive if I worked out more. Needless to say they're not in my life anymore! (I'm 5'11 and 185 lbs, usually around 175 lbs, so I don't think that's a fair statement at all - plus anyone says anything like that to anyone clearly has other issues...)
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Old 04-04-2017, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,718 posts, read 59,596,711 times
Reputation: 26823
No way I could remember that. It would not be something that mattered, so it wold not be remembered. Appearance, personality or whatever, I have always felt that if someone found me offensive, just move on to someone else. 330 million people in the US alone, Certainly I will find some whom do not find me offensive. As to the rest, I do not need them. Thus, they, and any comments they may have had are eminently forgettable.
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Old 04-08-2017, 05:58 PM
 
Location: Follow the oil exhaust cloud until you run out of gas, then turn left
779 posts, read 225,129 times
Reputation: 1527
Yeah, I've been called ugly in the real world, and at least a couple times directly to my face. (they learned their lesson FAST what happens when they do that!) I get it now and again.

Screw em. They're just jealous that they can't have what I do. Sucks to be them!
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Old 04-08-2017, 06:10 PM
Status: "So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." (set 4 days ago)
 
3,266 posts, read 1,471,104 times
Reputation: 6366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
No way I could remember that. It would not be something that mattered, so it wold not be remembered. Appearance, personality or whatever, I have always felt that if someone found me offensive, just move on to someone else. 330 million people in the US alone, Certainly I will find some whom do not find me offensive. As to the rest, I do not need them. Thus, they, and any comments they may have had are eminently forgettable.

You know with only a mildly pessimistic approach you can whittle 330 million people down to about 7 with 4 or 5 questions, and of those 7 one is your former stalker and another just attacked you in a road rage incident.


Abundance is cool as a mindset, but in practice it's cool as a mindset.
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Old 04-08-2017, 07:45 PM
 
1,445 posts, read 1,738,273 times
Reputation: 941
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
I think as many homely people grow up,other people won't call them ugly outright but use covert words and phrases.

Like being told to smile,saying someone looks tired,saying someone looks older,saying someone looks scary,etc.

Even if someone says "Intimidating" that may translate to "unattractive".

Lots of people have shown me by their behavior that i was ugly.
Example: During a meeting the presenter refuses to make eye contact with you but does it with everyone else.

Or guys only hitting on you if you are wearing something tight or revealing,otherwise they do not look at your face and they do not hit on you if you are not wearing any skimpy clothing.

There are women I have observed who can get hit on without wearing skimpy clothing,and guy get hypnotized by their faces it seems. The guys do not look below the pretty women's necks.

or when in school or even at work, you are excluded from certain special activities/projects because your looks are not enough for them to include you. i've always been short, even in a country of shorter than average people, and considered to be among the physically average facially but was always excluded in activities that i wanted to join (even though i had the skills for such) because i was not "cute" enough, or "photogenic" enough. it was really bad in gradeschool and highschool.

and then you have relatives that compare us cousins like saying "oh your cousin is so pretty! she's a key dancer in such and such groups!" in schools. that said cousin was even tasked to sing in musicals by the group's director even though she was such a bad singer because it was easier to train someone pretty to sing than to make a plain jane singer to look pretty enough for them.

so yeah, some people may not tell it to you directly, but present it to you in a way that still hurts
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Old 04-12-2017, 10:06 AM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
369 posts, read 177,115 times
Reputation: 1503
I always got the "You have such a pretty face, it's a shame you're so fat" crap. Like my aunt's little poem she said to me once- "You won't get a boyfriend if you are rotund!"

My ex-husband once told me that he didn't worry about me going anywhere by myself because I was so ugly nobody would want me.

My current and forever husband is always telling me how beautiful I am no matter how bad I look. This help to heal the scars of all the mean things that have been said to me in the past.
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